“Bart, we can’t let Bob steal the spotlight.  We’re gonna have to stoop to the lowest common denominator.” – Lisa Simpson
“I can do that.” – Bart Simpson

Seemingly everyone with an internet connection weighed in on the Family Guy crossover this week.  I couldn’t possibly read or link them all, so the below is by no means a definitive, or even a representative, sample, but broadly reactions seemed to fall into two categories.  There were people who hated it and there were people who liked it.  The difference is that the people who hated it, really hated it, while the people who liked it qualified their admiration with lots and lots of caveats and reservations.  So the below is mostly reviews of the crossover leavened with some other stuff that somehow made it through all the noise.

Enjoy.

We Met the World’s Leading Authority on Bootleg Bart Simpson T-Shirts – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this interview with a guy who collects bootleg Bart t-shirts.  There’s a neat little video, lots of examples, and he even says this:

A lot of people bash the show now for not being like how it used to be, but the couch gags alone smash anything I’ve seen on TV. You don’t need to watch the full episode if you don’t want to, but man… watch those couch gags.

I keep saying it because it’s true: nobody cares about what’s actually in the episodes.

Is The Simpsons relying too heavily on gimmicks? – Yes.  (The article makes a number of good points that will be familiar to anyone reading this site, namely that the actual episodes are now by far the least important and visible part of the show.  Maybe they should pull the plug or something?  Nah, that’s crazy talk.)

Don Hertzfeldt’s Simpson’s Couch Gag is about relationships and mental illness – That couch gag got kind of lost in the shuffle this week, what with the death and the crossover.  I’m not sure I agree with this, but it’s by far the most thoughtful and careful writeup of it that I saw.

They did it! They actually did it! Why critical old me is pleasantly surprised by The Simpsons/Family Guy Crossover – I guess it’s time to get started with the crossover links.  This is from someone who liked it:

This crossover was nothing less than a big “jokes-on-you” to everyone who was getting way too hyped about this crossover. Everything from the Griffin’s first conversation to the widely-predicted chicken-style end fight between Peter and Homer is a slap in this face to whoever thought this was going to be the best thing that’s ever hit Fox’s Sunday night line up.

Couch Potato: “The Simpsons Guy” B+ – Again, this is from someone who was generally pleased:

the special was smart to begin with Chris basically breaking the 4th wall and explain that crossovers are mostly a marketing ploy. Stewie then tells him to shut up, acknowledging that even if so, so what?

Not exactly a ringing endorsement.

The Simpsons/Family Guy Crossover – This is fairly typical:

Throughout the episode, characters from each of the two shows popped up in different scenes. It was fun to see some of the characters interact with one another and during these moments, we could easily identify how The Simpsons has inspired elements of Family Guy, but as the episode wore on, these interactions became less funny. Ultimately, an episode’s success has to rely on its ability to tell a story. An endless stream of interactions between characters from two different worlds does not accomplish this.

6 Other Potential TV Crossovers – This “it was okay but still lame” opinion was widespread:

In a television event that is almost as historic as the final episode of M*A*S*H, The Simpsons crossed over with Family Guy this past weekend, creating a relatively mild episode for both shows. I liked it, in the same way I generally like any new episode of The Simpsons or Family Guy. I will always be a fan of both shows, but I think we’ve all settled into a general state of mediocre acceptance. Still, whoever though it would happen, right?

The Simpsons/ Family Guy Crossover Review – See what I mean?:

With The Simpsons entering it 26th season, and Family Guy entering its 13th, these two much loved shows are perhaps both past their primes, but the novelty of seeing both families duke it on screen is a something that provides in part moments of greatness, in part missed opportunities, as well as a smattering of simply bizarre moments.

The 5 Worst Things About The ‘Family Guy’/’Simpsons Crossover – Uproxx gives it the blow-by-blow.

Family Guy: The Simpsons Guy (13.1) Review – An actually positive review with no sarcasm, irony, or sarcastic irony.  Also, the only one I saw.

Why Brandscaping Works – Unless you count the guy who saw it as a brilliant marketing ploy and actually used the word “brandscaping”.

9 ways the Family Guy/Simpsons crossover was a blight on humanity – Only nine?

The Simpsons Guy had Everything… Except Laughs – Yup:

No soul means that there is no organic drive. Neither the Griffins nor the Simpsons feel like real families anymore. Instead they all feel like actors, lining up to do the same routines regardless of whether or not there is any comedy left in them. When both shows were at their peak, they contained scripts that made the audience able to relate to the characters.

A Bomb in the Lasagna: “The Simpsons Guy” Was Slightly Less Horrible Than I Imagined – Nice one:

As a lifelong Simpsons fan who admittedly subscribes to the common wisdom that the show’s halcyon days are behind them (the new seasons middling premier didn’t help) and as someone whose enthusiasm for Family Guy has dwindled pretty markedly over the past several years, to say that I was less than thrilled about the crossover would be an understatement hovering somewhere between “the Hindenburg explosion was kind of a drag” or “John Wilkes Booth wasn’t really vibeing with what Lincoln was laying down” in terms of severity. But, a combination of failed self-restraint and journalistic integrity (the six of you who actually read this will remember that promise here) led me astray my better judgement and in front of Fox for an hour this past weekend. And, while “The Simpson’s Guy” might not have been the eldritch monstrosity that I believed it would be, it wasn’t much better.

Family Guy/Simpsons Crossover: Bad For Both Shows – The headline says it all, but the article has some fun moments:

“The Simpsons Guy” is a lame Family Guy episode that would never be talked about by anyone outside of the series’ core fanbase if it wasn’t also for the appearance of America’s favorite animated family. Family Guy is never going to be as great as The Simpsons, and both shows are aware of that. But “The Simpsons Guy” is bad for both of them: Family Guy comes off worse than usual, and it’s both frustrating and sad to see it try so hard to bring The Simpsons down to its level.

‘The Simpsons’ and ‘Family Guy’ came together and it was awesome and sad – You know things were bad when USA Today (America’s Favorite Pencil!) trashes the show on a sports blog:

It was funny, but also really sad. Mostly because after 26 years, The Simpsons isn’t funny. It’s been a very long time since The Simpsons had its edge,

‘Simpsons’ fans are totally underwhelmed by the death of (spoiler) – And speaking of McPaper:

So that was it?
That’s what a lot of Simpsons fans are saying after Sunday’s season premiere, when, after the show hyped that a character was going to die, the one who actually kicked the bucket was Krusty the Clown’s dad Rabbi Krustofski. Many fans were expecting a major character, like Krusty himself, to die, and they felt pretty underwhelmed after all the hype.

The Simpsons & the One-Trick Pony – Heh:

The crossover episode put the husband to sleep. It left me feeling like I’d spent an hour watching Seth MacFarlane’s therapy session. And I felt like I should send him an invoice and a list of suggestions for better handling his insecurities.

On TV: Review of ‘Family Guy’ and ‘The Simpsons’ cross-over – Feel the enthusiasm:

The crossover proved largely entertaining if unsurprising. Both “The Simpsons” and “Family Guy” are mature shows that have little room for growth. Their tropes are well-established and all-too predictable.

The Simpsons Guy – Another less than overwhelmed viewer:

Overall I did not like this crossover. The reason? Because it didn’t seem to know what it was supposed to be.

So there you go: lots of “meh” and more than a few “ugh”.  That was a worth a year of buildup.

Simpsons fake out on major death – As for the death of Krusty’s father, this seems to be a pretty typical reaction:

so he will be missed by the shows crew and cast, but maybe not as missed by the fans.

The Simpsons: Krusty’s Dad Dies — Rabbi Krustofsky Dead On Season Premiere – Jean doing a little post death publicity.  Nothing in the way of actual information, though.

Sunday Discussion: Comparing Alabama Political Leaders To The Simpsons – I know nothing about politics in Alabama, but these are some pretty good comparisons.

The Simpsons, Maths and Museums – A writeup of Jean and David X. Cohen at a British science museum talking up the math book.

Girl Gang – Very cool fan art of a Simpsons clad gang.  Bravo.

Don’t Make People Pay for Media, Let Them. – Yet another person whose parents tried and failed to prevent her from watching the show.

And Now: Breast Cancer Action Month – Excellent usage:

My problem is with the name. I’m okay with “breast” and “month,” but the rest?

The Simpsons once had an episode that cleverly poked fun at the idea of awareness of this or that. They had the Awareness Awards (for Awareness of course):

From The Simpsons episode “Behind the Laughter”

Bart: When Willie [Nelson] asked me to be a presenter at the New Awareness Awards, I had to think about it … for about a microsecond!

Marge: You just don’t say no to the redheaded stranger … and when I heard that it was for awareness, that sealed the deal!

But awareness in the social media age seems to be all about putting something, a cause or a product, in front of you early and often and then doing little else.

Kwik-E-Mart Reusable Bag Styled in Honor of ‘The Simpsons’ Convenience Store – Rabbi Krustofsky may be dead, but merchandising will live forever.

The Simpsons USB Sticks 8GB – I enjoy a decapitated head sticking out of my laptop.

We meet the guy who draws Homer Simpson in the sand on the South Bank – Our old friend Martin Artman got his name in the paper, and there’s more pictures of those giant beach drawings.

Wauseon students paint to win pizzas – Art students painted the family on the front of a snow plow.  No Mr. Plow, though, so that’s weird.

What to do with a Simpson’s house – Legos are always more fun when you don’t follow the instructions.

The logo 1.0 – Heh.

springfield nail game – Bart, Homer, Milhouse and Duff on fingernails.  Cool.

Bartsock – Some socks, including Bart and Homer ones.

‘Simpsons’ Creator Matt Groening Talks about Early Life, Cartooning – No real news or anything in this Groening interview, it’s just his usual stuff, but the picture of him with yellow hands was pretty clever.

On TV: Review of ‘The Simpsons’ Season 26 premiere – Someone agreeing with us:

I can’t do it. I can’t be generous to “The Simpsons” anymore. I just can’t. It’s dull. And I watched the premiere of the 26th season Sunday night. I chuckled once or twice.

Bart’s Right, Let’s ‘None Of Us Have A Cow’ – And finally, I get to end with someone who really agrees with us:

Well, because the problem is, that killing off a character, can’t possibly rekindle anyone’s interest in the Simpsons; I rarely tune in these days and lament the fact that Maude Flanders isn’t in it anymore. But the main reason that a ‘death’ can’t solve the Simpsons’ problems, is because it is already dead.

Testify!

Bart’s disrespectful behavior leads Marge to book him and Homer for a conflict-resolution cruise on the Relation Ship, and while Homer’s away, Marge takes charge of his fantasy-football team, with surprising results.

Nick Offerman guest voices tonight, and one of the ‘plots’ involves fantasy football apparently.  These are two of my favorite things, but not watching this episode will still be the best decision I make today.

“I want the whole world to hear the story of my harrowing struggle with hypohemia.” – C.M. Burns

The post-apocalyptic Mr. Burns play continues to spread.  Local theater companies in both Arizona and Colorado are putting it on the next couple of weeks, and we have links to both.  At this rate, the play itself might survive the apocalypse.  In more regular links, we also have a couple more unhappy reviews of the crossover, some excellent usage, several .gifs, an in-depth look at the varieties of Duff on sale in Florida, and the relentless filler of Zombie Simpsons demonstrated in YouTube format.

Enjoy.

(Oh, and in case anyone cares, Season 17 will be released on home video on December 2nd.  I got a nice press e-mail from FOX about it, including this image that has the entirely predictable details:

The only interesting thing is that they’re including “Krusty Gets Busted” and “Cape Feare” on the Blu-Ray versions, and since I could get either of those with a good season, it’s a pretty weak upsell.  That is all.)

Bort license plate: Simpsons fans get them in real life, comprise nerdy club – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is a story about license plates that comes with lots of cool anecdotes and pictures.

All 554 Simpsons couch gags in one video – This was making the rounds this week, and is kind of neat.  I would just like to point out that this is what it looks like halfway through:

Please note that it’s almost entirely Zombie Simpsons, the only exception being (what I assume) is “The 138th Episode Spectacular”, where they replayed a bunch of them.  They eat clock with this thing regularly (even when they do it themselves).

4 Ways The Simpsons Might End – Our old friend Bob Chipman lays out four scenarios.  I’d suggest a fifth, if only because it almost happened three years ago: FOX cans the show and they have to pick something that’s already in production as the finale.

Curtain Critic: ‘Mr. Burns’ at Space 55 manages dark, apocalyptic pop-culture comedy – Oh, cool, you can go see the Mr. Burns play in Phoenix for the next three weekends.

Boulder troupe imagines ‘The Simpsons’ surviving apocalypse – And in Arizona too.

Hey Internet, I Tried. Part 2: The Simpsons/Family Guy Crossover – There was no way to fit all the reviews in last week, but the ones from this week aren’t any more positive:

They might as well have had Maggie shoot Peter.
Nothing sucks more than missed opportunities. The Family Guy/Simpsons crossover had a lot of that.

So… the Family Guy and The Simpsons crossover – Oh, what the hell, one more:

Was as we all expected, a flaming ball of excrement. I will keep this brief, as not much can, and not much needs to be said.

Lukas Podolski posts picture of Danny Welbeck as a skinny Homer Simpson – And tall.

‘Simpsons’ Fan Complains About Too Many Quotes In Facebook Group – I am reminded often, if not quite daily, that I’m glad I never joined Facebook, but this is pretty damned funny.

5 Fandom Friday: Gateway Fandoms That Made Me Who I Am Today – You have chosen . . . wisely:

My love for The Simpsons knows no bounds. I’ve been a fan ever since I was about 7 or 8. My mom won some radio contest and the prize was any DVD/Box set we wanted. They had so many choices and I almost picked up King of The Hill, but I picked up The Simpsons season 5. That was probably the best decision I’ve made in my whole life thus far.

‘The Simpsons Are Going To..': Ranking Every ‘Simpsons’ Travel Episode – No surprise, the couple from the single digit seasons are at the top here.  (Though I’m not sure I’d count “Itchy & Scratchy Land” as a travel episode since it’s not a real place, but to each his own.)

The Simpsons ‘Springfield’ as you’ve never seen it before – You’ve actually probably seen these before, since I’ve linked them a couple of times, but they remain as gorgeous as ever.

Brew Review – Duff Beer at Universal Orlando – A serious beer fan takes a look at what’s on offer at the amusement park.  There’s actually a “Duff Dry” that looks pretty good.

The Simpsons Family History by Matt Groening (2014) – A short review of that new book they published.

Aurora Borealis?! – Excellent usage:

“BIG NEWS: People in Sydney, New York, the UK and other middle latitude cities may be able to see the Southern or Northern lights this weekend, thanks to two huge solar storms heading our way.”

My first thoughts?

Aurora borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localised entirely in your kitchen?!

Heh.

New Techniques: Cold Smoked Cheese – Heh:

I thought I would start with cheese as it’s the cheapest and least complicated, plus cheese rules everything around me.
Marge: Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: I think I’m blind.

Get the gouda, chedda chedda bill, ya’ll.

Start with a T – All the ways you can rock a Simpsons t-shirt.

Only the Lonely – A review of The Zero Theorem starts with excellent usage:

FXX is running classic episodes of The Simpson’s, but I just couldn’t allow myself to watch another three-hour block and then call it a night. Unless A Fish Called Selma is showing, that might be my favorite episode (“No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost. You see…”).

And it comes with a .gif of Troy McClure repairing his beanbag chair.

New trending GIF tagged cartoons & comics dance… – Homer’s missing the chili cook off.  It’s going on right now and he’s missing it!

On TV: Review of ‘The Simpsons’ Season 26, Episode 2 – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us:

I start every fall optimistically. I think Lucy will let Charlie Brown kick the football. And I think they’ll be a funny episode of “The Simpsons.” I’m wrong on both counts.

If I’d thought of that sentence five years ago, we might never have needed this whole damn blog.

“Lunchlady Doris, have you got any grease?” – Groundskeeper Willie
“Yes.  Yes, we do.” – Lunchlady Doris
“Then grease me up, woman!” – Groundskeeper Willie
“Okie-dokie.” – Lunchlady Doris

Doris Grau would’ve been 90 today. Happy birthday!

“Don’t make me tap the sign.” – Bus Driver

There are episodes of Zombie Simpsons that border on manic, where they just throw crazy shit at the screen and hope that some of the incoherent jumble produces a chuckle or two.  But there are also episodes like “Super Franchise Me”, that feel like they were produced by people in the depths of an Eeyore level depression.  This is Zombie Simpsons going through the motions: slowly, reluctantly, joylessly.  The story, Marge opens a sandwich franchise, is paper napkin thin, and since there’s no B-plot, they had to tack on a slow motion fantasy chase sequence at the end to shuffle this one across the twenty-minute finish line.

(Sorry we forgot to put up a preview post.  Guess we weren’t the only ones half-assing it this week.)

- And you can tell things are off to a bad start when they have a clock eating non-guest couch gag.  It’s 45 seconds long.  Just 19m:15s to go!

- Guh, Flanders is reading the sign gags.  The sign gags are one of the few things they don’t completely suck at, so this is always annoying.

- And then they did it with Homer reading the name of the Japanese city.

- This is one of the dumber montages I’ve seen in a while.  Marge is cooking meat, and Homer is worried for some reason.  It takes almost forty seconds.  Tick-tock, tick-tock.

- You want a good example of how filler-iffic this episode is?  Bart and Lisa just watched Homer stuff food into Santa’s Little Helper for fifteen seconds before they objected.  It wasn’t funny, but it did eat some time!

- On a printed, 8pt font list of this episode’s problems, this would be on about page three, but it makes no sense for Marge to make all these sandwiches after Flanders takes his freezer back.  The premise is that the food is gonna go bad before anyone can eat it, and now she’s got a ton of sandwiches that would still need to go in the fridge.

- Similar to the above, why does Bart want sandwiches at night before he goes to bed?

- Oh, now they have a scene with Flanders explaining that he’s keeping them in his freezer.  It’s nice that they tied up the loose end, I guess, but when your story is so week that you almost have to retcon it before the first commercial break, it’s not a good sign.

- Oh, look, the main story has arrived in the form of a woman showing up at the school, where Marge went for no apparent reason.  Literally neither of them should be there.  Well done, Zombie Simpsons.

- Gotta love sparkling dialogue like this: “Mom, you’re gonna open a sandwich store?”, “Uh-huh.”

- Homer’s flashback to a Pizza Hut certainly went on for a while.

- Marge being happy that everything here is hers could’ve been interesting if it had been developed beyond having her just say “my” over and over.

- Krusty and Mr. Teeny just showed up for some reason.  And now the monkey is bathing in a giant salsa tray.

- Frink’s applying for a job.  Marge sets it up by telling him not to make any weird noises.  He then makes weird noises.  I think this was diagrammed out in Chapter 3 of “Scriptwriting For the Terminally Boring”.

- Gil handing out the strip club card would’ve been much funnier if the “Tell You Their Real Name” Tuesday joke had either been on the card or spoken aloud.  It’s both.  Reading the sign gags really sucks.

- Remember what I said earlier about Marge being happy about things actually being hers?  Well, that got dropped completely and now the Simpson family is working in the restaurant.

- “I was short staffed and your father volunteered.” – Thanks, exposition Marge!  We only saw that one minute ago, how could we possibly remember it?

- Montage #2.  This one is about making and selling sandwiches.

- The “We’re Closed and the Alarm Is On” sign with the skull and crossbones is kinda funny, but I’m just happy they didn’t have someone read it to us.

- There’s another sandwich place across the street now.  Bart pointed it out.  I like this scene, it’s a combination between their hatred of object permanence and their love of bizarre and abrupt plot twists.

- Cletus is reading ridiculous kids names.  Haven’t seen that before.

- Burns and Smithers just showed up for some reason.

- It’s okay, they’re gone now.

- You can argue about whether or not this show is funny (I don’t think it is, but to each their own), but there’s no denying that it’s dumb.  The premise here is that the sandwich franchise opened another location across the street and screwed Marge.  That’s actually a real problem (Subway, for example, is notorious for screwing its franchisees like that), but it’s not used for any kind of comedy here whatsoever.  Instead, they have Homer get scalded, stabbed and bashed in his crotch, and even then it doesn’t make sense.

- Just for good measure, we see Burns fall incompetently off of a rowboat.  Remember evil Burns?  He was fun.

- And now it’s over and they’ve got a caveman Homer very (very) slowly chasing some giant animal because this episode came in a solid minute short, even with all that filler.

- Nice of them to mention Jan Hooks, though.

Anyway, the ratings are in and they are way up, but only because of football overrun.  Last night’s cripplingly stretched premise was seen by 7.34 million people, probably half of whom just left it on after the Dallas-Seattle game.  That’s down from the also football lifted season premier, and it would’ve been an average number as recently as Season 22, but it counts as good for them these days.  Next week, the late national game is Giants-Cowboys, so we’ll see if there’s another (relatively) big number.

“Sweet, trusting Marge, I can’t let you down.  I’ll get some money somehow. . . . Hello, Vegas?  Gimme a hundred bucks on red. . . . D’oh!  Alright, I’ll send you a check.” – Homer Simpson

It’s now officially mid-October and there has been no announcement from FOX or anyone else about next season.  For most shows, that wouldn’t be an issue, but for Zombie Simpsons, which is wildly asynchronous with the rest of network television’s renew/cancel announcements, it’s very odd.  Thanks to the show’s ancient pedigree and very long production schedule, the last couple of renewal announcements have come in early or mid-October.  Well . . . it’s that time of year and we haven’t heard anything.

Complicating matters is the general laziness of the entertainment press.  Last year we got the renewal announcement for Season 26 on October 4th.  But that’s all we got.  Unlike previous renewals, which bragged about the new episode total, all the press release said was that the show would be around for Season 26.  And while plenty of sites reported “Simpsons renewed” none that I was able to find (then or now) contained an episode total.  (Even The New York Times just wrote up the press release and didn’t ask any questions.)

The episode total is more important than the season number because, as I’ve said before, how the show ends is determined by the production runs, not the broadcast runs.  For several years now, FOX has been ordering 22-episode production runs.  The “SABF” run comprised most of Season 25, and its first few episodes have spilled into Season 26.  Sometime soon, the “TABF” run will start being broadcast and will make up most of Season 26.  This is all entirely normal.

However, since the copy and paste brigade that passes for entertainment journalism didn’t give us an episode total, it’s at least possible that instead of ordering a full 22-episode production run last year, FOX only ordered a shortened run that will end this spring instead of spilling over into next fall.  If that’s the case, then we could see the end of the show in 2015.

Now, I don’t think that is the case and I don’t want to start any rumors that the show is finally going to end.  Quite frankly, the opposite is more likely.  Odds are that last year they ordered a full 22-episode TABF run, no reporters bothered to ask them for a total, and that the show is already de-facto renewed for at least a partial Season 27.

But the reason this time of year is important is because of the extraordinarily long lead time needed to create an episode.  The show can’t wrap the finale the week before it’s broadcast and just send everyone home.  Instead, the production will gradually shut down months ahead of time as new scripts stop being ordered and the final episodes wind their way through the animation process.  In the age of Twitter and friends, there’s no way you could keep that secret, even for a little while.

So, we have a couple of interesting pieces of information:

1.  It’s mid-October and there’s been no renewal announcement.
2.  There was no confirmation that the TABF production run is a full 22-episodes.  (At least that Google and I could find, anyway.)
3.  The long production time of the show means that it’ll shut down months before the last broadcast.

Where does that leave us?  It means that sometime in the next month or so we’ll either get a renewal announcement, a cancellation announcement, or another rumor heavy cluster fuck (a la 2011) about whether or not the show will stagger forward for another year or more.  My money is on a renewal announcement (best predictor of future behavior being past behavior, and all that), but we are in a situation where it’s at least possible that we might hear otherwise in the near future.

Keep watching the skis.

[Update 2:08pm Eastern: Word from Caesar himself in comments: "TABF = full 22 order".  Still looking for a renewal notice, but there will definitely be at least a partial Season 27.]

“The challenger learned how to fight in the notorious projects of Capital City, and honed his skills while serving time for aggravated assault and manslaughter in Springfield Prison.” – Boxing Announcer
“Alright, a local boy!” – Barney Gumble

With the hoopla around the premier and the crossover now safely in the rear view mirror, and Halloween stuff not yet ramping up to full volume, it’s a pretty short Reading Digest this week.  We do have hometown articles about both Al Jean and Mike Reiss, however.  In addition to those, we’ve got some excellent fan art, a couple of interesting lists, and some stuffed animal based charity.

Enjoy.

[TV Talk] Top 10 Simpsons Horror Movie Parodies – This is a pretty good list.  There is one Zombie Simpsons segment, but it’s #9.  #10 is the Guillermo del Toro couch gag, which was pretty entertaining even if it wasn’t part of the show proper.

Cakes Raise Cancer Awareness – Simpsons cakes, specifically, and there’s even art of one of Comic Book Guy.  Bravo.

Sometimes words just get in the way – Longtime director Mark Kirkland has made a short, silent movie:

A romantic comedy that takes place, as the first title card explains, in a “long-forgotten movie studio,” The Moving Picture Co. 1914 has a 22-minute running time that Kirkland notes is the same length as a Simpsons episode if you cut out the commercials.
“I’m used to that time length and meter,” says the California Institute of the Arts graduate, who double-majored in film and animation. “The Simpsons are in my blood.”

Weird Al is playing the guy who’s playing Jesus.

Reboot The Simpsons – Instead of flashing everyone forward, I guess you could go backwards instead, but either way I remain convinced that the current show has to die before anything new and interesting can come out of Simpsons-world.

Reproduction of Lisa Simpson, The Scream – Excellent fan made painting.

Four sitcoms past their prime – Zombie Simpsons is such a fixture on lists like these, that the lists themselves have taken a meta-note of it:

The Simpsons
This show has been on every past-their-prime list published in the last decade.

Bargain Bin Games – The Simpsons: Bart Vs. The World  – A YouTube review.

Say Anything Parodies on TV: 8 of the Best – Otto proposing to Becky is on here, but I’d probably go with Itchy & Scratchy’s “Spay Anything” in “Cape Feare”, though that doesn’t have the boombox over the head thing.

On TV: 5-sentence review of ‘The Simpsons’ Season 26, Episode 3: ‘Super Franchise Me’ – According to the ratings, a lot of people do this:

Truth be told, I only watch about four “The Simpsons” episodes a year, until they choke out their “Treehouse of Horror,” and then I go on my way forgetting that they’re on TV, basically having vague memories that this was something I once looked forward to watching.

WTF Wednesday: Questionable Trends in Fashion – The trend of fashionable Bart clothing spreads.

Hype launches The Simpsons apparel with Topman – See above.  Retro cool now, I guess.

Young Glendale sisters lend a helping hand – Cute:

There’s one thing 9-year-old Karis Zavala rarely puts down: a miniature doll of Lisa Simpson from the animated sitcom “The Simpsons.”
She’s vowed for the past seven years to never let it go.

She and her sister are going a charity thing to collect plush toys for kids.

Library dedicates section to ‘The Simpsons’ writer, Bristol native – You gotta love Reiss:

“When I won my first Emmy for ‘The Simpsons,’ I told my wife ‘Take a picture, I’ve got to send it to the hometown paper,’ and she did,” he said. “Four days later it was on the front page of The Bristol Press — me in a tuxedo holding an Emmy, over the caption ‘Local Man Claims To Win Award.’”

‘The Simpsons’ founding writer Al Jean on his Detroit roots – And speaking of local-boy-makes-good, Jean talks about his roots, and what they have to teach us.

BWW Reviews: MR. BURNS, A POST-ELECTRIC PLAY with The Catamounts in Boulder – The play gets good reviews even a couple thousand miles from Broadway.

Did The Simpsons Predict A Hot-Button SCOTUS Case 22 Years Ago? – No.  This has been simple answers to simple questions.

robocall – Excellent illustrative reference:

The pre-recorded, automated telephone call, almost as widely reviled as it is exploited, has benign and malevolent uses. Professor Frink, in The Simpsons, envisioned using the technology to tell children about school cancellations, which seems harmless enough. But in the same episode, Homer demonstrates a range of abuses. An appointment reminder from your auto dealer or the doctor’s office may not be so bad. But no one likes non-human solicitations, or repeated entreaties to vote for this candidate or the next.

Patty or Selma, you are a real woman … – A multi-colored animated .gif of Patty based on one of the vacation photos from “Flaming Moe’s”.

Awesome Character #1: Milhouse Van Houten – Just a little appreciation for everyone’s favorite dorky doormat.

Thrift Store Halloweekends – Barney Gumble, The Simpsons Spooky Light-Ups (Burger King) – Someone found a fast food toy left over from 2001.

Homer Simpson Stonecutter by deathbycartoon – Fan made depiction of the Chosen One leading the Stonecutters to glory.

Simpsons Collection Vol:1 – Fan made Simpsons sketches.

The Simpsons predicted Ebola outbreak in 1997, some people on the internet actually believe – I’d say most people just think it’s weird, but I’m sure there are some believers out there.

Blood Feud – Episode #035 – Heh:

We are now at the end of the episode here and I have one thing to say… How the hell did the delivery guys manage to get the gift of Xtapolapocetl into the house? There is absolutely no way! Well, that cartoons for you.

The Simpsons Arcade Game retrospective: How Konami struck yellow gold – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us.  In this case, in a video game retrospective:

Family Guy’s Peter Griffin spoke for most of us when he declared “I am over the Simpsons,” during a recent crossover episode with Springfield’s famous five, but such talk would have been dismissed as sacrilege when Matt Groening’s creation was at the peak of its popularity.
It’s been misfiring for as long as most of us can remember, but The Simpsons remains one of television’s greatest achievements.

Indeed.

On the annual spooktacular Halloween special, Bart and Lisa are transported to a demon-filled alternate universe after Bart reads a set of Aramaic symbols he finds on the underside of his desk; Moe’s “Clockwork Orange”-style gang is disrupted when Dum (Homer) falls for a girl (Marge) who wants him to give up the thug life; and, in an homage to “The Others,” the Simpsons are visited by their former Tracey Ullman-era versions of themselves

Happy almost-Halloween everyone, it’s time for the annual installment of THOH.  This is the 25th such episode, which I guess could be celebrated as some sort of milestone, if one wished to do so.  I’m not going to, but I am a bit of a jerk.

“This sandwich tastes so young and impudent.  Seymour, what’s with the good grub?” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Well, perhaps I ought to let you folks in on a secret.  Do you remember me telling Jimbo Jones that I’d make something of him one day?” – Principal Skinner
“Are you saying you killed Jimbo, processed his carcass, and served him for lunch? . . . Ha!” – Mrs. Krabappel

This year’s Halloween special had three segments: one about a hellish version of Springfield Elementary, one about a Kubrick movie, and one about the Simpson family co-existing with different versions of itself.  Twenty years ago, the Halloween special also had three segments, one a Kubrick movie parody, one about Homer traveling between different versions of his family, and one about a hellish version of Springfield Elementary.  Except for the order, they match up perfectly.  Since The Simpsons always takes precedence over Zombie Simpsons, we’re going to follow the order from “Treehouse of Horror V”.

“The Shinning” vs. “A Clockwork Yellow”

Like most big name directors, Stanley Kubrick made some great movies and some crappy movies.  From a parody and satire point of view, however, what made his films great was the sheer number of iconic and memorable characters, images, and lines.  Whether it’s the Monolith, Jack Nicholson hacking his way through a door, or Malcolm McDowell and his gang strutting down the street in suspenders, bowler hats, and cod pieces, Kubrick movies are full of moments that stick in the audience’s mind, which makes them perfect for comedy.

The Simpsons exploited that all the time.  There’s Homer at the “Dawn of Man” in Lisa’s Pony; there’s Bart reaching for the cupcakes in “Duffless”, there’s Frink with the Strangelove glasses in “Homer Defined”.  “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming” not only features R. Lee Ermey from Full Metal Jacket, but even has a complete war room from Dr. Strangelove.  None of those defined an entire episode, they were just quick little things put in there for fans who cared to notice them.

“The Shinning”, the first segment from “Treehouse of Horror V”, was different in that it retold an entire movie.  All the major plot points and characters from the 144 minute film are condensed into just seven minutes of screentime.  All by itself that’s damned impressive, but what turns it into a Simpsons masterpiece is the way that each thing they reproduce is recognizable as the original yet still creative and funny in its own way.  The blood spilling out of the elevator isn’t a moment of gore soaked terror, it’s a ho-hum hotel regularity, no more interesting than fresh towels or the luggage carts in lobby.  It just usually gets off at the second floor.

The hedge maze, the ghostly bartender, Homer getting locked in the fridge, the typewriter being a window into madness, even Bart’s titular “shinning” and Willie’s failed rescue attempt, these are all recognizable to anyone who has seen the film and each is given its little twist.  But, and this is crucial, no one needs to have seen the movie to get any of them.  It helps, sure, but you don’t need it.  Homer declining his Nicholson destiny (“Can’t murder now, eating”) is funny all on its own.  The references to the film augment the story and the jokes, not the other way around.

The same cannot be said for “A Clockwork Yellow”, which reads like mismatched excerpts from a Kubrick film guide.  This is plenty apparent right at the beginning, where pretty much everything is a weird and senseless reenactment of A Clockwork Orange.  Moe has a gang just like Malcolm McDowell did.  But where McDowell’s gang turns on him for being a crappy leader; Moe’s gang turns on him just because that’s what’s supposed to happen.  Not only is it reductive rather than creative, but weak references are left to stand alone.

Remember this part of that one movie?  Yeah.  Cool.  Well, good talk.

Consider what is maybe the most famous scene from A Clockwork Orange: McDowell with his eyes propped open, forced to watch terrible things so that he won’t ever do them again.  In “A Clockwork Yellow”, Moe wears a similar contraption, but he’s doing it for no discernible reason:

Moe: These eye clamps are the only way I can tolerate today’s TV.
Announcer: Tonight on FOX!
Moe: Ahh, turn it off, I’ll be good.  I’ll be good!

If there is a joke in the final line (debatable), its premise is completely negated by the first.  If he’s wearing it voluntarily, it makes no sense for him to beg to have the TV turned off.  The sad reality is that he’s only wearing them because you can’t use A Clockwork Orange as your source material without someone getting their eyes propped open; setups, punchlines, and common sense be damned.

See, Zombie Simpsons?  It’s not hard to work this in and have it make sense.  It’s really not.

This complete dependency on making references is shaky enough early on, but the segment collapses completely at the end when the show just blows through references as fast as it can.  There’s the guy from Full Metal Jacket, there’s a thing that – again for no discernible reason – looks briefly like the Monolith, there’s some dudes dressed like they’re in Barry Lyndon, there’s a bunch of naked people like in Eyes Wide Shut.  And that’s it.  There’s no coherence, no jokes, no indication whatsoever that the writers have taken something, parodied it, and made it their own.  They’re just showing you stuff you’re supposed to recognize.  It’s less a television segment than it is a police lineup.

“Time and Punishment”  vs. “The Others”

Despite the fact that one of these is about time travel and the other is about ghosts, the basic concepts here are very similar.  In each case, we see different versions of the Simpson family.  Like the Kubrick mess, however, the transparent thinness of Zombie Simpsons is immediately apparent.

In “The Others”, the old ghost-Simpsons just stand around and don’t really do anything.  Ghost-Marge gets the hots for Homer, and they spend basically the entire segment stretching that piece of nothing far past its breaking point.  Ghost-Homer eventually gets around to killing regular Homer, but not until after he’s stood around and not done anything for a good long time.  Once Homer is dead, ghost-Homer goes back to not doing anything.

Their habit of having most of the family just sort of stand there (ghost-Lisa literally doesn’t get even a single line) carries all the way through to the end when, in a desperate bid for internet attention (and how sad is that?), they create more versions of the family to stand there.  For starters, this has nothing to do with the rest of the segment we just saw.  The house was haunted, so older versions of the family appeared.  Now a bunch of randoms show up because . . . well, just because, that’s why.  If this was funny or joke filled, that’d be one thing, but it’s just more unsupported references.

They can’t stand this any longer.  Somebody please pay attention to them!  

“Time and Punishment” takes the idea of multiple different versions of the Simpsons seriously.  We see them not only as rich and perfect (in a world Homer doesn’t know rains donuts), we see them as obedient to Flanders (the unquestioned lord and master of the world), we see them as giants and with lizard tongues.  Each incarnation is very brief (much shorter than the “The Others”), yet the whole family is given things to do, lines to say (even Maggie!), and we get a glimpse of each world Homer visits in just a few seconds.

There aren’t any orphaned references, either.  When the episode runs through all those versions of the Simpson home, including underwater, the Flintstone’s house, Sphinx-Bart, and a fairy tale inspired giant shoe, not only is it lightning fast, but it fits with what Homer’s doing.  Because the writers bothered to show us several fleshed out parallel worlds already, the quick references to others add to that instead of being something tacked on to fill screen time (like a bunch of other Simpson families standing on the lawn for no reason).

“Nightmare Cafeteria” vs. “School Is Hell”

The main axiom of Springfield Elementary on The Simpsons is that it’s a waste of time and nobody wants to be there.  The students don’t learn much (even the likes of Martin and Lisa learn and excel more out of the classroom than in) and the teachers don’t care, but everyone has to show up, so they do.  In its own way, it’s already a kind of hell, so making it somehow worse for Halloween takes some imagination.

“Nightmare Cafeteria” pulled it off by taking the grim realities of normal episode Springfield Elementary and taking them to insanely logical Halloween episode extremes.  It’s one of the only Treehouse of Horror segments that doesn’t involve anything supernatural and that’s part of what makes it so great.  The faculty crosses over from merely being apathetic and passively hostile towards the students into murderous cannibalism . . . but they do so because of budget cuts.  Authority figures devouring children because they couldn’t make decent sloppy joes any other way, it’s hard to think of a more Simpsons concept than that.

Sloppy Jimobs are pretty damned horrifying.

By contrast, Zombie Simpsons not only doesn’t do that, they actually make Springfield Elementary nicer and more pleasant than it normally is.  I’m going to repeat that because it is an unusually clear example of just how witless and unmoored this show is.  They made the school in Hell more fun and enjoyable than the one on Earth.

As with so many Zombie Simpson ideas, it could’ve actually been interesting if it wasn’t done in the shallowest imaginable way.  But they didn’t go for “Earth is Hell” style irony, or even a particularly inventive version of Hell.  They just recreated Springfield Elementary with funkier looking students and flames outside the windows.  Even the Skinner-Chalmers monster is less evil than the two of them usually are.  Can you imagine the real Chalmers saying this?:

Hell Chalmers: As educators, our job is to gently nurture your child’s passion.

It’s sincere, it’s genuine, and it means he actually cares about Bart!  It’s antithetical to everything Chalmers is and does.  Again, had they made that sort of the point (Hell Chalmers is a better educator than real Chalmers), it could’ve worked, but two layer thinking is way too deep for Zombie Simpsons.  Instead, we get a montage before Homer shows up to be tortured for some reason.  There are a couple of chuckles in there (Yankees class, for example), which makes it the strongest segment of an anemically weak episode, but even in Hell the bright and sunny attitude of Zombie Simpsons makes everything simple, shallow, and harmless.

Halloween will always be better served by the Skinner who condemns a kid to suffocation for a paper airplane (even before he starts eating them) than by one who wants Bart to achieve his full potential.  The same goes for Simpson family members who are twisted and weird rather than still and silent.  Ditto thoughtlessly repetitive Kubrick references vis-a-vis full blooded (and full bodied) satire.

Twenty years on, there are reasons “Treehouse of Horror V” often tops Halloween lists.  “Treehouse of Horror XXV” will be lucky to even be remembered.

“I’m going to write a figure on this piece of paper.  It’s not quite as large as the last one, but I think you’ll find it fair.” – C.M. Burns
“I think we should take it.” – Lionel Hutz

There were two big Simpsons news stories this week.  First, the “Simpsons World” app/website finally launched.  I took a quick look, but it spent lots of time buffering and seemed to be struggling under launch-day loads, so I’ll come back to that next week.  (We do have quite a few links about it, however.)  The second was that an actor who played a minor character in Goodfellas is suing the show for [Dr. Evil pinky] two-hundred-and-fifty-million-dollars [/Dr. Evil pinky] because Legs looks like him.  It doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell, and even if they someone convince FOX to pay them (which would be very un-FOX like), it’ll be a teeny tiny fraction of that.  Yet for some reason this hopelessly longshot lawsuit got tons of press.  It was linked all over the place, with plenty of them just mindlessly repeating the big scary number.  We’ve got a link, but there’s basically nothing to it.

More importantly, Halloween is next week, and the annual crush of costumes (and tattoos!) has begun.  There are some really good ones in our first link, and there’s more where that came from.  And, of course, there’s lots of other random items as well: the Homer computer doll with infrared eyes, Harry Shearer just being himself, Jean dutifully slogging through another interview, a decidedly unlicensed music video, and much more.

Enjoy.

Classic Simpsons Trivia Chicago Costume Contest 2014 – I put this up on Twitter, but it’s really worth a look.  I can see why the Clown Bed won, but Dr. Hillbilly and the Iron Yuppie should’ve at least gotten some kind of couples or group costume award.  Ashley Grant and the Luann in her jacuzzi suit are also pretty damned awesome.

Never miss an episode with smart Homer Simpson – This is awesome.  Someone took a Homer doll, slapped some electronics into it, and now it automatically turns on the doll’s eyes whenever the show is on.  Bravo, tech geeks.  Bravo.

5-sentence review of ‘The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror XXV’ – Heh:

The appearance of the Simpsons characters as the originally appeared in animated shorts on “The Tracey Ullman Show” is proof that even “The Simpsons” is nostalgic for the pre-dull “The Simpsons.”

Good one.

The Simpsons in Retrospect – A thorough breakdown of the decline of the show that includes a chart of the ever declining popular opinion of the show.

How Harry Shearer Discovered the Soul of Richard Nixon – There’s a little bit of Simpsons stuff in here, Shearer calls Burns more purely evil than Nixon, but this is my favorite part:

MJ: Is there any other president you’d like to play?
HS: Well, I’ve, on my radio show I’ve played every one since—
MJ: How’s your Garfield?
HS: Poor. But who’s to know?

Ha!  Shearer is the best.

Counting Down To Halloween With The Simpsons #1 – These are a series of posts about just what makes the Treehouse of Horror episodes so great.

Counting Down To Halloween With The Simpsons #2 – This one’s about Marge’s warnings before the first ones.  It’s good to remember this:

What few people realize however is that in the very first Treehouse of Horror this warning was not a gag or gimmick as it became later but was meant to be taken seriously. In 2014 The Simpsons have pretty much become part of the furniture in western society so its easy to forget that when it first aired in 1989 it was a highly controversial show.

I’d say it’s still a gag, even if, yes, it was meant to actually deflect anger.  But that speaks to the brilliance of the show: they knew they were going to piss people off, so why not pre-ignore them as well?

Counting Down To Halloween With The Simpsons #3 – Amusing tombstones.

Counting Down To Halloween With The Simpsons #4 – Scary credits.

DisfiguredStick – Milhouse – That is a great Milhouse costume, and the backpack is a nice touch.

It’s Never Too Late to be Marge Simpson – Husband and wife go as Homer and Marge.  Great wig.

Essential Halloween Viewing – “Treehouse of Horror V” makes the list here, along with several other old cartoon specials.  I actually remember that episode of Ghostbusters.

Top 10 TV Halloween Specials – V and VI make this list.

Goodfellas Actor’s $250 Million Lawsuit Against The Simpsons – This looks like a hopeless attempt to squeeze some money from FOX.  The headline number is just there for press attention, which it got a ton of.  (Thanks to Rob K. for sending it in.)

Poochie? That you? – An ad for hot dogs with a serious Poochie look alike.  Nice find.

Do You Even Stretch Bro? Stretching and the gym. – Exercise advice for when you go to the all night gym.

Top Man Simpsons Prints – High fashion Simpsons stuff is no longer just for the ladies.

On this day in history… – Celebrating the anniversary of “Rosebud”.  Go to hell, you old bastard.

Things Get Violently “Simpsons”-Like In Girl Talk’s New Video – Indeed they do:

“Suicide (Remix)” is the latest video to come from the collaboration between mash-up artist-turned-beatmaker Girl Talk and journeyman rapper Freeway. In it, artist Lisa Ramsey unleashes a violent stream of animated mayhem that was clearly, ahem, inspired by The Simpsons. The colorful pastiche puts shotgun-toting Bart Simpson and Milhouse van Houten on skateboards–and the skateboards themselves are about as far as the faithfulness goes. By the time a fully grown and blessed out Lisa makes the scene, sway-dancing while puffing on a joint–it’s clear that we’re worlds away from Springfield. Still, it’s mandatory viewing for anyone who has ever wanted to see the sailboat painting from the Simpsons’ living room attain sentence and spit bars.

Don’t forget the daggers that come out of Krusty’s eyes.  Video at the link.

How Do I Get The Simpsons World FXX App? Everything You Need To Know. – I’d quibble with “Everything”, there, but the main outline seems solid.

Simpsons World: A Streaming Archive of American History – A hands on look at the site.

‘Simpsons’ go streaming: Al Jean talks new site – Jean doing a publicity interview.  No real news, but he was talking to CNN, so that goes almost without saying.

How ‘Simpsons World’ Went from Deal Point to Immersive App Via FX Networks – Apparently Brooks insisted that if they were going to sell streaming rights, the streaming had to be something special.  Of course, this is Variety and it uses phrases like this, “The app…allows lean-in users to customize their searches”, so take it with ten thousand grains of salt.  (I’m not sure what marketing dictionary “lean-in users” came from, but please put it to the torch immediately.  Thank you.)

Catching Up With The First Family Of TV – This is a nice writeup of how one guy came back to the show through the marathon.  It’s also yet another example of how gun shy people are about bringing up Zombie Simpsons.  Every example he cites is from early in the show, and there’s even this:

Every episode ever. Whatever you want to watch. Not sure if your in the mood for season 3 or 17? Hit random and maybe you’ll get something nice from season 6.

Season 17 is a wasteland, Seasons 3 and 6 are not, but to say so explicitly is to invite trouble when all you want to do is relax and laugh.  I get it.  I just wish it wasn’t so prevalent.

Embiggened: Here’s a Look at “Simpsons World” From A-Z (GQ) – An alphabetical list of stuff on the site, like the above link, mentions only stuff from non-Zombie Simpsons seasons.

Some Changes Need to be Made to Simpsons World – Seems like they’ve still got some kinks to iron out:

However, there is one change that needs to be made and it needs to be made immediately.
The placement of commercials is goofy. Last night while watching “A Star is Burns” I was awaiting my favorite quote from the episode when Hans Moleman says “I was saying boo-urns.” I love that quote and say it all the time.
What I got was Moleman saying “I was saying boo” cut to a commercial “oo-urns”.
Now while watching “You only move twice” I was greeted with a commercial, in the middle of the opening title sequence.
During “Lard of the Dance” I saw a commercial in the middle of a sceen.

Get your spook on: Hallowe’en flash sheets in Brighton and beyond – Some cool Simpsons Halloween themed tattoo designs.

Tattoo Artist Turns Bart Simpson Into Horror Icons! – These are from a different source, and they’re all Bart.  Candyman and Beetlejuice are pretty cool.  More at his website.

Stark Raving Dad Episode #036 – Ash starts in on Season 3.

The 10 Greatest Simpsons Horror Movie Parodies – There’s one from Zombie Simpsons at #10, almost out of pity.

When you get the last slice, you be all like… – Animated .gif of Bart laughing after Homer brings him pizza in “Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie”.

New trending GIF tagged tv the simpsons eating… – Homer snacking while watching football.

New trending GIF tagged horror cartoon simpsons marge… – Marge’s hair exploding into bats.

The Simpsons has now officially been bad for longer than it was ever good – And finally (via @dailysimpsons), I get to not only end with someone who agrees with us, but it’s even in a real publication:

The first segment took the Simpson family to Hell: a city, it seems, very much like Springfield. It was amusing to begin with, but soon pointlessly repeated itself. The last segment had the family confronted by doubles of themselves: a comment, I think, on the endless proliferation of Simpson images and on the repetition compulsion referenced above. The middle segment — well, I can’t tell you about the middle segment because I’ve forgotten it already. Honestly.

[...]

The Simpsons has now been bad for longer than it was good, but when it was good it was great. Television has never provided as many inspired jokes per minute, sometimes per second, as The Simpsons did; has never been as consistently, ruthlessly, creatively
irreverent as The Simpsons was. It taught a generation to revere wit and to distrust authority, two hugely important achievements. Now the irreverence has shrunk to mere random rudeness, and the jokes are flabby and far between. Everything’s gone slack.

Testify!

“They are all against you, Bart.  You must kill them all.  They all must die.” – House
“Are you my conscience?” – Bart Simpson
“I-…yes, I am.” – House

Happy birthday Nancy Cartwright!

“Homer, just give him the donut!  Once he has it, that will be the end of all this horror.” – Marge Simpson
“Well, okay.  If it’ll end horror. . . . Don’t you ever get tired of being wrong all the time?”
“Sometimes.” – Marge Simpson

Happy birthday Dan Castellaneta!  

“What’s your favorite subject?” – Dr. Hibbert
“Arithmetic.” – Lisa Simpson 
“Oh, arithmetic.  Now, before you know it, you will be back among your polygons, your hypotenuse, and your Euclidean algorithms.” – Dr. Hibbert 

As an academic subject, math has always stood at the extreme end, as the hardest of the “hard” sciences.  Even physics has uncertainty built right into it; math simply has things that have not yet been proven.  That’s all well and good for mathematicians when it comes to inter-disciplinary dick measuring contests, but it also makes math more abstract and difficult to explain to the uninitiated.  Worse still, that very “purity” makes math more resistant to analogy and simplification than any other field of study because the big things in math are irreducibly incomprehensible.

The physics of a black hole, the biochemistry of a chameleon, the geology of a volcano, years of study and graduate degrees lend the best possible understanding of them, but the basics can be grasped by anyone.  Textbooks, TV specials, and museum exhibits can contain simple diagrams and awe-inspiring pictures that make even hideously complicated events and processes seem kindergarten simple.  Math is too abstract for that kind of stuff.  You can come up with pretty visualizations of prime numbers, for example, but someone who doesn’t have a day-to-day familiarity with them or their underlying concepts isn’t going to understand it in the least.  Prime numbers can’t be analogized to anything else, nor can they be simplified (almost by definition), you simply have to use them a lot to really get them, and most people don’t.

That abstract unfamiliarity has always been the great bane of popular writing about math.  The most fundamental concepts exist only on sheets of paper or inside someone else’s mind, so all an expert writing for a lay audience can do is cite fun examples and hope that at least some of them click.  Wisely, Simon Singh’s The Simpsons And Their Mathematical Secrets follows exactly that template, and does so rather well.

The book isn’t a grand explanation of math or its history, it’s a collection of math concepts and back-stories that have surfaced in The Simpsons or Futurama over the years.  Singh naturally focuses on the many writers (of both shows) who have serious academic credentials, and we even get pictures of both Al Jean and Mike Reiss with their high school math clubs.

The best parts of the book are the ones that directly combine the shows and the numbers.  For example, in the chapter about pi, there’s a long discussion of Apu testifying against Marge in “Marge in Chains”.  When Apu says that he can recite pi to forty-thousand places, that was indeed the record for memorization of pi at the time.

Further, and I certainly didn’t know this, the 40,000th digit really is 1.  They literally sent away to a guy at NASA, who printed out the whole thing and mailed it to them.  (That, in turn, was referenced in “22 Short Films About Springfield”, when Moe sent away to NASA to calculate Barney’s bar tab.)  There’s a whole chapter about the various equations and numbers that pop up in the “Homer3″ segment of “Treehouse of Horror VI”, and another dedicated to the smart kids in “Bart the Genius”.

Later in the book, Singh gets into Futurama and the many (many) math heavy jokes, references, and even entire plots they went through.  Like The Simpsons sections, some of these are dedicated to the general nerdery of the show, while others are about specific concepts and equations.  The best of them is about “The Prisoner of Benda”, the episode that famously led Ken Keeler to write a proof of the “brain switching” problem the writers created for themselves.  It’s a really clear explanation, and there’s even a picture of Keeler standing on the office couch, scribbling away on a white board.

Since the book is by necessity somewhat scattershot in the subjects it can broach, some parts are weaker than others.  In particular, one of the longest chapters in the book is little more than a rehash of Moneyball, (based on that crashingly dull Zombie Simpsons episode “MoneyBART“).  True, there’s math and the Simpsons here; but when the text gets to the 2002 Yankees buying up all the players, it’s wandered pretty far from the subject at hand.

Happily, though, most of the chapters are much shorter and on point.  The trickier concepts are explained cleanly, and illustrated where necessary or possible.  And Singh manages to walk the line of keeping the tone light while simultaneously keeping the math serious.  You can always tell someone is a real math and/or programming geek when they start things with 0 instead of 1, as confusing as that is to most people.  But while this book starts with “Chapter 0″, it also has an “Eπlogue”, and that balance is maintained throughout.

All in all, it’s a short and easy read that will either introduce (or refresh) a lot of mathematical ideas for casual readers.  And along the way you’ll even learn some Simpsons and Futurama trivia, what’s not to like?

Note: Thanks go to Diana Morgan at Ruth Killick Publicity for sending me a copy all the way from merry old England.

“What kind of show you got for us, Mr. Burns?” – Reporter
“Well, the ape’s going to stand around for three hours or so.  Then we’ll close with the ethnic comedy of Dugan and Dershowitz.” – C.M. Burns
“Sensational!” – Reporter

Happy Halloween, everybody!  This week we’ve got a bunch of Treehouse of Horror related links, include quite a few to people who decided to list individual segments.  As always, some are better than others and Zombie Simpsons only gets the occasional pity mention (if that).  In addition we’ve got some live sightings of Simpsons clothing, video game ideas, cool tattoos, and a new food blog.

Enjoy.

Patented Space-Age Out of This World Moon Waffles – Someone actually made them.  And it’s part of a new Simpsons food blog.  And that blog is called “Eats Like a Duck”.  Yes!

Along came these two cool dudes…. – Some truly excellent Simpsons tattoos, including donut-headed Homer, Kirk van Houten’s album, the Space Coyote, and Scrabble letters.

The Definitive List of the Best Simpsons Episodes Ever – This certainly isn’t definitive, but it’s a very good list and has lots of great YouTube.

Five Simpsons Games that Need to Get Made – The kart racing idea pops up from time to time, and done right it would be excellent and have tons of things that put the Luigi Stare to shame.

What Do You Think of the Simpsons World? – Let us hope that these things will be fixed:

Not all the features FXX promised are up and coming yet, the video playback is not quite as consistent as that of Netflix or HBOGo, and most importantly, the show isn’t screened in its original 4:3 ratio, cropping the older episodes and hurting many of the sight gags (fortunately, FXX has promised these problems will be resolved soon).

Have they actually said that they’re going to change the player to do 4:3?  I don’t think I’ve seen that anywhere, and they seem really wedded to everything being widescreen.

Simpsons World: Maybe Not The “Worst. App. Ever.” – One more very mixed review.

Does Anybody Want the Last Homer? – A clever cartoon, possibly from the Planet of the Donuts.

13 great Simpsons Treehouse Of Horror Halloween stories – The only thing from Zombie Simpsons is “Night of the Dolphin”, which I’ve always kinda liked, so hooray for this list.

The 9 Best Treehouse of Horror Segments According to Critics – Some schmuck from NPR picked a Zombie Simpsons segment, but other than that this one is great.

Top 5 Halloween TV Episodes – Wisely, the kids at the University of Arizona didn’t try to cram all the Treehouse of Horrors in, they just said watch ‘em.

Spooky Wednesday List: Top 5 Halloween Specials – This one just recommends “Treehouse of Horror V”, but sagely points out that there are many more.

Big Ten Power Poll: The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Edition – Two of these are from Zombie Simpsons, but it’s mostly very good.  (And, dear god, does Michigan need access to a time machine.)

The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe – It just wouldn’t be Halloween without Poe, James Earl Jones, and The Simpsons.

Subsequently Strange – A top five list of Treehouse segments, with nary a trace of Zombie Simpsons.  Bravo.

Where Have I Seen Dan Castellaneta? All His Non-Simpsons Acting. – Shame on you, Uproxx, you neglected to include his stint as the very Hibbert like “Dr. Stein” on Arrested Development.

All 25 ‘Treehouse Of Horror’ Episodes Of ‘The Simpsons,’ Ranked – Better, Uproxx, better.  Though why you ranked this year’s above “X” or “XI” is beyond me.

Halloween 2014: The best Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episodes to watch this Halloween – There’s one Zombie Simpsons episode in here for some reason, but other than that it’s solid.

Now that it’s happened how do we hide the fact that it’s happened? – Bad husbanding, here:

Apparently when your pregnant wife tells you to hold her drink while she goes to the toilet you’re supposed to drink it, not stand there like an idiot and return it in its undisturbed state. This happened to me more than once. I’m pretty sure that Jo viewed me like this scene from The Simpsons.

Heh.

New breed of dolphins venture on land in hunt for food – The dolphin apocalypse is still a long way off, but you can’t talk about them eating on land without mentioning that one segment from Season 12 (with .gif).

Today on the tray: Greasy foods – Apparently last Saturday was Greasy Foods Day.  Dr. Nick approves.

Enjoying a Beer With Irish Zombies on the Boardwalk: A Quick Recap of the Last Five Days – Now that’s truly scarifying:

I took a vacation day to await the arrival of my new pantry. David Henne told me that was the least manly reason to take a day off from work, but I think that’s hyperbole. Maybe it would’ve been more acceptable if I spent the day watching 10-15 episodes of The Simpsons, but the best my DVR had to offer was latter-day “Treehouse of Horror” episodes.

Classic Vintage “The Simpsons” Neck Tie – That’s actually a pretty good Simpsons tie, what with it having just the kids and an actual pattern on it.

It’s a Simpson’s Family Pizza Dinner – Lego Simpsons sitting down to eat.

Artist creates comic posters titled ‘Homerization': Indianised version of Homer from Simpsons – And lots of them.

When Flanders Failed – Episode #038 – Ash is back on his game with a twofer this week.

Bart The Murderer – Episode #039 – Nobody ever said Homer was a good parent:

Two things I noticed during the scene with Bart’s room being stocked with cigarettes due to his boss’ warehouse being full:
1. How did that amount of cigarettes get into the house without anyone even noticing? That was until Homer walked by and
2. How does making Bart smoke every single cigarette teach him a lesson? What lesson was Homer trying to teach him here? How to smoke?

The life of a Writer … – Heh.

#TBT post – Simpson fashion in the wild at Universal Studios.

New trending GIF tagged tv television the simpsons… – Teacher.  Mother.  Secret Lover.

New trending GIF tagged cartoon loop the simpsons… – Homer, trying to see what Bart wrote on the back of his skull.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons nicki minaj… – Skinner tying his shoe, and the Sir Mix-A-Lot subtitle is great.

“Hooray!” – Principal Skinner
“Yaaaay!  You dream about this day for so long, then when it comes, you don’t know what to say.” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Edna, your tears say more than words ever could.” – Principal Skinner
“Military school?” – Bart Simpson

Marcia Wallace would’ve been 72 today.  Happy birthday.

Lisa brings in Assemblywoman Maxine Lombard (guest voice Jane Fonda) to put a stop to Mr. Burns’ fracking operation, but is taken aback when the two political opponents find themselves attracted to one another.

Oh boy, a politically charged episode guest starring Jane Fonda.  Also if the above picture is accurate, then implications of dry, wrinkly sex are sure to be abound.

“Leave it to good old Mary Bailey to finally step in and do something about that hideous genetic mutation.” – Marge Simpson

This week on Zombie Simpsons, Burns does something we saw him do much funnier twenty years ago, but he also falls in love and becomes a softy for a while.  In between, Patty and Selma live with the Simpsons for a while, Marge, Lisa and Smithers vanish for most of the episode, Homer gets another new job, and there’s a big explosion.

- No couch gag this week, so what they left in must be pure gold!

- Marge is buttering Homer up with pork chops because Patty & Selma need a place to stay.  If you guessed that Patty & Selma weren’t in the house right up until they mysteriously appeared in the house as if by transporter, you win absolutely nothing.

- Homer is repeating the word “teensy” for some reason.  I guess that got a big laugh at the table read?

- So the conflict here is that Patty & Selma aren’t supposed to smoke in the house.  Homer has put smoke detectors all over the place to catch them.  Then it starts raining instantly so they can’t go outside.  The instant rain thing was funny in “Bart the Murderer” because it was a joke.  Here it’s a plot crutch for an already nonsensically weak plot.  It won’t be the last.

- Hey, a decent sign gag that didn’t get read out load “Once Your Lungs Go Black, They Never Go Back”.

- They put a new bathroom in the house for no discernible reason.  It’s under the stairs because Patty & Selma were by the stairs.  They want to smoke there because, for some other indiscernible reason, Homer didn’t put smoke detectors in the bathroom.  This show cannot even maintain a joke, much less a story.  It’d almost be impressive in its sloppiness if we hadn’t seen it so many times before.

- Hey, look, the main story has arrived!  The water in the bathroom caught on fire.

- Lisa just scrolled over a bunch of movies titles on her tablet.  They were supposed to be depressing documentaries, so most of them were just “noun of death”.

- Hey, it’s a joke free explanation of fracking.  I love it when they pre-explain things.

- So, Lisa and Bart just teleported into the Rich Texan’s office where she exposited for a while, before he told us he was going to dance, then danced.  I realize that sentence makes no sense to anyone who hasn’t seen this episode, but, trust me, you’re not missing anything.

- Lisa discovers there’s a fracking site in the neighborhood by looking at a satellite picture.  Why?  Because they’re keeping people away with a sign that says “Women’s Basketball Hall of Fame”.  How did she never notice this building that is in her neighborhood?  Don’t ask.  But they compound it by having her praise women’s basketball, which makes the whole thing make even less sense.

- Also too, the kids just walked into the building.  Then Burns and Smithers pull up in a cart and Burns begins explaining things to Lisa.  Is there any reason for him to do this?  No.  Is it the opposite of something Burns would actually do?  Yes.

- Lisa then exposits the existence of Maxine Lombard, a Nancy Pelosi type voiced by Jane Fonda.  I miss Mary Bailey.

- After a really boring and repetitive hearing, Burns just barged into her office for a slow, cliche filled fall in love moment between Burns and Not Pelosi.  They apparently slept on the floor under a flag for some reason.

- Hey, how about another non-sequitor?  Now Burns needs to buy the mineral rights under Evergreen Terrace.  How do we know this?  Because he just told us.  Does it have anything to do with his romance with whatshername?  Of course not.  Jebus this script is sloppy.

- And, right on cue, Burns picks Homer to be his salesman.

- We then get a series of quick cuts of Homer being good at his new job.  It ate some time.

- Marge and Lisa are opposed to this, of course, with Marge reminding that “the water was on fire”.  She will be saying this a lot.

- Homer wins some kind of debate with Frink (don’t ask) and now everyone has sold their mineral rights.  Burns, being Zombie Burns, has second thoughts and asks Homer for relationship advice.

- Homer has the “signed gas leases”, which are all complete except for Marge’s signature not being on one.  This somehow comes as a surprise during a ceremony to turn on the fracking.  Then Burns and whatshername have a breakup as cliched and nonsensical as when they got together.  Also, Smithers is back after a long and unexplained absence.

- Burns was going to fire Homer, but now they’re talking about relationships again.  Then a wrecking ball breaks into Burns Manor because whatshername decided to . . . you know what?  Screw this.  It’s too weird and nonsensical even to recap.

- Hey, there’s an NPR guy who shows up, tells us his name, and then wanders off.

- Now Burns and Homer are turning the fracking machine back on out of revenge or something.

- Want to know what’s happening?  The show will gladly tell you:

Marge: Is one of the side effects of fracking earthquakes?
Lisa: Yes.

Glad we cleared that up.

- Jane Fonda just showed back up out of nowhere

- And Marge just repeated the water thing for the sixth time or so.  Oh, and now Homer’s burning down the fracking thingie and it explodes.

- Because the ending was apparently not explained enough already, Burns is helpfully expositing it some more.

- And it ends with Burns and whatshername in bed being boring to run out the clock.  What a mess.

Anyway, the numbers are in and, sans football, they are expectedly terrible.  Just 4.24 million people wished they were seeing Burns run his Slant Drilling Company again.  That’s the lowest of the young season and good for #7 on the all time least watched list.

There’s a very clear dichotomy now between the weeks when FOX has a late NFL game and when they don’t.  The three episodes this year with a football lead were watched by 8.50 million, 7.34 million, and 7.64 million viewers.  The two episodes without a football lead in were watched by 4.32 and 4.24 million viewers.  FOX does have a late national game next week for the Futurama crossover, so I fearlessly predict that episode will get somewhere in the 7 million viewers range.  And while I’m still expecting the renewal notice any day, the show clearly can’t stand on its own anymore.

“Oil, ho!” – Slant Drilling Worker
“Huzzah!” – C.M. Burns

“Opposites A-Frack” offers more than a few opportunities for comparing and contrasting.  Burns falls in love again, Homer gets a new job again, Burns asks Homer for romantic advice again.  I even briefly contemplated comparing it to those episodes on 30 Rock where hyper-capitalist Alec Baldwin has a secret affair with ultra-liberal Congresswoman Edie Falco, just for a change of pace.  But Burns drilling for gas underneath Springfield is too on the nose from “Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 1″ to pass up.

In both episodes, Burns is drilling into the Earth so that his mighty apparatus will burst forth with precious fluid.  But each episode handles him, his plan, and those around him very differently.  For a quick illustrative example, here’s Burns after Bart and Lisa walk into his unguarded fracking facility this week:

Lisa: This whole building is just a facade for a drilling operation.
Burns: Indeed it is.  Evergreen Terrace is built atop a massive shale deposit.

In addition to being phenomenally lazy script writing, this is also the complete opposite of the Burns we know and love/hate.  Real Burns doesn’t explain his evil plans to 8-year-old girls who break into his secret facilities.  Quite the opposite.  Real Burns builds secret drilling facilities and lets the townspeople find out only when they go to turn on their own well:

Burns: That’s it, frimble about with your widgets and dobobs.  It’ll all be a monument to futility when my plan comes to fruition.

Look at that quote!  He isn’t merely content to drill for oil and screw over everyone else, he’s also gleefully anticipating the moment when his plan will dash their hopes.  That’s Burns at his evil best.

Moreover, Burns’ plan, both the drilling and the eventual sun blocker, don’t require him to do anything as patently stupid and self defeating as relying on Homer Simpson.  Season 26 Burns, of course, does exactly that.  Not only does he ask Homer to get the mineral rights contracts signed, but he compounds his mistake by trusting that Homer did it instead of making sure.

That last part is especially un-Burns-like because Burns himself is the one who discloses that not all the signatures are there.  What!?  Can you imagine Season 6 Burns stopping his drilling operation because he and only he noticed that one signature was missing?  If anything, breaking the law without anyone knowing would appeal to him.

The watered down Burns of “Opposites A-Frack” isn’t remotely the kind of distilled malevolence of the Burns in “Who Shot Mr. Burns?”, but Zombie Simpsons wants us to still think of him like he is.  When, after his grossly out of character explanation to Lisa, Burns refers to the houses on Evergreen Terrace as “shanties and lean-tos”, we’re supposed to laugh at the contempt he has for regular people.  But the contempt isn’t there anymore because we just saw him pop-up out of nowhere to help Lisa understand things.

A similar hollowing out affects poor Smithers.  In “Who Shot Mr. Burns?”, he becomes increasingly conflicted about Burns crossing over from every day villainy into cartoonish super-villainy.  We see his qualms grow alongside the drilling operation (look at him in that picture at the top), and the sun blocker finally breaks him.  In “Opposites A-Frack”, Smithers basically vanishes for the entire episode.  It’s not as jarring as when characters appear for no reason, but unexplained disappearances happen almost as often.

Consider that when Bart and Lisa easily walk into the “secret” drilling facility, Smithers just stands there.  By the time Burns gets to that pointless committee hearing, Smithers isn’t even there.  Nor is he present when Burns barges into whatshername’s office.  Smithers is there when Burns selects Homer as his salesman, but literally doesn’t say a single word.  He is similarly absent when Burns asks Homer for romantic advice, both in his office and then again back at Burns Manor, which is even weirder because he’s at the door and then vanishes again.

Smithers . . . No Smithers.

Why did the man who never leaves Burns’ side disappear into thin air?  The next scene is Burns asking Homer for advice, and Smithers wasn’t required.  As usual, Zombie Simpsons forgets anything that isn’t happening right now.

Finally, in both episodes Burns drilling causes an earthquake.  The Simpsons handles it by having Grampa jump out of bed, shout “Earthquake!”, and then stand in his doorway while the entire Retirement Castle falls into a sinkhole.  The old people can’t do anything but call for the nurse.

Compare that to Zombie Simpsons, where, after a lot of pointless rumbling, Bart and Milhouse both fall out of the treehouse, while Lisa stands there waiting for her Etch-a-Sketch erases itself.  Then, in case we didn’t know what was going on, we get one of those oh-so redundant pieces of Zombie Simpson exposition:

Marge: Is one of the side effects of fracking earthquakes?
Lisa: Yes.

One is quick and punctuated with a joke.  The other is slow and punctuated with an explanation.

Season 6 Burns has a diabolical plan that he springs unexpectedly and sees all the way through.  Around him, his henchmen and his victims are their normal, hilarious selves.  Season 26 Burns has a dumb plan, explains it patiently, and then bungles it himself.  Around him, the show has to essentially airbrush Smithers out of the episode and constantly tell us what’s going on.  You can build great television around the real Burns, but you can’t even come close with the vacuous shell Zombie Simpsons has made of him.

“My only hope is this homemade Prozac . . . Hmm, needs more ice cream.” – Homer Simpson

I’ve long been of the belief that the stuff ordinary fans come up with is far, far superior to all that crappy merchandise FOX allows to be pumped out.  This week we have several kick ass examples, including two that you can eat, a cake and a chocolate Homer.  In addition to that, we’ve got a couple of election related links, the original Monkey’s Paw, a couple of lists and a Lego Flanders.

Enjoy.

The Simpson’s Ralph Wiggum Cut-Out Cake – Pictures of that Ralph Wiggum cake that went slightly viral this week in all phases of its construction.  Excellent.

“You call that a knife”: Knifey Spoony now a real game…kinda – I put this up on Twitter earlier this week, but you really need to see it for yourself.  Someone went way above and beyond.  It’s fantastic.

Chalkboard Drawings: The “All Treehouse of Horror” edition – A teacher drew himself into Simpsons Halloween moments in chalk.  Cool.

Photo by henry_hargreaves_photo – Homer Simpson, frozen in chocolate carbonite.  Bravo!

Heroes of Cult: John Swartzwelder – He got a whole county named after him!

The Simpsons’ Halloween: Top 5 – There’s always a few stragglers, and there’s no Zombie Simpsons here.

Pic: This Ralph Wiggum protest banner from La Liga is just great – Indeed it is.  And there’s even a point to it!

Torcida faz protesto na Espanha fantasiada de Simpsons – And speaking of Spanish soccer and the show, this YouTube video from which I do not understand one word.  Lots of effort appears to have gone into both the banners and the costumes, though.

Blackney Spears – Heh.

You won’t believe how much these phone games make per day… – Sure I would.  Though according to these numbers, TSTO is way down in revenue.  A mere 157 ivory back-scratchers per day?  This time last year they were doing double that.

MATURE Cumming up Milhouse Bart Pinback Button Limited Edition – It’s just a button, but it involves Bart having a vagina and googly eyes, plus the birth of Milhouse.  You have been warned/intrigued.

The Monkey’s Paw by W.W. Jacobs – Want to read the original?  Here you go.

The Best Things About the 90’s – Of course the show is on here.  It couldn’t not be.

The Sea Captain syndrome – How is writer’s block like a casino pitch?  Find out!

Magnificent 7 – TV Kids – The Simpson kids make the cut.

5-sentence review of ‘The Simpsons: Opposites A-Frack’ – I really like these:

Anyway, I was, as usual, bored by an episode that feels like a lecture from somebody who listens to NPR than actual satire or comedy.

New trending GIF tagged black and white halloween… – The couch gag where they all run in as skeletons.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons time driving… – If only Lenny had someplace to be.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons jumping trampoline… – Bart will never get tired of this, and Lisa’s gonna have her wedding there.

Could You Go a Month without Social Media? – As explained with a couple of .gifs.

The Top 10 Simpsons Episodes – No Zombie Simpsons here, though you don’t often see “Simpsons Tide” on lists like these.

Hey-Diddly-Ho! – Flanders made out of Lego bricks.

Homer Simpson on Politics – Just like that rainforest scare . . .

Bart Simpson on Voting – The 2014 electorate wasn’t dead.  Getting there?  Sure.  But not yet.

Today on the tray: Vinegar – Heh.

Story of My Life – I think this almost every morning.

Evil Says “Excellent” – Burns on Tuesday’s results.

How many treehouses of horror do we need? – And finally, our old friend Stefen agrees with us:

In the older seasons, they’re the one time where the Simpsons universe gets to reject reality in the spirit of sending up various horror clichés and films. As the series wore on, however, the actual show began to lose touch with reality, becoming yet another cartoon, and in the same manner, the Treehouse of Horror specials became even more redundant.

Pretty much.

“Some Bart Simpson dolls!” – Fry
“Eat my shorts.” – Bart Simpson Doll
“Okay.   Mmm, shorts.” – Bender

Well, the Futurama crossover finally happened.  It had a few good jokes here and there, which is above average for Zombie Simpsons, but mostly it was a mess and suffered from the same kinds of crossover problems we all so recently suffered through with Family Guy: cramming in as many characters from Futurama as possible, whether or not putting them there is funny or necessary.  It’s a thing that happened, a little footnote to both shows that will never be confused with the cream of either canon.

- I love Hedonismbot, but that couch gag was way too long.  The tag “A Show Out of Ideas Teams Up With a Show Out of Episodes” is easily the best joke in the episode, though.

- We open with Skinner telling the students they have to put something in a time capsule.  Then Chalmers appears from nowhere to fire a spitwad at Skinner.  This is not a promising start.

- Chalmers just pulled a TV-VCR combo from out of nowhere.

- The time capsule ceremony was just interrupted by an instant rain storm for some reason.

- Bender just fell out of the sky during a thunderstorm.  Which lead to a full minute of Homer and Bart trying to find him in the basement.  They settled on hanging Bart upside down from a rope for some reason.  Then they pointlessly smacked him around for ten seconds.

- Now we’re at Moe’s.  Bender belched fire.

- The premise here is that Bender and Homer are friends.  It’s charming enough, though predictably dumb.

- Hey, how about some fan service?:

Lisa: You know, they look a little similar.
Bart: Yeah, like the guy who designed Bender just took a drawing of Dad and stuck an antenna on it.
Lisa: A little lazy, if you ask me.

- Lisa took Bender to see Frink.  Frink reboots Bender.  Now Bender’s supposed to kill Homer, who just showed up after not being there until now.

- Writing “Crossovers Are Hell” on the wall in the future was nice.  Even if it’s not funny for the reason they think it is.

- I guess it’s nice that these mutant rabbits are another nod to Groening, but color me unsurprised that they went with mass chaos for their crossover.

- More fourth wall jokes with Zoidberg.

- They had to get Fry and Leela (and the Professor) back in time somehow, I get that.  But it’s very out of character for Leela want to kill Homer.  Obviously she doesn’t actually do it, but it’s pretty weird nevertheless.

- Heh: “Okay, but remember, to me you’re incredibly stupid.”

- Hey, it’s Seymour!  The fan service is pointless and not that funny, but it’s easily the best part of this thing.

- Homer and Bender are asleep on the couch together for yet more fan service.

- Ugh, this scene where they’re trying to figure out who to kill really drags on.

- I get that crossover stories are weird, but having the plot keep popping out of Bender’s ass is still dumb.

- Case in point, now we’re flashing back to the beginning with the time capsule.  This isn’t that complicated, but we’re getting reminded of it just because.

- “In our time, Epcot Center is a work farm for the weak.”  That was funny.

- They drove to the time capsule and then Willie showed up for some reason.

- Bender’s ass just gave us our brief and pointless appearances from Amy and Scruffy.

- Everyone but Bender and Maggie just got sucked into the future for some reason.

- Oof, the animation on Homer strangling Bart here is really weird.  They drew Bart the same size as all the little creatures.

- It was weird for Leela to want to kill, but why on Earth would Marge think Homer can fix a generator in the future?

- And now Hedonismbot showed up again for some reason.

- I could cite a bunch of different examples, but if you want an idea of how much of a mess this episode is, just noodle this series of events:

Lisa: If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s manipulate Barts.
Bart: You’re nuts.  I’ve got a will of iron.
Leela: [Turns on Hypnotoad]

It’s doesn’t make sense, but it did cram something from Futurama in.

- Back in Springfield, Bender just blew up a racehorse.

- More pointless fan service: Lisa playing a holophoner.

- Oh, and all the Barts just got rounded up.

- Heh: “Wow, it’s working!  I guess the instructions were in English.”

- Now Bender just shuts himself down for 1000 years.

- I suppose Kang and Kodos needed to meet Lrrr and Ndnd.

- There are some good sign gags in this credit/opening sequence at the end, including a Stonecutter headquarters, “Eat My Shorts” written in the alien language, and Freeze Frame Industries.

Anyway, the numbers are in and I was apparently being too optimistic last week when I predicted 7 million viewers.  Even with the football lead in, just 6.59 million people wished they’d done this episode fifteen years ago.  FOX has a late national game again next week, but after that it’s two weeks with no late football.  I’ll be curious to see whether or not they even bother to broadcast new episodes.