“Mom!  We can go on the factory tour and I can complain in person!” – Lisa Simpson
“Honey, you’re not going to throw red paint at the executives, are you?  The Keebler people were very upset.” – Marge Simpson

Welcome to tonight’s open thread, or live blog, or live watch, or whatever it is we’re doing for the Season 5 episode “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy”.  The comment section is open, the Twitter hashtag is #NewHat, and feel free to quote things as you see fit.  Also, please tell us, during or after, how you think we can improve this.  As I said earlier in the week, I really don’t know how this wants to work or what I’m doing.  But it seems like there’s enough Simpsons fans on-line that watching together should be more fun than watching apart, and suggestions are welcome.  Now let’s forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream.

Edit 9:00pm: Well, that was fun.  It was a controlled disaster, but first times of anything usually are.  (I’m reminded of Jay Sherman reminiscing about “the agony of my first public shower”.)  Dave and I got way out of sync on Twitter, I foolishly thought my wireless would be fine if I sat out in the yard instead of closer to the hub (it died with about three minutes to go), I got started late because I had to reboot my laptop, and running these episodes with no commercials makes quoting and commenting on the fly hard to do.  On the other hand, I got to watch The Simpsons, which I am pretty much never unhappy about.  Thanks to those who watched and commented along, here and on Twitter, and we’ll try this again next week.  

“Were you on my roof last night, stealing my weather vane?” – Ned Flanders
“This interview is over!” – Homer Simpson

The big 12 day marathon on a channel neither I nor millions of other people get will begin next Thursday morning.  This week we’ve got several links about it, including the full transcript of a conference call interview Al Jean did earlier this week (there’s actual news for once!) and some very cool posters.  In addition to that, we’ve got more of the fan made Lego Springfield, an unveiling date for the building sized mural in Oregon, Harry Shearer being Dick Nixon, very old sneakers, and a great vacation photo from Washington D.C..

Enjoy.

The Simpsons – Al Jean Interview – This is a full transcript of a conference call Jean did on Wednesday.  Mostly it’s just him efficiently blowing through questions he’s heard dozens of times before (Will there be a sequel? How about those upcoming crossovers?  He even makes a joke about someone asking where Springfield is.), but there is some real news buried in there:

- The app will allow for fan rankings of the episodes:

Q: can you talk a little bit about at TCA you were talking about the database of their new website and there would be a ranking of episodes based on fan favorites. How that ranking is determined?

A: It’s to be determined. It’s up to the fans. We went and listened to what it seemed that people wanted out of the show, and when the app is fully up and running, which probably won’t be until early next year, you can get clips, you can send clips to your friends, you can do an assortment of clips almost like re-edit like people did with the [indiscernible] stuff, and the voting will be up the users too. It will be whatever everybody who logs in votes for and shows they like or dislike. Shows that people dislike the most may actually get some interest viewing, and it’s not for us to say. That’s the great thing about this app.

That sounds . . . interesting.  Everything depends on implementation, but I’ll be curious to see both a) how it shakes out and b) how they react if the fan rankings massively denigrate almost everything after Season 10 or so.  Also note that while the app is scheduled to launch in October, he’s already talking about it not being all the way up and running until 2015.

- This is about the upcoming marathon on FXX:

we’re going to be live tweeting, not continuously, but every time there’s an episode I wrote or a show ran, I’ll try to get in on them. We’re asking guest stars who did the show if they’d like to tweet with the writers. So, we hope to have a discussion going on for the whole way and throw in interesting things people may not have heard.

I bet that’ll depend greatly on when the episodes air.  For example, they’re starting at 10am Eastern next Thursday, so assuming two episodes per hour, Season 3 will be starting at 2:30am Eastern.

- Answering a question about what format the episodes on FXX will be:

Well, the versions as I understand it are the original versions, but they’re expanded to HD except on the app, you can get the original 4X3 because people would want to see the 4X3 so that will be available, but the ones that they’re broadcasting, as I understand it, are the originals with the HD expansion for the ones that weren’t in HD.

I’m not sure what “HD expansion” means, black bars, that blurry extra side thing people do sometimes?

-  One more thing about live tweeting during the FXX marathon:

Yes, we’re totally encouraging it. It’s @BestSimpsons is the Twitter site reserved for the marathon. So, yes, it starts at 7 a.m. August 21st Pacific Time/10 a.m. Eastern and I’ll be tweeting then.

@BestSimpsons looks an awful lot like an abandoned fan account.  There’s only 79 tweets total, and though the most recent is about the FXX marathon, it was from last month and was the first since January.  It links to what also looks like an abandoned fan site, which hasn’t updated since May of last year.  Now, this is from a transcript, so it’s possible that this is a transcription error and is missing a character or two.  I asked Jean on Twitter right before I posted this (and went to lunch), so if he responds (and he often does), I’ll update.

Update 2:10pm: And it was indeed a transcription error.  The actual live tweet account for the FXX marathon is @EverySimpsons.  

Simpsons Trivia Night (Published on The West End Magazine) – Recently, the classic Simpsons trivia competitions have taken a step up, holding “film festivals” and doing Diorama-ramas, but the bar has been raised by this group in Australia.  They set up a fake Simpsons living room!  Excellent.

The Simpsons – FXX Posters – I don’t often get a chance to say this, but: well done, FOX marketing department.  Those are gorgeous and creative and just generally cool.  I might even go so far as to buy a poster if they got rid of the logo and the hashtag.

Watch the trailer for the ‘Simpsons’ marathon – On the other hand, this promo, while pretty, is also quite dumb.

FUSION — Fusion Announces Documentary Project with Sam Simon, Co-Creator of The Simpsons – Simon continues to handle hideous disease about as well as is humanly imaginable.

The Simpsons Bart Boot Sneakers – Actual Simpsons sneakers from the early 1990s, including the stylized box.  Very cool.

Fashion Spotlight: Better Call Hutz, Bartman Begins, and Doh! Zombies! – The punctuation in Hutz’s word bubble is brilliant.

Happy birthday, Dustin Hoffman, or “Mrs. Krabappel, are you trying to seduce me?” – A framed picture of Mr. Bergstrom is pretty damned cool.

HickoryDickoryDank comments on How would you like to see The Simpsons end? – This Reddit thread was making the rounds this week, but the best answer I saw came from a two year old thread on the same idea.

Get lost in a Simpsons themed corn maze – Neat:

Corn maze season starts in September and it is the busiest time of year for the Meuer Farm.

They started planing in February to get “The Simpsons” themed maze just right. The maze has two phases that have a total of around three miles of paths.

There’s an aerial picture at the link.  Looks very fun.

The Weird Minutes Before Nixon’s Resignation – Harry Shearer re-enacts Nixon’s resignation:

The recording of the minutes before the resignation is one that Shearer has always found confounding. It is so clear that the camera crew is unmoved by Nixon’s small talk. “If you were a comic, you’d stop after two of your jokes bombed like that, but he just keeps going,” Shearer said. “For years, I was puzzled by that behavior. Why didn’t he just sit quietly until the time came to deliver the speech? What was going on there?” The answer that finally came to him, as he rehearsed the scene, is that Nixon already had an eye on rehabilitating his reputation. “Those people in that room were going to go out and say, ‘He wasn’t depressed, he wasn’t angry. My god! He was the nicest guy in the world.’ I think that’s exactly who he was. That’s how he got out of his depression, on fight. And the fight starts here.”

Shearer’s the best.

“Bart! Get out of the Spirit of St. Louis!” – Now that is a great Air and Space Museum photo.  Bravo.

The Simpsons’ Town of Springfield, to Scale, in Lego – There is now a YouTube tour of that fan made Lego Springfield.

Old LA Zoo – Oh, cool:

The first Saturday of every month a local comic book store, Nerd Melt, hosts Simpson trivia, called Stonecutters. We lucked out this month because they pushed it back a weekend so we were able to attend. There are 3 rounds of trivia, which get progressively more difficult, with episodes of The Simpsons shown between each round. Every month they bring in special guests who have worked on the show and the episodes played are generally episodes the guests have worked on, so that the guests can give live commentary. This month there were two former directors and a storyboard artist.

Voice of Lisa Simpson to attend mural unveiling Aug. 25 – I guess we’ll get to see that mural a week from Monday.

doh! if only it worked that way! – Sadly, we cannot all escape from reality as easily as Homer.

“But those shows all look so crummy.” – Homer Simpson
“We could dress it up a bit.  We could bring a fern, and a folding chair from the garage, and the most decorative thing of all: the truth.” – Marge Simpson

FXX got a lot of good press out of this Simpsons marathon thing.  Then they went and stretched the image in a way so dumb that I initially didn’t even consider it a possibility:

Oof.  As plenty of people on Twitter have pointed out, that looks atrocious.  Maybe you don’t want to just have black bars on either side, but there are ways to do that without making the entire run of The Simpsons (and a lot of Zombie Simpsons) look like that bad old early days of HD when people wanted to use the whole screen regardless of how it looked.  Put a backdrop around the sides, maybe add some running info about the episodes or the marathon itself, do that thing where there’s an extra blurred out edge . . . something, anything but stretching the image.  Shit like this is why I’m glad I don’t have cable anymore.

(Incidentally, that image came from our old friend Sebastian Nebel’s Twitter feed.  He’s tweeting great images from each episode as they air.  Highly recommended.)

Anyway, this week’s Reading Digest is incomplete for the simple reason that there is lots of Simpsons chatter on-line right now because of the marathon, but the marathon is itself has only just begun.  (They’re in the middle of Season 3 as I type this.)  So there are marathon links below, as well as the more usual stuff.  I’ll cull some of the best marathon stuff I find into it’s own post next week.

Enjoy.

The Greatest Line Every ‘Simpsons’ Character Ever Delivered – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this great list (with lots of video).  I saw one quote from Season 12, but everything else was from earlier.

The Simpsons said it: 9 times ‘The Simpsons’ embiggened the American lexicon – The FXX marathon has prompted a lot of retrospective type articles and posts, most of which are kinda similar.  This one, however, takes a good long look at several of the show’s new words and has a healthy list of honorable mentions to boot.

My Favorite Frames from Homer Defined – Nebel couldn’t pick just one from “Homer Defined”, and it’s easy to see why.

The Best. Show. Ever. Zings Libraries – Some non-Zombie Simpsons library moments.

See the world’s magazine covers from the day ‘The Simpsons’ premiered – Sting was on the cover of GQ.  

Moe Szyslak is The Simpsons’ best character, and the heart of its comedy. – This is so perfectly a #SlatePitch that it’s almost painful.  I stopped reading after this:

The most important decision The Simpsons ever made in its early years was to reimagine itself out of being a show about Bart Simpson into being a show about Homer Simpson. Through this transition—which happened so seamlessly that it was barely even noticeable—The Simpsons moved from being a show about a mischievous kid and his genially dysfunctional family to being a show about an idiotic everyman let loose on the world

Sigh.  It was “barely even noticeable” because it never happened.  At all.  Ever.

‘Revenge’ taps ‘Simpsons’ star Yeardley Smith for season 4 – Pretty much everything you need to know is in the headline there.

My Favorite Episodes of The Simpsons – “Cape Feare” gets the top spot and there’s not a drop of Zombie Simpsons.

My Ten Favorite Episodes of The Simpsons – Only one episode of Zombie Simpsons makes the list.

FilmOn’s Alki David: Comic-Con’s Homer Simpson hologram violated my patent – The Homer hologram they used at ComicCon has generated a lawsuit.  Meh.

Simpsons Marathon Weekend: 10 Episodes to DVR – Those are some pretty good suggestions.

The 3 Biggest Problems Plaguing TSTO – Surprising no one who has played the game, the fact that it crashes a lot is #1.

Harry Shearer, ‘Bob’s Burgers’ win first Emmys – Shearer won an Emmy of some kind.

The Simpsons: I Got Smashed At Wimbledon – I’ve always kinda wanted a shirt like that, but I don’t think most people would get it as a Simpsons reference.

Welcome back to Springfield! *Duh* – More Simpsons memories and some YouTube.

16 Classic Episodes from The Simpsons, season 6 (and 9 memorable ones!) – Season 6 is that good.

‘The Simpsons,’ a Guide to Outlasting the FXX, All-Episode Marathon – Some very good .gifs here.

Homer Simpson on Decisions – All he sees are “Esk”, “C-tarl”, and “Pig Up”.

The 15 Lisa Simpson Episodes Every ‘Simpsons’ Fan Should Like – I’d probably include “Lisa’s Sax”, but if you want to stop at Season 8, I’m not going to argue too hard.

Laughing at Hitler – for credit – You can’t talk about Hitler jokes without The Simpsons:

The idea first occurred to me as a whimsical and convenient way of feeding my near-obsession with The Simpsons, but I’m still convinced that there is value to this prolonged exercise beyond entertainment. The nature of Simpsons humour is that it is enhanced by revision; apparently zany and throwaway, reflection aids the understanding of a deeper, more subtle comedy.
As such, the cursory cutaways to Hitler – and their insignificance to the problematics of the narrative – have to be important to this study. The Simpsons has had an extraordinary impact on a generation’s cultural and political understanding, so there is an importance to its representations. The image of Hitler we get from the Simpsons – nearly assassinated after seduction by a transvestite Abe, raving at an inanimate bear, and possibly still alive and untroubled in South America – is a deliberate construction.

Robyn Urback: Does Toronto need air and ground raccoon surveillance? – Excellent usage:

“I’m sick of these constant bear attacks,” Homer says as he watches animal control haul away the beast. “It’s like a freakin’ Country Bear-Jamboroo around here.”

“Well, now, realistically Homer, I’ve lived here some 30-odd years,” Ned Flanders says. “This is the first and only bear I’ve ever seen.”

“Hey, if you want wild bears eating your children and scaring away your salmon, that’s your business,” Homer replies. “But I’m not gonna take it. Who’s with me?”

Best gifts 2014: Simpsons Bart Cruzer Skateboard by Santa Cruz – The graffiti stencil on the bottom is a nice touch.

25 ‘The Simpsons’ Facts You Didn’t Know – There’s nothing terribly new here, but at least it ends before getting too deep into Zombie Simpsons.

Miss Fickle Reader’s Boring-Ass Beach Blog! Part 1: Why I Haven’t Been Blogging – You can get garbage bags of popcorn in New Jersey:

Now, when you say “open,” the teenager sticks your tub and lid inside a clear plastic garbage bag and shovel as much popcorn as could be expected to fit in or around your tub.
Anyone see the Simpsons reference here? “King-Sized Homer,” when Homer decides to make himself “hyper-obese”? He goes to a matinee of “Honk If You’re Horny,” and the manager says they don’t have wide enough seats for him, but if he leaves quietly they’ll offer him–you guessed it!–“a garbage bag full of popcorn.” Matt Groening, give yourself a gold star. “The Simpsons” has now become completely enmeshed with reality.

Indeed it has.

Per IGN, here’s the schedule for the next 24 hours:

8/23 11:00 AM ET – “Burns’ Heir”
8/23 11:30 AM ET – “Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song”
8/23 12:00 PM ET – “The Boy Who Knew Too Much”
8/23 12:30 PM ET – “Lady Bouvier’s Lover”
8/23 1:00 PM ET – “Secrets of a Successful Marriage”

Season 6

8/23 1:30 PM ET – “Bart of Darkness”
8/23 2:00 PM ET – “Lisa’s Rival”
8/23 2:30 PM ET – “Another Simpsons Clip Show”
8/23 3:00 PM ET – “Itchy & Scratchy Land”
8/23 3:30 PM ET – “Sideshow Bob Roberts”
8/23 4:00 PM ET – “Treehouse of Horror V”
8/23 4:30 PM ET – “Bart’s Girlfriend”
8/23 5:00 PM ET – “Lisa on Ice”
8/23 5:30 PM ET – “Homer Badman”
8/23 6:00 PM ET – “Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy”
8/23 6:30 PM ET – “Fear of Flying”
8/23 7:00 PM ET – “Homer the Great”
8/23 7:30 PM ET – “And Maggie Makes Three”
8/23 8:00 PM ET – “Bart’s Comet”
8/23 8:30 PM ET – “Homie the Clown”
8/23 9:00 PM ET – “Bart vs. Australia”
8/23 9:30 PM ET – “Homer vs. Patty and Selma”
8/23 10:00 PM ET – “A Star is Burns”
8/23 10:30 PM ET – “Lisa’s Wedding”
8/23 11:00 PM ET – “Two Dozen and One Greyhounds”
8/23 11:30 PM ET – “The PTA Disbands”
8/24 12:00 AM ET – “‘Round Springfield”
8/24 12:30 AM ET – “The Springfield Connection”
8/24 1:00 AM ET – “Lemon of Troy”
8/24 1:30 AM ET – “Who Shot Mr. Burns? Pt. 1″

Season 7

8/24 2:00 AM ET – “Who Shot Mr. Burns? Pt. 2″
8/24 2:30 AM ET – “Radioactive Man”
8/24 3:00 AM ET – “Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily”
8/24 3:30 AM ET – “Bart Sells His Soul”
8/24 4:00 AM ET – “Lisa the Vegetarian”
8/24 4:30 AM ET – “Treehouse of Horror VI”
8/24 5:00 AM ET – “King-Size Homer”
8/24 5:30 AM ET – “Mother Simpson”
8/24 6:00 AM ET – “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming”
8/24 6:30 AM ET – “The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular”
8/24 7:00 AM ET – “Marge Be Not Proud”
8/24 7:30 AM ET – “Team Homer”
8/24 8:00 AM ET – “Two Bad Neighbors”
8/24 8:30 AM ET – “Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield”
8/24 9:00 AM ET – “Bart the Fink”
8/24 9:30 AM ET – “Lisa the Iconoclast”
8/24 10:00 AM ET – “Homer the Smithers”
8/24 10:30 AM ET – “The Day the Violence Died”

Looks like it’s gonna be a Season 6 kinda afternoon.  I will be dipping in and out on the Twitter machine, since this is the kind of event at which it excels.

“I had a feeling it was too good to be true.  Every time you get a million dollars something queers the deal.” – Homer Simpson

Since the marathon started last week, there’s been far more Simpsons commentary on the internet than I could possibly hope to keep up with: podcasts, blog posts, articles, the never ending firehose of Twitter, you name it.  For the most part this has been very enjoyable.  Usually, the only time people start talking about the show is when they do another publicity stunt.  Some are linked to their most recent guest appearance or meaningless 50th/100th episode milestone, others some new line of merchandise, or, more recently, the killing of a character and doing crossovers with Family Guy and Futurama.  For the most part these get dutifully written up by the usual sycophantic entertainment news sites and that’s about it.  The marathon, however, has been different.

Starting last week and continuing through the weekend (Seasons 7 and 8 were on most of Sunday), there was an avalanche of people actually talking about The Simpsons instead of Zombie Simpsons or the latest officially licensed crap.  Even better, it was an overwhelming tidal wave of love: people talking about how the old episodes are great, dark, cynical, smart, heartfelt, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  Perhaps most encouraging, at least on Twitter, was the huge number of people watching with their kids.  Nine-year-olds whose parents grew up on the show got sucked into things like “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy” and “Bart of Darkness”.

However, there was one persistent undercurrent to all the comity and enjoyment that kinda bugged me, and it’s gotten worse as the marathon has switched into Zombie Simpsons.  Namely: there’s an almost unspoken taboo against mentioning how much the show has gone to seed.

Before I get into a couple of examples, let me say that I completely understand this.  People just want to discuss or praise the show; they don’t want to have an argument with some pissed off fanboi who may or may not turn out to be a flaming troll asshole.  This is why you’ll often see articles about the show (and this has been everywhere with the FXX marathon) start with some kind of disclaimer about how people complain too much, “blah blah blahing” away criticism of later years, and similar.  It’s simply easier to preempt people from calling you a bitter, uncool Comic Book Guy type than it is to deal with it after the fact.  (This exact phenomenon came up in comments on Wednesday.)

What makes this so annoying from the point of view of a Zombie Simpsons critic is that, no sooner have people made this disclaimer, than they proceed to talk about favorite episodes, gags and stories that come exclusively from Season 9 and earlier.  This is why I called the idea that the show is as good as ever a “Soviet fiction“.  Everyone knows the show isn’t anything like what it once was, they just don’t want to say so explicitly because to do so is to invite trouble, trolling, and pointless arguments that have been hashed and rehashed countless times already.

You can see this phenomenon in spades in two recent discussions of the show: one on a WHYY Philadelphia program called “Radio Times” and the other on the Slate Culture Gabfest podcast.  Production wise, these are a step way above your standard blog rant about the show, and yet that same reluctance applies.

The “Radio Times” episode aired last week, and the producers were kind enough to email me about it.  Here’s the description:

Today, the FXX network begins its 276 hour-long marathon of every episode of The Simpsons ever.  This is to commemorate the launch of the expansive SimpsonsWorld application, which will provide access to every episode, as well as a searchable database of the show’s transcripts.  Today, we discuss the 25 year-old series, its impact on American culture, and why it merits such an expansive service.  We’re joined by DAVID BIANCULLI, television critic for WHYY’s Fresh Air and founder of TVWorthWatching.com, KARMA WALTONEN,  lecturer at UC Davis’s University Writing Program and co-author of The Simpsons in the Classroom: Embiggening the Learning Experience with the Wisdom of Springfield, and Simpsons writer and co-executive producer, MICHAEL PRICE.

“Simpsons and religion, Simpsons and politics,Simpsons and the road, Simpsons and infotainment, Simpsons and family, Simpsons and sexuality, Simpsons and education,Simpsons and self-referentiality”

That uncomfortable fact probably sails over the head of just about everybody (of the people actually participating, my guess is that only Waltonen and Price even realized it).  And while the deterioration of The Simpsons isn’t something that’s strictly necessary to bring up, it’s still a glaring omission to not even mention what is easily one of the most widely debated aspects of the show.  Not discussing it at all is like pretending Michael Jordan retired after 1998, Bobby Fischer never went publicly crazy, or Emily Dickinson lived a long and happy life.  This is a Philadelphia based program, they probably love Rocky 1, but they wouldn’t do a show on it and not even mention the franchise’s crash landings in various sequels.  Yet the collapse of The Simpsons is so potentially toxic that no one brought it up even to disagree with it.

The same can be said of the Slate Culture Gabfest episode about the marathon.  They don’t have a Zombie Simpsons writer whose work they nonchalantly ignore, but they do have a discussion of the show and what makes it “timeless” that repeatedly cites single digit seasons as being among the finest and most influential things ever done . . . all while saying not a word about the later and far inferior season which at this point constitute the bulk of the episodes.

Like the WHYY program, the silence on the decline of the show is deafening.  They dance around it, even saying that they don’t follow the show any more and citing what seasons (single digits) they think constitute the part of the series that makes it still relevant even twenty years after it was broadcast.  Nobody talks about the later years, because, again, doing so just invites trouble.

This misleads the audience by omission.  A healthy chunk of the Culture Gabfest discussion is devoted to whether or not kids decades from now, who probably won’t get references to Cheers or Phantom of the Opera, will still laugh at something like “Flaming Moe’s”.  Their consensus is that, yes, kids in the future will get it, because you don’t actually need to know Cheers to enjoy it any more than you need to have seen Citizen Kane to get “Rosebud”.  (For the record, I and plenty of other people had probably seen “Rosebud” fifteen or twenty times before ever watching Kane.)  But “Flaming Moe’s” and “Rosebud” are light years of quality and timelessness away from, say, the Lady Gaga episode, or the popped eyeball episode, or even the “picture a day” YouTube episode.

Again, I understand the reluctance.  Criticizing the show and saying that it isn’t as good as it once was is to invite the most boring and annoying kind of discussion.  I wouldn’t call the e-mails I routinely receive “hate mail” (no one has, for example, threatened to drink blood out of my genitals (<- asshole)), but they tend not to be kind.  And one of the very first comments we ever got on this site way back in 2009 was to call me a pedophile.  It’s aggravating and time consuming even before you get into refuting the same tired arguments over and over again.

But if you want to talk about why the show is “timeless”, you are doing your audience a disservice if you don’t talk about the difference between The Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons.  The show is a global cultural phenomenon to which basically nothing else can even be compared, and those early seasons are a literary goldmine whose breadth and depth touch on an all but unlimited array of immutable human subjects: love, failure, humiliation, redemption . . . the list goes on.  There’s a reason Karma Waltonen can teach a kaleidoscope of college level topics through the lens of The Simpsons.

That’s why I’m not kidding when I compare The Simpsons to William Shakespeare and Mark Twain.  Twain had a #1 bestseller one hundred years after he died, and people still make new and innovative Shakespeare adaptations for stage and screen because in both cases the writing is just that good.  Are high school students in the class of 2114, 2214 or even later going to be forced to watch “Cape Feare” the same way they’re forced to read Hamlet or Huckleberry Finn?  I don’t know, and I’m never going to find out because I’ll be dead by then.  But from the vantage point of 2014, you’d be hard pressed to nominate any other recent cultural creation that stands a better chance (or even comes close).  After all, there’s already a play that’s been critically acclaimed in New York City and London about how people will be reinterpreting The Simpsons far into the future.

So while it’s enjoyable to see The Simpsons lauded and praised on big name podcasts, public radio, and other mainstream outlets, there’s no getting around the fact that eliding and/or ignoring the show’s precipitous fall makes their encomiums incomplete (at best).  The Simpsons itself deserves the praise, but to overlook or conflate it with the shallow detritus its reputation and legacy still manage to keep on the air degrades and distorts both what it means now and how it will fare in the future.  It’s a pain in the ass to do, but if you want to talk meaningfully about The Simpsons, you’ve got to talk about Zombie Simpsons.

“There.  Finished.” – Homer Simpson
“You are?” – Lisa Simpson
“Well, it’s a quick job, but it’s shelter.” – Homer Simpson
“It is?” – Marge Simpson

Just like last week, this is by necessity incomplete.  I just can’t keep up, but there is a ton of good stuff below.  My inbox is also a mess, and I know I owe like half a dozen people e-mails, so hopefully I get to that and then fill in many of the links I didn’t have time to get to.  In the meantime: enjoy.

Not Allowed In The Deep End: Ralph Wiggum’s Finest Moments – A great tribute to Ralph that treats him like a real child.

The Simpsons Deserves Another Great Video Game – A Hit and Run sequel would be pretty cool.  But it would require EA to make a good game which . . . yeah, not getting my hopes up.

How ‘Simpsons’ Movie Parodies Have Changed Over 25 Years – This is much gentler on Zombie Simpsons than I would be, but it’s got a lot of great YouTube and is explicit about the fact that the show went to hell.

7 Artists Influenced By The Simpsons: Fall Out Boy, Les Claypool, And More – Just what it says.  I didn’t know one of the guys from Primus named his home studio “Rancho Relaxo”.

FXX Airs ‘The Simpsons’ in Wrong Aspect Ratio. Won’t Someone Think of the Children? – Comes with some good examples of how their idiotic aspect ratio decision cuts out some of the jokes.

‘The Simpsons': 5 Best Courtroom Scenes (and Lessons for Lawyers) – There’s some good ones here and no Zombie Simpsons.

5 Absurd Fan Theories About ‘The Simpsons’ – The only one of these I’ve even heard of was the Smithers one, but they are absurd.

Play D’oh!: The Simpsons FXX marathon schedule – There’s a good collection of recommended moments and episodes at the top, none of which are Zombie Simpsons.  (via @ChannelGuideRAB)

The Simpsons top 50 episodes – This is a pretty good list (there’s one episode from Season 13, but that’s it).  (via @dailysimpsons)

Lisa Simpson’s 6 Most Dramatic Identity Crises – This is a nice little slideshow that doesn’t contain any Zombie Simpsons.  Horray.

20 Mr. Burns-Centric ‘Simpsons’ Episodes Everyone Should Know – Yet another list that mercifully has no Zombie Simpsons.

The Simpsons find a true home in downtown Springfield – That mural in Oregon was unveiled.  It’s cool, and Yeardley was there.  Also, there’s YouTube.

Father of ‘Homer Simpson’ voice actor dead at 99 – Some sad news this week, Castellaneta’s father Louis died.  He sounded like a damn good guy:

“When I was very young and he was tucking me in bed, he turned away for a moment and said he had something in his eye,” the son said Thursday. “When he turned back, he had two ping-pong balls over his eyes with black dots on them and said, ‘AH, that’s better.’ For a while as a very young kid, I thought that he had the ability to make his eyes like that.

“When I asked him why he rarely went to church with us, he told me it was because he was Jewish. For five years, I thought I was half-Jewish — until one time I brought it up at the dinner table. Mom said, ‘Where did you get that?’ I said, ‘Dad told me.’ She hit him on the arm and said, ‘Lou!’ Obviously, it wasn’t true.”

‘The Simpsons’: A genius portrait of American childhood – A very nice appreciation of how well the show captured and portrayed real kids.  This is also an example of what I was talking about this morning.  This link is in the Washingotn Post, and doesn’t so much as even nod to the collapse of the show.  Maybe it’s not 100% necessary, but Zombie Simpsons certainly doesn’t show the kids as kids, so maybe it is.

Oy! NHL threatened The Simpsons over Stanley Cup scene – They even sent a cease and desist letter.  Also, there’s a nice .gif of Krusty puking in the Cup.

What Happens To The Human Brain If You Try To Watch Every ‘Simpsons’ Ever – Sleep deprivation would make things less funny eventually according to the scientists who came up with the (presumably) un-ironically named “humor appreciation test”.

The Simpsons and My So-Called Life are the Right Kind of 90s Nostalgia – A comparison of the very early years with the show that made Claire Danes a star.

Four Lessons Philadelphia Can Learn from The Simpsons – Great observation:

After six or so uninterrupted hours in Springfield, it became apparent that the allegedly fictional town is based on none other than Philadelphia.

Officially speaking, series creator Matt Groening claims that Springfield is inspired by a number of generic small towns, and the ambiguity of where, exactly, it could exist is a long-running joke on the show (trust me — I haven’t got off my couch in days). Briefly, the honor went to Springfield, Vermont, when Fox held a contest promoting The Simpsons Movie.

However, Philadelphians will recognize the mix of casual corruption, enthusiastic alcoholism, rabid fandom, and blood-sucking, soul-crushing monopolies as, well, home sweet home.

‘The Simpsons’ Marathon is College Football Fan’s – A look at the show through college football.

What The Simpsons’ Herb Powell Taught Us About The US Auto Industry – A nice writeup of “Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou?” through the lens of the early 1990s auto industry.

Throwback: At a ‘Simpsons’ table read (doh!) – A TV critic recounts the time in 2001 he went to a table read.

‘The Simpsons’ jumped the shark in one of its best episodes – We’re not the only ones who think of “Homer’s Enemy” as a turning point.

“I think Lisa needs to feel a little special tonight.  How about letting her ride up front too?” – Marge Simpson
“Eh, I tried.” – Homer Simpson

As was inevitable as soon as FXX decided to run the marathon consecutively, instead of something more humanitarian like banishing Zombie Simpsons to the unemployable alcoholic angry loner hours, there have been some defenses of Zombie Simpsons cropping up in the last few days.  To start things off, we’ve got three of those, followed by another overflowing pile of other great stuff.  We’ve got several links to fan art, lots of people reminiscing about the show, a woman who kept her Maggie doll for twenty-four years, and lists and lists and lists of episodes, most of which wouldn’t don’t even mention Zombie Simpsons.

Enjoy.

To start, here are three professional defenses of Zombie Simpsons, in decreasing order of both quality and defensiveness of Zombie Simpsons (that’s not a coincidence):

Extend Your Simpsons Marathon Buzz With These Videos: Gothamist – This one is very solid and is also Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week despite citing some truly awful episodes as “gems”.  For starters, there is a metric ton of good YouTube here, including that great Conan O’Brien discussion with the old writers, The Longest Daycare, and some other stuff.  Closer to my heart is this:

Despite our reservations, we have truly enjoyed this chance to catch up a bit on the so-called “Zombie Simpsons” era, the not-so-affectionate term Simpsons aficionados use for the show post-season 12.

They didn’t give us a link, which I was a little miffed about at first.  Especially because the author goes on to inadvertently cite the two big reasons the show went to hell (writer turnover and that march of time) before basically agreeing with the central premise of “Zombie Simpsons”, namely that it and The Simpsons aren’t the same show:

The show is certainly not the same as it used it (which you can blame on changes in the writing room, or just a byproduct of the inexorable march of time and commerce upon an hit animated television show), and the later seasons don’t touch the first decade (they don’t exist in the same universe, truly)

But then it occurred to me that it’s actually better that we’re not linked because that means the term is catching!  Everything is falling into place and all I have to do is take the ice scraper, road maps, and jade monkey out of my glove box before the next full moon.

Sorry haters, The Simpsons is still really good – Thanks to the five or so people who sent me this misleadingly headlined Vox article.  Why misleading?  Well, try this:

Yes, the show repeats itself a fair amount, but it would be hard for it not to. And, yes, the show has sort of lost a point-of-view character, as its writers have aged past first the Simpson kids and then even the Simpson parents. Many stories in its later years tend to be along the lines of “Can you believe things are this way?!” and have the tone of a particularly perturbed anecdote in the “Life in These United States” feature in Reader’s Digest.

There’s more tepid praise and “to be sure” type statements at the link, so “Sorry haters” isn’t exactly justified by the actual text.

It’s also worth pointing out that the two videos he embeds are about as far from your run of the mill Zombie Simpsons episode as it’s possible to get.  One was the Guillermo del Toro opening, which they had basically nothing to do with.  The other was from the Lego episode, which was their most lovingly produced and hyped episode in a very long time, and still sucked worse than Season 11.

The Simpson’s Maude Flanders Isn’t as Good as She Seems – And finally, we come to our old friend MovieBob, last seen around these parts making wild assumptions without any evidence to back them up.  Well, matters haven’t changed much.  He spends half his post coming to the realization that Maude was kind of an authoritarian and praising her character for being better than he remembers, then noting that she dies in Season 11 . . . you know, when Zombie Simpsons finally took over.  More amusing, is this:

It also helps put to lie the “Zombie Simpsons” fallacy — the notion of a seismic downward-shift in quality. There are good episodes as recently as last season, and entries from the infallible “classic” era that don’t really hold up. (Mr. Burns sexually-harassing Marge in Marge Gets a Job, Season 4 Episode 7? Not really that funny outside of the let’s-kidnap-Tom-Jones business at the end.)

First of all, this word “fallacy”, it requires some evidence to back it up.  MovieBob doesn’t cite a single episode that he thinks is good.  He’s welcome to think what he likes, of course, but not even naming a single one doesn’t do his argument any favors.  Instead, he takes a quick dump on “Marge Gets a Job”, an episode I cannot recall anyone else ever calling bad.  Who doesn’t like Troy McClure’s Half-Assed Guide to Foundation Repair, The Spruce Caboose, and, of course, the Angel of Death on funny hat day, to name but a few?  Just as importantly, it ranks dead in the middle of the stellar Season 4 on IMDb’s episode guide.  That’s called “evidence”, and if you’re going to use the word “fallacy” it helps to have some.  (Thanks for the link, though.)

TV Legends Revealed | Did No ‘Simpsons’ Fan Correctly Guess Who Shot Mr. Burns? – Interesting backstory and a reminder that 1-800-Collect was a strange, strange thing.

Bart Club street art on a San Diego corner. – Some great pictures of various Bart versions on things.  The four-eyed banana Bart is particularly memorable.

The 20 Greatest Musical Moments On The Simpsons – These are songs the show created not band guest appearances, so there’s no Zombie Simpsons.

Cropping The Simpsons and The Wire – The genius of the standard #Slatepitch article has always been its ability to generate responses.  (Also, too, please don’t fuck up The Wire.)

Why We Love The Simpsons’ Music So Much – The marketing for next weekend’s show at the Hollywood Bowl is ramping up, and this L.A. Weekly article has a nice little story about when Elfman met Groening and how Elfman wrote the theme:

“As soon as I saw the sequence, I heard the ‘bah-bah-bah-BUM-bah-bah-bah…’ ” he says. “I drove home really fast because I didn’t want to lose it. I ran down the steps of my studio and I made a cassette, and sent it out the same day. That demo was, essentially, The Simpsons theme. There is some great cosmic irony that it’s the quickest and most easily conceived job of my life, and it became probably the most famous thing I ever wrote.”

Growing Up with Bart Simpson – Yet another appreciation of the show, this one at Newsweek Jr., that walks right up to the line of saying the show sucks now before backing off.  Of course, all examples cited are from early seasons.

Homer Simpson’s 10 Most Memorable Non-Power Plant Jobs On ‘The Simpsons’ – Our old friend John Hugar cites no examples from past Season 10.  Bravo.

Favorite “Simpsons” episodes – One from Season 12 makes the cut, but nothing after.  It’s almost like nobody likes Zombie Simpsons.

Repost: In honor of the Every Simpsons Ever Marathon my list of the Best.Episodes.Ever – There are 126 episodes on here, and almost no Zombie Simpsons.

Infographic: A Statistical Break-d’oh-n Of The 25 Types of “Simpsons” Episodes – That’s a pretty cool graphic, but since it basically shows that there never were any “Bart” years, you’d think the intro wouldn’t repeat that fallacy.  (See what I did there?)

The Glue – There’s only a small bit in this Phil Hartman article about the show, but it is a great read.  I didn’t know he was the oldest rookie cast member of SNL ever.

D’oh! It’s Throwback Thursday. – There’s a lot of stuff this week, I know, but this picture of a girl with her precious Maggie doll in 1990 and of her still with it in 2014 is pretty damned cool.  Excellent.

10 Facts About The Best ‘Simpsons’ Writer Ever, John Swartzwelder – Mostly culled from Twitter, but are pretty good.

(b)Art Critic – The Simpsons Class it up With Art Show – There is some great stuff here, especially the Itchy & Scratchy Land movie poster.

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times: Celebrating ‘The Simpsons’ at 25 – Yet another retrospective with plenty of reasons why the show was great.

#EverySimpsonsEver: Steve Sax remembers his appearance on ‘Homer At The Bat’ – Heh:

[I thought], “We’ve arrived.” You get to do The Simpsons, man. Let me tell you what. I get to do speaking, right. I speak at different places all over the country. When the question-and-answer period comes up, it’s not about, “Hey, what was it like hitting against Clemens?,” or, “What was it like in the World Series?” It’s like, “Hey, man, was it fun on The Simpsons?” That’s what everybody asks me still. I get more acclaim for The Simpsons than anything.

The Simpsons… – Simpson family heads done in Lego.  Maggie and Homer are great.

WWLSR: Seasons 10-12 – Lisa’s books from the last good years.

A Bomb in the Lasagna: How Will We Remember “The Simpsons?” – An interesting question:

Will The Simpsons be a show defined by specific eras, or will it be taken as a whole; as one massive, culture satirizing and culture defining megalith?

My guess would be that as long as Zombie Simpsons is still on the air, it will be thought of as a contemporary show, for the simple reason that they can always plug in the latest pop culture fad/star/whatever.  Once the show finally ends, however, much of that will fade as the references become stale and all we’ll be left with are the ones that don’t lean on contemporary pop culture (you know, The Simpsons).

11 ‘Simpsons’ marathon episodes you should watch this week – These episodes are atrocious and not worth watching, but the existence of a list like this in Entertainment Weekly is yet another piece of evidence that they are two vastly different shows.

I Caught Yellow Fever: My 12 Days Through FXX’s Simpson’s Marathon – I suppose burnout is one reason to stop paying attention as the marathon got into double digit seasons.  Of course, that there really weren’t any old favorites left to view might have had something to do with it as well.

DJ and His Every Simpsons Ever Marathon – Good point:

And one of my biggest fears was watching those older episodes, but FXX’s promo for this, and accompanying commercial extensions catering to the series and their supporting cast of characters (like this amazing piece of work) drew me towards breaking my old episode trepidations. One of the underrated, yet important occurrences found during this was the how much I laughed. I wasn’t expecting to get as many laughs as I did, perhaps given I’m watching at the age of 24 compared to watching a lot of these episodes (seen before or not) at 12, 13 or 14. There are a plethora of moments I literally laugh out loud at by myself when I’m either walking around at work or at the the grocery store, like this absolute gem.

A few characters from The Simpsons – Cool fan made CGI renderings of some characters, with great tented fingers on Burns.

The Simpsons: The 10 Simpsons episodes worth tuning in for – And no Zombie Simpsons, because why would there be?

Couch Potato: My Favorite “The Simpsons” Episodes! – Also contains no Zombie Simpsons, and puts “Homer Badman” as the all time favorite.

20 Mr. Burns-Centric ‘Simpsons’ Episodes Everyone Should Know – No Zombie Simpsons?  Why?  Because Zombie Burns is an incompetent softie.

A Blind Spot the size of “The Simpsons” – Of all the Simpsons reminisces I’ve read the last couple of weeks, this one might be the most dense in terms of references.  Well done.  Also, co-sign:

About ten years ago I stopped watching The Simpsons. I think it was the episode where they went to Africa and a giraffe was hiding in a prairie dog hole where I realized that they’d gone way off the rails.

Correlation Does Not Imply Causation – Excellent usage, tiger repelling rock and all.

How I am watching #EverySimpsonsEver without cable – God bless DVDs (or DVD rips, whatever).

Will “The Simpsons” ever be good again? – No.  This has been simple answers to simple questions.

Thoughts on Barkira – High praise from someone who loves the original Akira.

Springfield, USA: A Part of us All – Some thoughts on what makes Springfield so relatable.

The Simpsons 1987 Styley – A fan made wheel of Simpsons family members, done in the old way.

6 Things I Learned From The Simpsons Marathon | The Further Adventures of Douchebag Batman – And finally, I not only get to end with one of the many people who agrees with us, but who points out what is often overlooked, it happened quick:

The Downfall in Quality Was Fast
So what I’ve been doing is picking and choosing which episodes to DVR and watch later. I’m sure plenty people are using the same method of watching the show. What’s I find interesting is how quickly I lost interest in the series. By season 10 I’ve only been recording the Treehouse of Horrors and the occasional episode. This is a sharp contrast compared to Saturday when I would record hours of the show and still miss some I wanted to see. Given I knew that by season 11 I had lost interest in the show; I’m hardly the only person to feel this way. I thought it was because I was heading into high school but no, it’s just kind of boring.

It is.

“Would you two like to go the ballet?” – Marge Simpson
“That’s girls stuff.” – Patty Bouvier

Happy birthday Julie Kavner!  

“Devilishiously satirical!  I wonder if anyone else got that?” – Dr. Hibbert
“We’re out of here!” – Homer Simpson

That very cool Hollywood Bowl show is this weekend.  I won’t be able to attend, but if any of you fine Simpsons fans out there make the trip, please let us know.  (I’d be happy to post pictures, an account, what have you.)  In more provincial news, I saw my first Halloween display in a store this week, and I thought, “wow, that’s pretty early”, then when I was going through WordPress tags for this week’s post I came across tons of spam sites selling Homer costumes, Bart costumes, Radioactive Man costumes, Duffman/woman costumes, etc.  I guess it’s already that time of year.

In regular news, Simpsons stuff is getting back to normal, though we still have a couple of people writing and reminiscing about the marathon.  In addition to that, there’s new shoes, Duff Beer getting banned in Australia, the theme song covered by Ohio State’s marching band, and much more.

Enjoy.

A Day In The Life Of Simpsons Quotes – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this day long diary of all the Simpsons quotes that go through someone’s head.  I think many of us can relate.  (Also, thanks for the nice mention.)

Fireworks Finale: The Simpsons Take the Bowl – Some PR agency sent me the little press kit for their series of concerts at the Hollywood Bowl this weekend.  That’s the ticket link, and it looks like a blast.  I’m particularly intrigued by this under the “Artists” section:

Kipp Lennon

Nancy Cartwright singing “Lisa It’s Your Birthday” with Lennon would be pretty fucking cool.  Come on, YouTube, don’t let me down!

‘The Simpsons’ Marathon Ratings Prove The Animated Series Is Here To Stay; EP Al Jean Comments On Massive Success For FXX – I still have no way to watch FXX, but these could be fun from time to time:

FXX, who according to Saftler is planning one day marathons in the future (including a Halloween marathon of every “Treehouse of Horror”), should be able to profit from “The Simpsons” for a long time.

The Halloween episodes are an obvious candidate, as are whole seasons, but if I were them I’d be thinking along the lines of all the flashback episodes, episodes with classic Itchy & Scratchy bits, episodes written by Jon Vitti or Jeff Martin, and things like that.  Also, too, this is yet another reminder that the business press is just as incurious and obsequious as the entertainment press; they cite the syndication deal as $750 million authoritatively, but their link just speculates about the number.  Just like with the voice actors’ salaries, repeating a number doesn’t make it true and the real one is a tightly held secret that nobody involved would ever want public.

‘The Simpons’ Marathon: FXX Sets 8-Episode, Music-Themed Marathon – Looks like they got started last night:

Just as America is recovering from FXX’s recent 12-day marathon of every episode of the “The Simpsons,” the cabler has set an eight-episode, music-themed marathon of the cartoon, beginning at 8 p.m. on Sept. 11.

Since this marathon is “songs created by the show”, there’s nothing after Season 8.

Australia Bans Sale of ‘The Simpsons’ Duff Beer – Oh, well:

However, the Alcohol Policy Coalition complained about the fictional beer to the Alcohol Beverages Advertising Code adjudication panel in June, claiming that Duff beer is very popular with children and adolescents, and therefore might draw their attention to it.
“The association of The Simpsons with the product name and packaging is so strongly entrenched in Australian popular culture that the name and packaging will draw the attention of under 18 year olds,” the panel wrote on its decision on Tuesday.

When Will ‘The Simpsons’ End? FXX Marathon Raises Series Finale Date Question – I don’t know when the show is going to end anymore than anyone else does, but people, professors of pop culture included, seem weirdly focused on numerology to me:

But Robert Thompson, a professor of pop culture at Syracuse University told IBTimes that the show will have to end sometime. “[The end of 'The Simpsons'] is going to have to happen sooner rather than later,” predicts Thompson. “It’s not going to go another 26 seasons.” Thompson guesses the powers that be of “The Simpsons” may be trying to hit 30 seasons before they call it quits, saying “30 seems to be one of those numbers that has some magical tradition behind it,” but he says no one could fault the show at this point for ending at any time.

It was the same with the last renewal, when people were saying things like “25 seasons seems like a good number”.  As mentioned above, I do not know when the show will end, but the ruthless people in charge of that decision won’t be factoring “that’s a nice number” into their thinking.

Can a China Deal Breathe New Life into ‘The Simpsons?’ – There’s now a streaming deal for China.  I’m sure all the writers and staff will be properly compensated.

*The Simpsons Theme* – Ten favorite Simpsons quotes.  There’s some famous ones on there as well as some old fashioned silliness, “Bake him away, toys!”.  Heh.

Watch Ohio State’s Marching Band Cover ‘The Simpsons,’ ‘Game of Thrones’ Themes – The Simpsons theme starts at the 1:40 mark:

Converse x The Simpsons Pack – Fall/Winter 2014 – New Converse shoes appear to just be a regular thing now.  Shoe fiends, prepare to be separated from your money.

Automobiles Of The Future. – “Well, Jimmy, that’s a Homer, only the prototype was ever made.”

KSK Mock Draft: The Next NFL Commissioner – I’d vote for the Rod to replace the Rog.

The Patients NO Doctor Likes – Oof, this would be bad:

-The Abe Simpson- For those of you who are unversed in The Simpsons, grandfather Abe is a character who tells pointless stories, and these patients do the same thing. You will get sucked into a ten minute diatribe about something that you assume is relevant only to find out that they have lured you down a rabbit hole into a vortex of nothingness. THEY don’t even remember the point to their story. I once listened to a fifteen minute account of a women’s relationship with her Welsch Corgi. I incorrectly assumed this was going somewhere with her medical condition, maybe flea infestation, or worms or something, but NO, it went nowhere. Later I found out that the Corgi had been dead for six years, and we still hadn’t discussed anything about her medical condition.

The Simpsons Casting Couch – This actually is bad, but I chuckled.

The Simpsons Life – Cool fan poem.

Adventure Time Syrup, Independent Thought Alarm Button – I have friends who are teachers, I would definitely buy them an Independent Thought Alarm gag gift.

LisaSimpsonStudent – This list of Lisa episodes goes way too deep into Zombie Simpsons for my taste, but there are some very good ones listed as well.  I am slightly disheartened by the lack of “Lisa’s Pony” or “Lisa the Greek”, but that’s just me.

D’OH – Heh.

Póngalo en la H / Put it in H – That would be the car they had in mind.

How Do *You* Like to Party? – Excellent reference:

While I was thinking about potential party and promo ideas, and trying to tie elements of the party into the book, I remembered that for most of the book, Denny carries a shotgun, and it kind of becomes an iconic weapon for her. Then, unfortunately, because my mind inevitably slips into Simpsons references, I pictured Homer out in front of the bowling alley with a shotgun… Bowling! Get your bowling here!
I have a feeling that this marketing plan would attract record numbers of police and fire officials, but few would stay to purchase books.

You’ll never know till you try.

D’oh! – A personal essay about the show that plenty of us can relate to:

So the question is “What do I owe The Simpsons?”. Well, to be honest, probably more than even I realize. It was the first thing that I can really remember immersing myself in; it was the first time that I felt like something was mine. The very foundation of my sense of humor is cemented in the early Conan O’ Brien, John Swartzwelder episodes, marked by absurd but engaging situations, and witty dialogue. It was the first time in my short life that I was able to see something and then try to mold myself from that model in emulation of it. I think everyone of us has that at some point in our childhood, and I think it’s a pretty big psychological development. It represents cognizance, analysis, and repetition, but also a degree of self-awareness since you have to be aware that you’re trying to change your behavior, or yourself in order to emulate, or replicate some external stimuli. For me, that stimuli was The Simpsons, and for this I owe the Simpson family, and Matt Groening a Duff.

Daddy Duty: Homer Simpson – Someone dads can relate to – Columnist loves the show, doesn’t mention the decline, cites only episodes from single digit seasons, yeah, this is one of those.

C. Montgomery Burns’ Handbook of World Domination Book Review – Sounds nice.

When did ‘The Simpsons’ go downhill? – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us, this time in the Kankakee, Illinois Daily Journal:

Before the marathon, I would have been hard-pressed to tell you exactly when the show went downhill. Now I can tell you that it was probably in season 12 (I missed season 11, so it could have been then, too. Many critics point to this time as the start of the downfall).

[...]

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that at some point, the characters became almost caricatures of their worst traits. Now, Marge is not much more than the nagging wife, Lisa the sanctimonious vegetarian, Bart the troublemaker, Homer the drunken buffoon. They’re not as nuanced as they once were, and they’re definitely lacking a lot of the humanity they once had.
There’s also the matter of the millions of guest stars. The later episodes are too focused on cameos from whoever is popular that millisecond, and the writers are more interested in sucking up to the celebrities, instead of parodying them.
For instance, in the “Lisa Goes Gaga” episode in season 23, Lisa learns from guest star Lady Gaga that’s important to be true to yourself, which, yawn. I was unaware “The Simpsons” had turned into “Sesame Street.”

Heh, too true.  Too true.

“How much longer was Sherbert planning on making this piece of junk?” – Homer Simpson

There are a lot of great videos up on YouTube from the big Simpsons show at the Hollywood Bowl this weekend.  They’re all from people’s phones, so the fun police could be along to take them down at any time, but we can enjoy them while they last.

Here’s Azaria doing some intro:

Conan O’Brien doing “The Monorail Song”:

Azaria and Cartwright doing a prank call:

“Do the Bartman”:

“See My Vest”:

“Be Our Sitter”:

“Happy Birthday Lisa”:

David Silverman and his flaming tuba doing “We Put the Spring in Springfield”:

“We Do”:

Azaria as Duffman:

Jon Lovitz doing “Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want To Get Off”:

“Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?”:

“Spider-Pig”:

Weird Al doing a “Jack & Diane” parody about the show (he even takes a swing at Zombie Simpsons, bless his heart):

And, just for fun, here’s Azaria performing “Let It Go” as Chief Wiggum:

“Sir, the TV ratings for the launch are the highest in ten years!” – NASA Guy
“Yay!” – NASA Geeks
“And how’s the spacecraft doing?” – NASA Director
“I don’t know.  All this equipment is just used to measure TV ratings.” – NASA Guy

Happy birthday David Mirkin!

“How was it?” – Bart Simpson
“It wasn’t that great.” – Lisa Simpson
“Be honest.” – Bart Simpson
“It was the greatest movie I’ve ever seen in my life!” – Lisa Simpson

This week we’ve got lots of links to those lucky bastards who got to see the Hollywood Bowl show last week, many of them with cool pictures.  Sure, YouTube is better than nothing, but it’s a poor substitute for the real thing.  In addition to that, we’ve got a bunch of .gifs, Duffman in the big leagues, a couple of disappointing lists, and a huge Sam Simon profile.

Enjoy.

D’OH! Eat my shorts! Ha-ha! Don’t have a cow, man! Ay, caramba! – Looking at the long history of the show and its influences on subsequent cartoons.

How The Simpsons Co-Creator Sam Simon Is Facing His Own Tragedy – A full blown writeup of Sam Simon’s life in Vanity Fair.  It’s chock full of stuff like this:

“I’m the best contract negotiator in the world,” he says. “But I had help. I had lawyers and stuff. Relative to the average person Don King negotiates with, I think we were bringing somewhat of an advantage to the situation.” Sam laughs as he recalls a memorable dinner with Don King at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills. “So, I call the lawyer in, and we start talking about a contract to join the stable of fighters that Don King promotes and hopefully to get a shot at the heavyweight championship of the world. We negotiated for three and a half hours, running back and forth, making Xerox copies in the lobby. I just remember how thick the thing was; even though it was only about eight or nine pages, there’s so much sweat from people handing it back and forth and all the scribbling and initialing. Anyway, Don King says, ‘O.K., we have a deal. And I’m going to have my lawyers type up everything that we’ve discussed. So: Here. Sign the bottom of this blank piece of paper. And let me get all three of your signatures. And then I will have everything else typed in above it.’ ”

Sam laughs. Hard.

Graphs of every word used on The Simpsons (Also: all other TV and movies) – There is a link at the bottom to a tool dedicated to just The Simpsons.

Hank Azaria: Simpsons, Ray Donovan Star on His First Time in Variety – An interesting little interview with Azaria about his career.  The drawing of him at the top is also pretty cool.

90s Cartoon Party by Makomali – Cool fan made drawing of various 90s cartoon characters.

Possibly The Best Simpsons GIF – I don’t know if it’s the best, but an old tape of Homer, Lenny and Carl working is pretty good.

The Simpsooooons – Pictures and an account of the Hollywood Bowl show.

The Simpsons Take the Bowl at the Hollywood Bowl last night was so amazing – Lots of pictures and video and one gigantic donut.

Highlights – Great picture of the start of the show, even getting the sign in the background.

Guest Post – The Simpsons Hollywood Bowl Show! – Another write up by some lucky person.

The 6 most memorable moments from ‘The Simpsons’ Hollywood Bowl concert – And the official write up from Entertainment Weekly.

My Absolute Favorite Video on Youtube of All Time – Heh:

There’s just so much purity in this moment. It’s my ‘plastic bag flowing in the wind’

Trambapoline!

Tee 452 – Clever Homer/Jaws shirt.

Lisa Simpson Loses Out in Mensa Poll – Bart is the favorite of people who belong to Mensa, the group for people with low self esteem.

The NFL Simpsonized – Some NFL players in yellow.  Nice of them to have Jay Cutler smoking.

Dear Baby: You Need To Sleep Now – Heh:

I guess you just have to do your best in making your baby comfortable. Unfortunately, sometimes that means being awake at all hours of the night. Remember that episode of the Simpson’s where Homer’s brother (did you remember he had a brother?) invents that machine that can translate baby talk into English? Someone needs to get on making that a reality. Now.

New trending GIF on Giphy – Milhouse being literally labeled “Fat”.

New trending GIF on Giphy – Homer thinking.

New trending GIF on Giphy – Ha ha, you love me.

Crazy Cat Lady Begin – Fan poem that ends with the beginning of Crazy Cat Lady.  Neat.

Matt Duffy of the Giants Has Duffman on the Ends of His Bats – Cool:

5 Things The Simpsons Predicted – The Yard Work Simulator has come terrifyingly true.

‘The Simpsons’ star Yeardley Smith heads to ‘The Mindy Project’ – Everything there is to know is in the headline.

Return To The Idiotbox! – Four Cartoons That Are Great To Revisit As An Adult – The show comes in at a mere #3.

The Top 10 Lists: Top 10 Cartoons (Part 1) – And #6 here.

“Point and game Becker.  And will the harlequin in the third row please keep his voice down.” – Wimbledon Announcer
“Sorry, folks, uh, sorry, your majesty.” – Krusty the Klown

Happy birthday Brad Bird!

“Mr. Mayor, is is true you rigged the election?” – Lionel Hutz
“No, I did not.” – Mayor Terwilliger
“Kids, help.” – Lionel Hutz

Phil Hartman would’ve been 66 today, happy birthday!  

“Is it true you attempted suicide when you heard the news?” – Vulture #1
“Are you and Princess Di just friends?” – Vulture #2
“You people make me sick!  You’re vultures!  Where were you when I sang at Farm Aid?  Out of my way, you parasites!  I said out of my way!” – Krusty the Klown

This week we’ve got four (count’ em four!) links to Vulture, which is doing yeoman’s work to promote the new season of Zombie Simpsons, which starts, ugh, on Sunday.  The first one is by far the most interesting, but all of them have their moments, even if those moments serve as yet more evidence that nobody cares about Zombie Simpsons.

Other than that, this is a pretty short Reading Digest because the ever obsequious entertainment press is pimping both the Family Guy crossover and this goofy stunt about a character dying as hard as they possibly can.  There’s no point to any of it, so I didn’t link any of it.  There are some other lists and .gifs and the usual what-have-you, of course, but the marketing machine was at full power this week and that always screws up the signal-to-noise ratio.

Enjoy.

David Silverman on 8 Early Simpsons Sketches – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this guided tour of some very early sketches, including from “Bart the Genius”, “Life on the Fast Lane”, and a Butterfinger commercial.  Really cool.

Simpsons Showrunners on the ‘Classic Era’ Myth – The headline for this interview with Jean, Mirkin and Selman is a little misleading in that they only mention their “myth” a little near the end.  As per usual, the Soviet fiction of “the show is still good” is officially maintained while almost all the examples they cite are from single digit seasons.  The intro even contains this:

Matt Selman is arguably the greatest Simpsons writer of the latter seasons, and many of the newer episodes on our list of the 100 best were written or co-showrun by him.

Talk about damning with faint praise!

28 Simpsons Quotes Every Fan Must Know – Our next Vulture link pretty much proves what I’m talking about above.  There are 28 quotes.  One (1) is from Zombie Simpsons (and it’s Season 16, which ain’t exactly recent in its own right).

Hank Azaria on 5 of His Many Simpsons Voices – And our final link from them is Azaria talking about some of the voices he does.  There’s nothing really new here, but it’s kinda neat, and he repeats what he’s said before about how he really has no new voices to do, whereas he used to do tons of new ones.

“Land of Chocolate” by Alf Clausen – Fear Alf Clausen’s terrible gaze:

Hank Azaria As Chief Wiggum Sings “Let It Go” – Azaria went on the Conan O’Brien show and they talked about the Hollywood Bowl thing.

Miley Cyrus Wears Her Love Of ‘The Simpsons’ On Her Sleeve—You Can, Too – I feel dirty just for linking to this, but it’s an MTV link about a (probably paid promotional) celebrity selfie to flog Itchy & Scratchy pajamas.  MTV is so naked about their sales job that they actually wrote this:

Drop Dead has developed a boutique Itchy & Scratchy Show collection in conjunction with Twentieth Century Fox Consumer Products featuring iconic Simpsons characters.

The name “MTV News” has never been synonymous with high journalistic standards (or really, any journalistic standards), but I find it hilarious that they actually bothered to use the full name “Twentieth Century Fox Consumer Products”.  Did they copy and paste it directly from the press e-mail they got?

Kevin Cuneo: Golden age of ‘Simpsons’ flew by – A columnist old enough to have kids in their 20s laments the death of the show.  Please refer to this the next time someone tells you people outgrew the show and that’s why they say it sucks now.  This guy was an adult from start to finish, and he can see how crappy the new ones are.

‘The Simpsons’ Outfit Grids by Bryan Espritu – Nice touch giving Barney his jumbo thong bikini.

The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson, 17 Years Later: Gothamist – A quick look back at the Twin Towers episode that morons pulled from syndication for a few years.

10 of Our Favorite Quotes from ‘The Simpsons’ – Nary a trace of Zombie Simpsons, and plenty of good YouTube.

Our 10 Favorite Simpsons Moments – From the same site as the above, there is a Zombie Simpsons one in here, but it’s surrounded by the acknowledgement that it was a “bad era”.

The Simpsons Family Book Comes Out Next Week! – There is a new reference book.  That is all.

Round 127: Love, Springfieldian Style vs. Homer Goes to College – First up, Nebel’s exclusive interview with the Pope.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons homer simpson… – A reversed one of Homer’s attempt at breakfast catching fire.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons money make… – Money fight!

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons surprised homer… – The suckers’ll think it’s beer nuts.

Culture Shock Part II: The things you watch – I learned something today:

While consuming my regular intake of The Simpsons (Les Simpsons) I noticed another thing that brought up some questions about French broadcasting. The good ole’ Duff beer Homer J. Simpson was enjoying was blurred out! What the Duff!? After raising the question of why, I was informed that in France there is no alcohol promotion allowed whatsoever.

The Simpsons Took the Bowl – And finally, one last recap of the Hollywood Bowl show, one that happens to agree with us:

I was fairly worried that if they were trying to encapsulate the last 25 years of the show, I might be bored during the numbers I didn’t know, but if there was a song created on the show in the last ten years, I didn’t hear it. What I did hear were most of the greats over the show’s early run.

No, I’m not still jealous, why do you ask?

A Springfield resident dies. Also, Krusty retires after he’s offended by a comedy cable channel roast of him, and Lisa tries to protect Homer from getting hurt.

Welcome everyone to season 26. We are going to kick off with the much talked about ‘death of a recurring character who is voiced by an actor who won an Emmy for the character but it’s not anyone important blah blah blah’ episode for which we have all been waiting.  Also some other things are going to happen. I can’t decide what thing I care less about, but that’s because they are all equally meaningless to me.

Also tonight is the Family Guy / Simpsons Crossover, which is technically a Family Guy episode, so I am not obligated to write anything about it here.

“With the way you’re treating me, why should I protect you?” – Bart Simpson
“Because, if you tell, no one will believe you.  Remember, I’m the sweet, perfect minster’s daughter, and you’re just yellow trash.” – Jessica Lovejoy

Happy birthday Gabor Csupo!

“Hi, kids.  Today’s show is gonna be the funniest, side-splittinest, cavalcade of . . . ah, the hell with it.  Roll the cartoon.” – Krusty the Klown

There are a lot of big, flashing similarities between “Like Father, Like Clown” and “Clown in the Dumps”, most prominently that both are about Krusty and his father, and, even moreso, about Krusty missing his father.  But there are also a lot of small, individual scenes and jokes that are very similar.  So let’s consider one of the former and then one of the latter.

For our overarching theme, just look at how each episode handles Bart and Lisa.  In Season 3, Bart and Lisa have a reason to meet Krusty (their saving him in “Krusty Gets Buster”), and then we follow them as they set out to help him.  We see them asking Reverend Lovejoy how to find a rabbi, we see them meet Rabbi Krustofsky, get rejected, and then their attempts to win him over.  (The Simpsons being The Simpsons, Sammy Davis Jr. succeeds where the Talmud fails.)

Meanwhile, the episode checks in on Krusty as we see him wallowing in depression: watching a TV movie in a bus station, cracking up on his own show, and dialing his father over and over again.  It’s genuinely sad, but it’s still funny because the movie is Hercules vs. the Martians and Krusty’s on-air break down is his touched response to a particularly brutal and gory Itchy & Scratchy.

“And didn’t Scratchy Jr. look happy playing with his Dad until they got run over by the thresher.”

By contrast, in the blasted wasteland of Season 26, Bart and Lisa are just sort of there for the ride.  Lisa because she was shunted off to an unrelated (and very repetitive) B-plot; and Bart because we don’t see him do anything except show up and explain to us the stuff we didn’t see him do.

In addition to this not making sense, it sucks out a lot of the fun.  Instead of getting to see Bart and Lisa as active characters who get to do things like lie to Reverend Lovejoy about liking his radio show and dress up in curls and a hat to argue Jewish philosophy, we watch Bart talk to Krusty, talk to Krusty, and then talk to Krusty again.

Great, good conversation there.

And it’s not like what we do get to see is any better.  Krusty bounces from one manic episode to the next, but they fall flat over and over again, which brings us to our individual scene of wretchedness, Krusty hosting his show and airing what I almost hesitate to call an “Itchy & Scratchy” cartoon.

Things open with Sideshow Mel helpfully expositing everything that’s happening:

“Boys and girls, you know that we’ve been dark for a couple of days because of a tragic loss in the Krustylu family.  Now, put your hands together for the man who’s falling apart before our eyes, Krusty the Klown!”

That is quintessential “tell don’t show”: not a single word of that needs to be there.  It’s filler from start to finish.  We already know what’s going on, and while there’s something to be said for a dry description of the obvious from time to time, Zombie Simpsons uses it so much that it’s impossible to tell if they’re even trying to be funny with it.

The really bad part, though, is that they’ve become so bad at showing things, they almost have to resort to this sort of thing.  After Krusty appears and tells them to roll the cartoon, we see a very short Scratchy cartoon (Itchy isn’t in it), and then this:

Krusty, looking a little miffed.

Krusty is kind of upset, but he looks completely normal, and his dialogue is just him setting up a rimshot worthy punchline:

Oh, my God, who made this monstrosity?

Which is immediately followed by a recording of him on the TV claiming credit (rimshot), then more exposition:

Kids, I’m experiencing a crisis of conscience.

It goes on from there while he explains each joke as it happens and tells us what he’s going to do.

Compare that to Krusty also barely holding it together in “Like Father, Like Clown”.  For one thing, we get a real Itchy & Scratchy cartoon, one of the bloodiest and most violent ever, “Field of Screams”.  Just like in Zombie Simpsons, it starts with Scratchy playing with Scratchy Jr..  Since Zombie Simpsons ends it right there, that’s where the similarities stop.  “Field of Screams” has Scratchy and Scratchy Jr. run over by a mechanized thresher driven by Itchy and Itchy Jr., whom we then see playing catch with Scratchy’s head.  There’s a lot of blood, Bart and Lisa (watching from home) laugh uproariously, and then we see Krusty:

 Now that’s sad, and he didn’t even need to tell us what he’s feeling.

Take a look at those two images.  In one, we see Krusty acting perfectly normal (or what passes for it for him), in the other one, we see a broken man just barely holding it together who chokes up and starts crying as he desperately tells them to go to commercial.  The Simpsons doesn’t need to have Krusty tell the audience how he’s feeling because we can see it plainly on his face.

Both episodes have the exact same scene (Krusty bombing his show because he’s upset about his father), but the version from The Simpsons has no gratuitous exposition, a much better Itchy & Scratchy cartoon, and enormously more emotional punch, all while letting the jokes speak for themselves instead of explaining or pre-explaining them.  Furthermore, that incident is what prompts Bart and Lisa to go in search of Rabbi Krustofsky.  They can see Krusty is in pain, and they try to do something.  In Zombie Simpsons, Bart just kinda shows up from time to time.

It’d be one thing if Zombie Simpsons was just repeating things.  Twenty-six seasons is a lot of stories, after all.  But they can’t even repeat things competently, and the way they bungle characters, scenes and even jokes over and over again gives the distinct impression that they don’t care enough to try.

“I think there’s really something wrong with Santa’s Little Helper.  He was up barking all night and dug up the back yard worse than ever.” – Marge Simpson
“My bongo drums!” – Lisa Simpson
“My strobe light!” – Bart Simpson
“My Best of Ray Stevens, featuring The Streak album!  So it was the dog that buried all our stuff.” – Homer Simpson
“Yes.  The dog.” – Marge Simpson

Happy birthday Mike Scully!

“And if you ever want to visit my show…” – Jay Sherman
“Nah, we’re not gonna be doing that.” – Bart Simpson

Family Guy has been a raw nerved subject for Simpsons fans pretty much since it began.  This owes in part to the fact that no less a person than Harry Shearer has said that it was cooked up by FOX for the express purposes of squeezing the underpaid voice actors on The Simpsons.  (I don’t know if that’s actually true or not, but it certainly sounds like something FOX would do and Shearer is orders of magnitude more trustworthy than they are.)  Whatever the initial motivation, however, the fact remains that Family Guy came on air right as The Simpsons was crumbling, on the same network, and with the same basic setup, and that’s more than enough to put the word “rip-off” on the tip of people’s tongues.

Chasing the white rabbit of “who copied who” and “how closely” can be fun, but questions of creative influence and credit slip down bottomless holes when you try to pin them down.  There’s no doubt that Family Guy wouldn’t have existed without the success of The Simpsons, but there’s also no doubt that Family Guy is a different show with a different sense of humor and a different creative core.  Flame wars and exhausting discussions can rage in the borderlands between those two certainties, but, like most rabbit chases, they rarely produce any tangible insights or results.

Further complicating matters is the way that Family Guy itself has fallen into the same kind of comedic mediocrity as Zombie Simpsons.  It fell from a much (much) lower height, but, like it’s elder, it’s been reduced to going through the motions for years now.

Being cartoons, both shows are immunized against the inevitable aging that kills even successful live action comedies after a few years.  But critical attention and media interest have mostly moved on, and here in 2014, both shows are kept alive by habit and routine, on the part of the audiences and the staffs.  The people watching know what they want to see (Homer get hurt, Stewie say something evil, etc.), and the people making the show know how to meet those minimal expectations.  Both have become rote and safe entertainment, the kind of dull monotone that keeps enough people tuning in not because they want to see something new and exciting, but because they want something familiar and predicable.

That is the context in which the crossover episode must be understood, and the irony that a show long criticized for mindlessly copying The Simpsons has blithely followed it into senility is easily the most amusing thing about its bloated, double-episode runtime.  Family Guy, long a show that will happily acknowledge criticism even as it ignores the substance of said criticism, basically said so itself on Sunday:

Chris: Yay!  A crossover always brings out the best in each show!  It certainly doesn’t smack of desperation.  The priorities are always creative and not driven by marketing or-
Stewie: Okay, that’s enough.

As a one off joke or deflection, that’s not bad.  But the rest of the episode is a long, drawn out exercise in proving Chris’s sarcasm right.  The episode is laden with one-note crossover jokes about how this or that is slightly different on one show or the other.  Each character gets matched up with their rough equivalent (Peter and Homer, Lois and Marge, Lisa and Meg, Bart and Stewie), and things plow forward from there.  Homer and Peter are both irresponsible jerks, so let’s watch them be so in their slightly different ways: animate, rinse, repeat.

When they announced this ploy last summer, my official reaction was “meh“.  Having now sat through the thing, I don’t have much more to add.  The godmother of this kind of crossover is The Jetsons Meet the Flintsones, where, you guessed it, George and company go back in time to Bedrock while Fred and his family go into the future.  Each family member has to deal with living their life in the other time, fish out of water hilarity ensues (<- not really), and then everyone gets back at the end.  “The Simpsons Guy” is pretty much that.

It’ll be a curious little footnote in the history of both shows, but nothing that happened in the episode was particularly memorable or even really risque (at least by Family Guy standards).  Meg cuts herself, there’s a pointless rape threat (shock comedy is weak and often not even comedy), a waste of time music video, cameos from other FOX shows, and then Peter and Homer engage in one of Family Guy‘s trademark “chicken fights” before it ends.

The repetitiveness and lack of imagination on display are the real reason so many people said this was a bad idea.  Both sets of characters are long since played out, and watching them go through their motions with each other isn’t any more entertaining than when they do it a half hour apart.  Mostly, it’s just boring.