“I didn’t order this Skinner guy killed.” – Fat Tony
“But aren’t you the head of this gang?” – Prosecutor
“No.  I just stop by the club occasionally to read the complementary newspaper.” – Fat Tony
“Then who is the kingpin, the capo di tutti capi?” – Prosecutor
“That’s the guy!” – Fat Tony
“Hey!” – Bart Simpson
“Forgive me, Don Bartholomew.” – Fat Tony

Happy birthday Joe Mantegna!  

“Choke on that, causality!” – Professor Farnsworth

The Futurama gang has traveled back in time on several occasions and by several different methods, but usually when they do they manage to find something a lot more interesting than in Simpsorama.  They’ve looted ancient treasures, gone back to the American Revolution, and been in and around December 31st, 1999 more times than I can count.  But for an episode that goes and stays in (relatively) contemporary America, the best comparison is easily Roswell That Ends Well.

Both episodes put Fry, Leela, Bender and the Professor in fish-out-of-water situations, but Roswell That Ends Well not only gives them something meaningful to do along the way, it also puts them in an actually interesting place with actually interesting characters.  Simpsorama has dull characters lurch from one unconnected situation to the next, never developing any kind of momentum (story wise or comedy wise).

For starters, just look at the characters we get to see.  Simpsorama has the one-note remains of Professor Frink making lots of weird noises because that’s his catchphrase.  Roswell That Ends Well has all the government scientists who become increasingly frustrated in their attempts to study and dissect Zoidberg.  One of these gives you “glaven flaven” for fifteen seconds, the other gives you “Uh, it’s free” when Zoidberg thinks their experiment is a buffet, “the same deviled egg” during their old fashioned alien autopsy, and “The President is gagging on my gas bladder.  What an honor.”

Is President Truman coming on to Dr. Zoidberg? He’s not hearing a no.

Similarly, the entire Simpson family doesn’t possess nearly as much character as Fry’s grandparents.  While they can be secretly gay, get blown up in an atomic blast, sleep with their own time traveling grandson, and hear about how the implosion trigger functioned perfectly, the Simpson family has become so flat that they can do little more than repeat catchphrases, or, as the case may be, catch-actions: with Homer strangling Bart-clones being something they thought so funny that they twice did it repeatedly.

The respective settings are just as divergent.  Springfield is a shell of itself at this point.  The long established locales (Moe’s, Barney’s Bowlarama) don’t have anything left to offer, which is why all they could think to do in both was have Bender extend his arms.  There’s something we’ve never seen in either place: a robot from the future with really long arms!

The new spots, this mysterious horse track and (just for the hell of it) Panucci’s Pizza, were there as filler and fan service.  The first was another interchangeable locale for Bender to be a jerk, which would be fine in a regular episode but feels, shall we say, a bit undercooked in a long promised crossover.  The second was a quick and nonsensical reminder of one of Futurama‘s most memorable moments.  It didn’t need to be there, but it did check one more item off the “let’s cram stuff in” list, so I guess there’s that.

By contrast, in Roswell That Ends Well, we get an almost Simpsonized version of a post-war 1940s military base.  There’s the Sgt. Carter like lunatic NCO who wants to eat in the latrine, the obsession with secrecy that leads to shipping President Truman in a wooden crate marked “Canned Eggs”, and the blundering ignorance of the top military officials who can’t understand a theft minded robot carcass or a lonely and annoyingly talkative crustacean.  The whole thing is classic fish-out-of-water comedy and it provides plenty of opportunities for the characters to act like it (“You really don’t cook enough roasts, Leela.”).  Having Bender fit in at a few random Springfield locales isn’t.

The same is true of the Simpson family after they get sucked into the future (for some reason).  While there, they spend most of their time sitting around a table before easily herding the previously uncontrollable Bart-clones into Madison Cube Garden in time for the ending.  Sure, they went to the future, but we don’t get to see them do much, and since there isn’t much to do, the jokes are predictably lame:

Marge: Homer works at a nuclear plant.  He can help us get home.
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, are you good at your job?
Homer: I was voted employee of the month as an April Fool’s Day joke. [resume strangling]

And:

Lisa: Attention goblins, Madison Cube Garden is filled with Butterfinger bars, and people are laying fingers all over them.

It’s the usual litany of weak Zombie Simpsons writing (expository background, general nonsense, and Sitcom 101 setup-punchline-laugh crap), it just happens to be in the future.

Here you go, fans. Enjoy it.

To see how all of that stuff ads up to such weak television, just compare the two endings.  In both, Bender is stuck a thousand years in the past.  Here’s how it plays out in Zombie Simpsons:

Lisa: Wait, wait, wait!  You’re the portal?  How are you gonna get to the future?
Bender: The old fashioned way.

At that latest expository question and answer, Bender turns himself off for a thousand years.  In Futurama, we see the crew rescue Bender’s body and Zoidberg, steal the microwave dish they need, and then blast their way out of the base.  Bender’s head plummets back to Earth as he tells 1947 to kiss his shiny metal ass.  The episode has already shown us what’s happening, so we don’t need it explained, and we get a context appropriate, and extra bitter, rendition of Bender’s favorite saying.

When things get around to wrapping up, we also get two very different actions.  In Zombie Simpsons, Homer pours a beer into Bender’s deactivated head.  Bender replies, “Thanks, buddy.”  In Futurama, the crew finds Bender’s head and “rescues” him from what they think of as a thousand years of lonely torment:

Fry: Bender, what was it like lying in that hole for a thousand years?
Bender: I was enjoying it until you guys showed up.

So were we, Bender.  So were we.

“The dryer goes on the right.” – Woman
“Yes, ma’am.” – Jose Canseco

Happy birthday Maggie Roswell!

“Say, let’s bring him back to life by using technology!” – Future Guy
“Aye caramba!” – Bart Simpson
“Yay!” – Future Crowd

Unsurprisingly, there were a boatload of crossover reviews this week, everything from big publications to regular ole bloggers who just wanted to chip in their two cents.  We’ve got a bunch below, but having read even more of them than I linked, this appears to be the general consensus:

1.  It was better than the Family Guy crossover.

Outside of that, opinions diverged.  Some people really loved it, others thought it was just plain bad.  More than a few people from both camps wished it had been a double episode, either to extend the fun or to give it time to fix the problems.  In addition to those, we’ve got a couple of old episode reviews, plenty of .gifs, an unusual best episode list, a fan video, and lots more.

Enjoy.

Moaning Lisa: New Feelings on an Old Episode - Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this heartfelt rewatching of “Moaning Lisa”:

I don’t watch The Simpsons as religiously as I used to. Though I catch the occasional rerun, I usually have to wait a while until the station gets back to the earlier episodes since I have little interest in watching reruns of the newer seasons. And even then, I tend to avoid the first two seasons of The Simpsons mostly due to the rough animation, which is hard to watch sometimes. However, on this particular night, after a long day at work, I decided to just leave the show on in the background even if it was from the first season.

And I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. From the moment Lisa sighs her way through a day at school, uncaring, searching for an outlet through music only to be squashed creatively by her music teacher to the friendship she forms with Bleeding Gums Murphy, I could not focus on anything but the episode. Something clicked in my head and I felt the deepest and most sincere empathy for Lisa because, at one point in my life, I was just like her.

The whole thing is worth reading, especially for those of you who’ve felt the way Lisa does there (and who hasn’t?).

The Lydians - I don’t know enough about music to follow this deconstruction of the theme song, but it certainly seems knowledgeable.  It’s even got a correction at the bottom.

The Simpsons: Season 10, Episode 19 – “Mom and Pop Art” (1999) - A look at the episode, and some of the art and artists in it.

Task 4 – Kinetic Typography Outcome - A short text video of part of the SpiderPig song.  Neat.

“The Simpsons” (Season 5 episode 15: “Deep Space Homer, FOX) - This is what I keep saying:

By virtue of having a science-fiction plot there are plenty of set pieces that parody science fiction classics like “2001: A Space Odyssey” and “The Right Stuff.” Thankfully, “Deep Space Homer” doesn’t rely solely on references for its jokes. The bulk of the comedy comes from seeing Homer act in a situation where he’s plucked severely out of his element.

Zombie Simpsons writers, please take note.

“Simpsonrama” brings about nostalgia for cancelled “Futurama” - The headline sums up quite a few of the reviews I found, with this being a widely shared sentiment:

The crossover is a love letter to Futurama fans, the rabid fan base who had to recently go through a second cancellation over at Comedy Central won’t have much to complain about. However, it lacks in plot and motivation. While the character interactions are great and there are countless one-liners, it seems tacked on compared to some of the great story arcs that Futurama has produced.

Simpsorama: The Simpsons and Futurama Crossover Episode Review - Similar to the above, but more forgiving:

It was great, but could have been an hour long episode. Putting these two shows together was a great idea. the flow of the story went smoothly, but for the fans that wanted to see more of an interaction between the two shows, it could have been done better.

TV Review: Simpsorama - A very positive review of the crossover.

5-sentence review of ‘The Simpsons’ and ‘Futurama’ crossover episode - And a not so positive review.

Simpsorama! The Simpsons/Futurama Crossover Review - Again, this seems to be a common sentiment:

Whereas The Simpsons and Family Guy crossover episode earlier this year mirrored its double billing with a double length running time, Simpsorama is a brisk 20 minute jaunt which whilst is certainly funny, simply doesn’t have enough time to become anything more meaningful than an interesting footnote in each show’s history.

The ‘Simpsons’/’Futurama’ crossover: Two great tastes that go pretty well together - Entertainment gossip rag Entertainment Weekly did its best to be enthused:

“Simpsorama” wasn’t a great episode of The Simpsons or of Futurama, but it was a lovely little celebration, a tip of the hat from the class president to the kid who spends lunch breaks inventing new rules for Dungeons & Dragons. Also, Homer twisted the necks off of little green Bart mutants, which isn’t nothing.

Simpsorama - Seeing as how I thought the second production run of new Futurama was much better than the first, I wholeheartedly agree with this:

This crossover within Matt Groening’s universe is a lot more The Simpsons than Futurama. It is nice to see the Planet Express gang, but it left me wanting more after blurting “That’s all they can come up with?”
Now, can we get new Futurama episodes that would definitely be written better than “Simpsorama”?

The Simpsons: Simpsorama Review - That would be sad:

Excuses are the refuge of cowards, crossover shows are the refuge of cowards who have run out of excuses. Someday the future will be here, I mean, when you think about it, the future will be here tomorrow, but there will be a not-too-distant future in the far future and that future may be a future without The Simpsons or Futurama. Of all probably futures, the worst would be that this episode would be the only testament remaining of these two shows.

Let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

Every ‘Futurama’ Reference In ‘The Simpsons’ Crossover - I don’t know if it’s every one or not, but it’s not a great sign for the overall quality of the episode when so many are from the end credits.

Long gone. - Duffman graffiti in an abandoned building in Belgium.

Interview with Will Stateczny on Monkeys Need Love Too -But did you use your main finger?:

Where did you come up with the name “Topwise” and what are your hopes for Topwise Games?
Topwise comes from growing up watching the Simpsons. Most Simpson fans will know exactly what I’m talking about and where the reference comes from.

Indeed we do.

Interstellar…In 10 Words - Giant space ants would’ve helped, actually.

The TMCC’s Top Ten Episodes of “The Simpsons” - Unusual to see two Season 12 episodes on one of these, but there’s nothing past that.  Also too, this is more thoughtful and explained than most lists.

Treehouse Of Horror II – Episode #042 - Always liked that Homer and Bart bonding was so terrifying to Bart:

Now, what is it that jolts Bart awake? is it the idea that he has the power to turn his father into anything or was it the exchange of “I love you’s” Hmmm…..

Homer Simpson Wallpaper - Heh.

I used it be with it - Still one of the most timeless quotes in a show that has an awful lot of them.

PHOTO: Peter Budaj’s new Jets mask features fighter pilot Ned Flanders - Just what it says.

Lisa Simpson Hipster Pin - And she looks like Blossom.

Simpsons Homer Mr. Sparkle Pin - Join him or die.

Kitty Says Simpson Ay - Simpsons socks.  That is all.

Random Simpsons Screencap of the Day 11/11/14 - Heh.

Random Simpsons Screencap of the Day 11/12/14 - Comet heh.

Siblings’ intimacy - Some .gifs of Bart and Lisa’s memories from the end of “Lisa on Ice”.

“Now, no tour would be complete without a visit to Edison’s boyhood gift shop.” – Tour Guide

Happy birthday John Swartzwelder! 

“Camp is gonna be great!  Seven days without parents, homework or ear medicine!” – Milhouse van Houten 

The best thing to say about this episode is that at least the designers and animators had some fun (including David Silverman, who even got a line!).  Other than that, this one was a cheerless, contradictory mess.  There’s a new teacher, who’s some kind of psychotic, rule crazy nutjob, but who nevertheless is a regular at “Blazing Guy”, a Burning Man parody so uncreative that they actually tried to make fun of themselves for it.  Nothing we see of this guy would indicate that he would want to be so much as near “Blazing Guy”, but he’s in line for the great honor of setting the big statue on fire.  Was Zombie Simpsons making a point about not assuming what type of people might attend Burning Man?  Of course not.  In their world, him being an uptight prick in the first half of the episode has nothing to do with the second anyway.

- Decent (and short) couch gag for once.

- This show has deteriorated to the point that Chalmers yelling is now considered a go to gag.

- This teacher swapping scene isn’t a terrible idea, but dear sweet Jebus is the execution dumb.  Chalmers yelling and being afraid of this teacher doesn’t make a lick of sense, precludes them from making actual jokes, and makes this guy’s introduction serious instead of, you know, comedic.

- Oh, look, Willem Dafoe is back.  Also, he just cut his face for no reason.  Hi-larious.

- Bart has constructed a prank in the closet with a remote controlled car and a skeleton.  Enjoy it, because this episode moves so slowly they’re going to show it to us twice.

- Now Dafoe is hassling Nelson, who is helpfully expositing everything.

- He just gave Bart a haircut, so naturally the next one minute of screen time (at the Simpson dinner table) will be a rehash of that.

- Marge says that Bart should’ve gotten a balloon with his haircut.  Bart then has a balloon.  Hacktacular!

- And here’s the big swerve.  Marge mentions that there’s a camping trip.  She also asked Homer to book a reservation.  This makes so little sense that the show has Marge weep and exposit it.

- Now the teacher just punched through the blackboard.  Don’t ask.

- Then Milhouse stuck his nose through the hole.  Please continue not asking.

- Bart just got electrocuted with lots of sad music playing.  It’s weird.

- Milhouse just plugged New Zealand’s film industry for some reason.

- Bart helpfully tells us that he set up a camera in the teacher’s lounge.  That leads Lassen (which is the name they gave this guy) to helpfully exposit that he wants to talk to Miss Hoover on-line.  Bart then exposits that he’s created a fake profile for Miss Hoover, which means they can now see Lassen’s profile.  Everybody got all that?

- Meanwhile, Homer is on the phone begging for a campsite reservation.  Then Jason from the Friday the 13th movies shows up, murders the park ranger Homer’s talking to, and listens while Homer describes his house and his “pretty wife”.  It’s also weird.

- Bart and Milhouse are now sitting outside.  After Nelson and Lassen show up real quick for no reason, Milhouse helpfully pushes the plot forward by telling us that photos of Lassen were taken at “Blazing Guy”.  He then asks what that is before saying “Oh, that’s convenient” as he clicks on a video that explains it.

- The neo-hippie in the video explains that “this year’s” guy who ignites the statue is Lassen.  While he’s doing this, the statue, already on fire, burns in the background.  Shit like this is why I call the writing lazy.  There’s no need for that.  It isn’t a “cheat”; it doesn’t move the story forward; it isn’t a joke.  It’s just sloppy.  Either nobody noticed or nobody cared, and neither speaks well for the quality of the show.

- Bart then exposits that if they go there and film him, he’ll get revenge.  This also makes no sense, and Lassen’s profile already has such pictures, but whatever.

- Marge and Lisa are packing for the camping trip that for some reason she still assumes is going to happen.  Bart and Homer then show up to stage whisper to each other about going to “Blazing Guy” instead.  Marge and Lisa are still in the room and might’ve noticed this, but Zombie Simpsons doesn’t care about that.

- In the car, Marge reminds everyone that she doesn’t know where they’re going.

- For no reason and with no consequences, the family tent just blows away.  Because this show has the attention span of an inch worm, we knew it was going to happen because a random guy popped up to tell us that it would first.

- And Marge just got high on tea offered to her by a stranger.

- And now there’s a new tent.

- Ugh, they just panned over a bunch of “Blazing Guy” musicians while Lisa narrated who they are.

- Here’s another example of how shallow and pointless all of this is.  When Lisa first sees where they are, she happily declares it, “A world of anarchic free expression!”.  A few scenes later, we see her playing her sax in a drum circle, where she is quickly joined by more musicians who it seems like might be stepping on her toes.  (This is also David Silverman’s cameo.)  But instead of adding some depth to “Blazing Guy” by saying that maybe all the anarchy can get annoying, or that Lisa actually loves it, or anything else, they just exit Silverman stage right and move on.  The sum total of the Zombie Simpsons take on “Blazing Guy” is that people dress and act weird.

- Remember the plot?  The episode just had Bart and Milhouse spying on Lassen, including Bart helpfully reminding us of what they were doing.

- Marge being stoned gives them their excuse to eat some clock with a trippy montage.  Not before Homer gets hurt in the crotch and Bart reminds us again of why they’re there.

- Oh for fuck’s sake.  Bart and Milhouse are wandering around and Bart finds some “fire retardant”.  He tells us what the cans are, even though it’s stenciled on the side of each one.  This is this episode’s “opens a box of flesh eating ants”.  Bart then explains how it will work.

- Unnoticed by anyone, Bart has now sprayed the giant statue with “fire retardant”.

- Oof, Lassen is now using David Silverman’s tuba to shoot fire at Bart and chase him around.  And then Homer fires himself out of a catapult to collapse the statue.

- Yet more evidence that Zombie Simpsons cannot sustain a thought for more than a few seconds, Marge is high again, and even asks when the tea will get out of her system.  Not two minutes ago we saw her sober and talking with Homer.  But, hey, they wanted to go back to trippy montage, so why not?

- We get one final scene where Chalmers and Skinner fire Lassen.  It too is exposited:

Chalmers: So, where do you go from here?
Lassen: A place where my talents will be appreciated.

Turns out he’s a prison guard now.  And Sideshow Bob is there for a very brief cameo.

Anyway, the numbers are in and they’re pretty much the same as last week’s.  Yesterday, just 6.64 million people wished they had whatever drugs Marge was on to get them through that snoozefest.  That’s in line with what we’ve come to expect from episodes with football lead ins.  Next week, the late national game is on CBS, so it’ll doubtlessly be much lower.

“Kids have been doing that one since my day.” – Marge Simpson

Rather than get into the nonsensical pageant of the transmundane that was the last third of “Blazed and Confused”, I’d like to take a look at a small moment from the beginning that illustrates the general shallowness of this episode.  Specifically, the way that Bart’s closet/skeleton “prank” fails as both a prank, a joke, and as a part of the rest of the episode, especially when compared with Bart’s similar actions in “The PTA Disbands”.

While the backstories differ considerably, the immediate situation in both episodes is remarkably similar.  In each one, the kids have a new teacher about whom they know basically nothing other than, as Bart says, “They’re trying to teach”.  Also in each, Bart has prepared an elaborate booby trap to welcome the newly unfortunate teacher.  This is where the two episodes diverge.

In “Blazed and Confused”, Bart has hidden a remote control car and a skeleton in the closet at the back of the room.  His plan is to bump the car into the door a couple of times to get the teacher to investigate; when the door is opened, the skeleton drops from the ceiling, presumably frightening the teacher.

This is, to put it mildly, a very pedestrian prank.  It wouldn’t be all that hard to set up in real life.  Unless the person involved was very high strung or this was being done late at night on Halloween or something, it probably wouldn’t frighten anyone so much as briefly puzzle them.  For proof, look no further than “Bart Carney”, which did the exact same thing as an example of something that was indefensibly lame.

“That was just confusing.”

To be fair to Zombie Simpsons, upon seeing Bart’s hapless skeleton trick, Milhouse says that it’s only kinda scary.  So they’re aware that this is not one of Bart’s masterpieces.  But they still have him go through with it, thinking it’ll work.  It’s Bart doing what so many characters do in Zombie Simpsons: act contrary to who he is.  Similarly, later in the episode, Marge will blindly trust Homer to do something that the Marge of Season 6 would never blindly trust Homer to do.  The situations and story requirements are so dumb that they require the characters to act like lifeless versions of themselves just to get from scene to scene.

Bart’s prank, which they show us twice, is something the Bart of “The PTA Disbands” would scoff at.  He’s the kid who hung a giant log from the ceiling to smash some unsuspecting teacher back into the blackboard.  It would probably be fatal in real life, but that doesn’t matter because this is a cartoon and nothing bad actually happens.  Bart leaps to his mother’s rescue, and she, having nearly just killed, fondly intones that kids have been attacking their teachers Ewok-style since she was in school.

This is one of those multi-layer jokes that made this show so damned funny.  There’s 1) the over the top violence of it, 2) the fact that little 10-year-olds are vicious enough to plan it, 3) that 10-year-olds have always been doing that, and 4) that all of this is considered so normal that nobody is even upset.  And none of that even takes in the context: Bart having to be reminded of them by Milhouse, the list of already dispatched teachers, and Bart suffering the beginnings of the perpetual embarrassment of being one of his earnestly uncool mother’s students.

And Milhouse didn’t even have to stick his nose through the hole.

The blackboard shattering impact of the log isn’t any kind of stand alone joke or punchline.  It’s a fast and necessary part of a complete scene where each element complements and exaggerates every other.  The last line before it comes crashing down is Milhouse’s, “I meant the other bobby trap!”, a statement that wouldn’t make sense if we hadn’t already seen Bart brush the thumb tack off Marge’s chair, or rush up there in a panic, or the rest of the scene that explains what they’re doing.

By contrast, the last line before Season 26 Bart starts his effort at teacher warfare, is Bart saying, “I will not.  Anything to delay a spelling test”.  What spelling test?  What is Bart hoping this hapless thing he once saw in a broken down carnival ride is going to accomplish?  Cause this guy to run off screaming?  Prime him for the most traumatic hose soaking of his life?  We sure don’t know.  He’s trying to get out of something the audience neither knows nor cares about, and what he’s doing wouldn’t work anyway.  In and of itself, the prank is dumber and weaker, and outside of that it dangles (literally) in the middle of the scene with hardly a connection to outside events.

You can see this same isolation and lack of connection throughout “Blazed and Confused”.  The scene where Jason shows up to murder the park ranger was just a random thing dropped into the middle of the episode.  There are literally no characters at “Blazing Guy” other than Lassen.  Everyone else in attendance is just a one note blip, on and off the screen for whatever reason they happened to be there.  Lassen introducing himself in Skinner’s office hardly needed to be there.  And, given that his face cutting was probably the creepiest thing he did, the episode likely would’ve been better off without that entire scene.

Zombie Simpsons never bothers to weave a joke or a scene together with everything else.  They just stack a few things up and hope a couple of them land.  And if Bart’s prank doesn’t work, who cares?  Maybe the next thing will.  The Simpsons didn’t do that.  It made each part of the script, down to individual lines and words, aspects of a coherent whole that builds on itself.  That intrinsic context and support can make a murderous “prank” hilarious, just as not having context and support can drain the fun from great ideas, and leave bad ones hanging lifelessly from a thread.

“Egad, man!  How are we supposed to pass the time?” – C.M. Burns
“Best bet is to stake yourself out a good spot at the starin’ window.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

It’s another short Reading Digest this week.  As always we’ve got some good stuff, including an insane Lego video, the magical touch of Harry Shearer’s Twitter account, a sexually unusual farm animal, more clothing, and several great pieces of usage, but overall volume remains pretty low.  Not sure why.  Anyway . . .

Enjoy.

Fast Food Formations: Homer Simpson Built From Junk Food - Some crazy geniuses constructed a life size Homer (waist up, anyway) out of things like marshmallows and licorice, and there’s a video of the construction.  Excellent.

The Simpsons: 10 Deleted Scenes You Must See - This is one of those annoying pageview whoring things that makes you click for each entry, but they are all deleted scenes from the DVDs, so there’s some good ones.  Sadly, no video, though (via @DailySimpsons).

▶ Itchy and Scratchy in STAR GORE – (Lego Simpsons Star Wars) - Lego Star Wars, meets Lego Itchy and Scratchy in this blood soaked YouTube video.  I laughed when Scratchy got sucked into the engine on Luke’s speeder.  Thanks to reader David for sending this in.

GIF Life Lessons: The Simpsons – Seven Deadly Sins - Pretty much what it says, and only one is from Zombie Simpsons.  Personally, I’d have gone with Homer fantasizing about his body in “Duffless”, but that’s just me.

Bartman Simpsons Pins // Bart Simpson Vintage 1.75″ Pinback Button Badge 90s 1990s Avenger of Evil Bartman Rules Comic Book Super Hero - Ye olde Simpsons merchandise.

The Simpsons El Barto / Monorail / Pin Pals Badge Set 3 Original Pop Art Pinbacks 90s TV Pins | Picture Blog About Pinback Buttons - Three more.  An “El Barto” tag on the monorail is a nice touch.

Homer V. Simpson gets honorary street sign in Madison - This may be the most Wisconsin story you’ll see all day:

Homer Simpson made his mark in Madison long before a character of the same name became a cultural icon on the small screen.
Legend has it that Homer V. Simpson, a prolific gambler, won half of Antler’s Tavern in a poker game and bought the owner out of the second half in 1943. He also bought land around the West Broadway bar, eventually donating some to the city. Simpson Street — which runs parallel to Broadway — was named in his honor.

Everything’s Coming Up Millhouse - Awesome Milhouse van in Sacramento, photographed by a woman wearing her Milhouse t-shirt.  So . . . this is what’s it like . . . when doves cry.

On My Wish List: The Simpsons x Hello Kitty - The fashionable clothing has now had some crossovers of its own.

Ireland’s gay bull Benjy saved from slaughterhouse – National - Simon continues his good deeds:

He faced execution for failure to perform. But Benjy, the gay bull of Ireland, has been saved following a worldwide appeal backed by The Simpsons co-creator Sam Simon.
Ireland’s Animal Rights Action Network said Tuesday that Simon is paying for Benjy’s transportation to an animal sanctuary in England.

Every Sideshow Bob Episode Of ‘The Simpsons,’ Ranked - Unsurprisingly, the Zombie Simpsons episodes are all at the bottom.  Of course, they’ve crammed him in as a cameo a couple of times now as well, but I don’t think those are on here.

B+ Blogging - Excellent reference:

Due to recent injury to my left pinky finger, typing correctly is currently tricky. If using proper home row typing form, which I insist upon doing to eschew greenhorn-ish hunting/pecking, multiple keys become impossible to type, including one biggie directly preceding “b.” I’ll try to blog without using these letters, much like how Lenny, the Simpsons’ self-described “good work guy,” once begged for continued employment without use of the letter “e.”

Think before you speak (but not too much) - Another excellent reference:

The whole thing reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons where Marge thinks a woman named Becky is trying to steal her family away from her. While driving to the store, Marge laments over the fact that she didn’t use her brilliant comeback of “Shut up, Becky!” when she got the chance. Of course, by the time she gets around to use it, it makes absolutely no sense but in typical Simpsons fashion, it’s still pretty hilarious.

Tee 469 - The Sgt. Pepper’s cast image.

How to Germans Adapt to Watching American Television? - Germans might not like Uter, so in Germany they made him Swiss.  I learned something today.

Brush with Greatness: Harry Shearer and Me! - Nothing will improve your standing with your kids like getting a tweet from the voice of Otto and Burns.

“I am not steak. You can’t just order me.”* - A discussion of Mike Nichols movies ends with something that never hurts:

So what to recommend? How about “Lady Bouvier’s Lover” from season five of The Simpsons? Mrs. Bouvier!!

Hello, Grampa, my old friend . . .

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons snow winter… - Homer getting doused in snow in “Mountain of Madness”.

10 Categoric Reasons Why The Simpsons Is Better Than Family Guy - Reader Arvin sends in a pretty good list.  “Quotability” alone is probably enough to win this.

This Day in Music History — November 21 - Know your history, kids:

1991 : An animated Aerosmith perform Walk This Way on the “Flaming Moe” episode of The Simpsons. The band is one of the first musical guests on the show.

And Mrs. Krabappel stole Joey’s drumsticks.

“They swore they’d get us back by spiking our water supply, but they didn’t have the guts.” – Homer Simpson
“Ohhh, the walls are melting again.” – Marge Simpson
“Personally, I think I’m overdone.” – Turkey

Happy birthday Wes Archer!

“I have soy milk.  The doctor says the real kind could kill me.” – Milhouse van Houten

Happy (one day belated) birthday, Pamela Hayden!  

“Dos huevos, por favor.  Oh, que lastima.” – Bumblebee Man
“I gotta steal that bit.” – Krusty the Klown

Late last week, it was announced that Chesperito, a/k/a Roberto Gómez Bolaños, a/k/a the inspiration for Bumblebee Man had died at the age of 85.  Reader Alex from Chile, writes in:

He and his characters were loved in all Latin America and it’s easy to compare his shows rise and fall with the Simpsons, being the 70s the golden years of “El Chavo del Ocho” and “El Chapulin Colorado” and then from the 80s until now having nothing but the zombification of all his programs. Luckily in Chile we only have reruns of the best years of Chespirito’s career, but that’s another story.

We’ve got a couple of Chesperito links for you, along with some excellent usage, a giant tattoo, more fashionable clothing, quite a few .gifs, and the odd bit of Australian politics.

Enjoy.

Mexico comic icon Gomez Bolanos ‘Chespirito’ dies at 85 – Adios:

Known as Chespirito (Little Shakespeare), the Mexican’s work delighted children over four decades.

[…]

In 2011 he said: “Nicknames are the most essential in life, more valuable than names.”

Funeral Plans For Chespirito, The Simpsons-Related Mexican Comedy Icon [Videos] – If you want to see some of his work, YouTube has you covered.

Duffman Runner – An awesome Duffman costume (via @joggingjeans).

Simpsons-mad grandfather tattoos back with EVERY character from the show in world record bid – I linked this guy earlier in the year, but his back is done now, and David Mirkin brings the snark:

Simpsons Now – And speaking of Twitter, here’s a new account that highlights the awfulness of Zombie Simpsons ins a delightfully understated way.

Mental Health Minister Jack Snelling under fire for referring to former Liberal Leader Isobel Redmond as ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ from The Simpsons – Commenter P. Piggly Hogswine sends us this piece of Parliamentary bickering from Australia:

Mr Snelling was interrupted by former Liberal Leader Isobel Redmond while speaking on the State Government’s plans to reform the health system.
He responded by saying “Eleanor Abernathy is talking again”, referring to a character from The Simpsons who is described online as “the Crazy Cat Lady” and “a mentally-ill woman who surrounds herself with a large number of cats”.

The Real-Life Drawbacks of Aspect Ratio Preservation – Our old friend Nebel tells you everything you need to know about cropping TV shows for, uh, TV.

Sonic Boom Rise of Lyric: Should Sega give up on Sonic the Hedgehog? | Metro News – Excellent usage:

In spite of some bright spots – and crowd-pleasing visits to Super Mario’s world at every opportunity – his recent games haven’t been stellar.

It’s the sort of status quo which makes you wish someone would put this mascot out of his misery.

As said by a not-at-all-wise-child on The Simpsons: ‘Stop, stop… he’s already dead!’

Happy Thanksgiving! – Can’t have Thanksgiving without cranberry sauce a la Bart.

Family: A (Very Late) Thanksgiving Story – Illustrating family with “Bart vs. Thanksgiving” and the above linked cranberry sauce scene.

TV Review: ‘How Murray Saved Christmas’ is a rare, irreverent holiday special – The kids book that Mike Reiss wrote that got picked up as an animated special is airing tonight.

Hello Kitty x The Simpsons by JapanLA Clothing – Models modeling.  Also, there are bizarre hairstyles, I’m sure worn only for shock value.

Fashion Spotlight: Lisa Vs. The World, Bad To the Bone, and Bite and Fight – Not sure if these are actually still for sale or not, but Lisa in the style of Scott Pilgrim is pretty damned good.

Five Favourite Birthday Episodes – “Stark Raving Dad” tops the list, but there’s some other good ones here and plenty of YouTube.

Springfield, USA: Small Town and Society Through the Simpsons – A nice little writeup of “22 Short Films About Springfield”:

Rather, it seems as though the whole episode is concerned with exploring how the people of Springfield fit into the wider fabric of their society, and then by extension ours. The transitions create an entwined society, forcing us to think about the connections that we unknowingly share and the stories that happen outside of our context.

“All right, Rubbermaid; you just made THE LIST!” – Everyone should have a list.  Mad Jon carries his in his wallet.

Imagining a Live-Action Version of ‘The Simpsons’ with Celebrity Look-Alikes – These come along every so often, but Ed Helms as Frank Grimes is pretty inspired.

Trans life: the benefits of a urinal-free world – I learned something today:

There is an episode of the Simpsons in which Bart gets a job at a burlesque house. In one scene, he’s working the door when Grandpa Simpson arrives, whistling nonchalantly. Grandpa turns to hang his hat, keeps turning and notices his grandson Bart. Then, without stopping, he continues to turn, picks up his hat and leaves the same way he came in. It’s a perfectly smooth abort, the only giveaway being a slight widening of his eyes.
The clip is often shared in social media groups for trans men. Not because we are all huge Simpsons fans (though in my case this is true), but rather because this is the best representation of an experience only we can relate to – that of walking into the gents, seeing there’s no cubicle for a private pee, turning on your heels and walking straight out again.

Heh.  I can’t ever recall seeing a bathroom without a single stall, but I’ve never been to Britain either.

Kojak, Farrah, Rachel and Bert: TV’s greatest hairstyles – Marge justly tops the list, though I’d have put Mr. T higher.

Photos: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Through The Years – Scroll down for a great picture of the inaugural Bart balloon in 1990.  Be warned, though, some of the older ones are serious nightmare fuel.

When the Raven meets Homer Simpson – “Treehouse of Horror” remains a valuable, even bilingual, teaching tool.

TV Review: The Telltale Head – Heh:

I like how Homer gets extremely offended at the fact that monkey’s don’t go to heaven. Which sounds like a country song title.

Also, Homer talking to Bart about popularity remains a series highlight.

The Inappropriate Time To Say Hello! – Excellent real life usage:

Steve was indeed a gentleman but he was no salesman. In fact the team started to call him ‘Gil’ after a few weeks, which was the name of hapless salesman in The Simpsons. He took this bit of team banter very well and would even do the odd impression of Gil from the Simpsons, which was very accurate.

Best GIF ever? – I don’t know about best, but it’s pretty good.  It’s Superman (I think) quickly rotating through outfits of other characters, including Flanders, the Tin Man, and even Arthur from The Tick.

New trending GIF tagged tv cartoon the simpsons… – Burns “Excellent”ing.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons laughing taunting… – Marge, Homer and Lisa laughing at Bart’s stamp collection.

Can’t Get Enough of That Wonderful Duff! – Unofficially licensed beer tastes just like it should:

Surely an American company that tried this would lose the fight, but this beer is German, and Europeans love sticking it to America almost as much as they love protected place names. The beer itself probably isn’t too different from what the Simpsons creators had in mind. It really is a very ordinary mass-produced beer. The only hint that this is really a cheap German lager instead of a cheap American lager is that there is no hint of corn or rice in the flavor and there is a little bit of hoppy dryness in the finish, maybe even a touch of grass. I overpaid just because of the name, but if this were priced the same as beers of similar quality, I could definitely see my way to imitating Homer and drinking a lot of it.

That’s the idea!

Stupid Pop Stars – Sounds nice:

Been having a Simpson’s binge the last couple of days – Seasons 3 and 4, the halcyon days of the Simpsons. Stuff that genuinely makes you laugh out loud though I have to confess that at least part of the chuckles are nostalgic. When it was no longer about Homer’s stupid antics, when Lisa was less of a know-it-all, when characters weren’t caricatures and when Springfield could enjoy Troy McClure, Lionel Hutz, Edna Krabappel, Maude Flanders and Lunchlady Doris (all sadly missed).

Enjoy Seasons 13 – Present of The Simpsons – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us.  This blog is called “Things I’ll Never Do”, and it even comes with a nice cartoon.  Amen, sister.

“Hey, I thought Krusty was Jewish.” – Lisa Simpson
“Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.” – Bart Simpson

According to IMDb, this is the first whole episode Al Jean’s written in a long time.  Sadly, it didn’t seem to matter.  Homer goes on one zany little escapade after another, there’s plenty of expository nonsense, several musical montages that seem designed to do nothing more than eat clock (efforts at which fell so short that they added a preview of the next episode to help fill all twenty of their contractually obligated minutes), and the usual Zombie Simpsons problems.

- It’s probably longer than it needs to be, but this Christmas themed opening is actually a nice change of pace.  There’s even some freeze frame fun (all the Jewish characters are eating at the Chinese restaurant).

- The Peanuts reference to open the episode at least didn’t take long.  It didn’t have anything to do with anything else, but it was short.

- The Comic Book Guy thing with the Star Wars Holiday Special, however, did take too long and didn’t have anything to do with anything else.

- Bizarre kookiness starts early here, with Marge telling Bart to hold the ladder she’s using to trim the tree only to look down and see Maggie!  She falls, then laments out loud that Homer isn’t there.  Why did she think Bart was there?  C’mon, that was like four seconds ago, who can possibly remember that far into the past?

- Burns shows up for no reason to talk to Homer.  Then Smithers appears out of nowhere.

- The clip from Miracle on 34th Street is weirdly out of place.

- Homer’s at Moe’s because Moe made him crash his car (don’t ask), then is going to leave before Moe begs and screams at him to take pity on him and stay.  The obvious repetition is what’s supposed to make this funny, I guess, but that’s all it is: hey, Moe screaming and crying is funny, let’s keep at it!  That this is just the usual “Moe the Sad Sack” stuff makes it lamer still.

- Now Moe is telling us that he’s wrapped around Homer’s leg, and now he’s up on Homer’s shoulders.  Oof, this just keeps going.

- Moe was briefly happy, so he stabbed himself in the head with a corkscrew.

- Now Marge is telling us what’s happening, “One night, the one night of the year I want Homer home with his family, and he can’t even do that.”

- Then Marge tells us what she’s about to say.  Did anyone edit this?

- Homer’s driving around now, finds Moe’s closed, then goes to the Kwik-E-Mart where he spends the better part of a minute buying lottery tickets.

- This is what passes for a setup these days, “Aw, thanks for your honesty, Apu.  Is there any other product in the store you’d like to warn me about?”.  Such natural dialogue!

- Bart can’t get to sleep, so Lisa conveniently walks in to help put him to sleep by telling him the story of jazz.  But Lisa wants to talk to Bart, so her doing that for him directly contradicts what she came in there for and then does.  But it did eat ten seconds or so.

- Huh?:

Lisa: Bart this is the year I’ve got to nail Christmas.  I don’t want to be a jaded ten-year-old like you.

That leads to a flashback involving Homer getting electrocuted.  More importantly, what the hell is Lisa talking about?  That doesn’t sound like her or him.

- Bart then recaps the flashback, in case anyone missed it.

- More filler: this time, they play “Carol of the Bells” for ten seconds while Marge strings popcorn. Then they cut to Maggie eating it.

- Bart has a pipe, everyone’s awake late at night, and Moe just came down through the chimney for no reason whatsoever.

- After some desultory exposition about why Moe wouldn’t have knocked, Moe tells us that he’s the reason Homer was late.

- Marge then continues on the expository filler theme, “This is what I was hoping for, for it not to have been completely his fault.”

- Moe then kisses Marge because there’s mistletoe.  She calls Homer, who is now getting his car towed for some reason.

- Homer’s now wandering around the outdoor mall as more music plays.

- Homer then gets to a movie theater.  Sign gags being one of the few things they can still sometimes do, it’s “The Screens at the Shops At Towne Centre At Springfielde Glenne”.  That’s pretty good.

- Then we get into Homer setting up the sarcastic guy to tell him about all the depressing Christmas movies.

- Homer goes into the movie, where Gil, Kirk and some other people are there being alone on Christmas.  Homer then leaves.  So . . . that was pointless.

- Homer and Flanders then talk and bond, or something.

- Homer bought something from Flanders left handed kiosk, which lead to this:

Flanders: But why?
Homer: Because Jerkass Homer has become Assjerk Homer.

I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean.

- Now they’re hugging.  Then Homer runs away.  Even by Zombie Simpsons standards this is disjointed.

- Marge and the kids then went to the retirement home.  All the old people pop out to talk to them and it’s supposed to be after midnight by now, but we did get the Old Jewish Man saying “Make them turn the TV to CBS”, which is decent.

- Homer is woken up by a Nutcracker guy who turns out to be a mall employee who invites Homer to some bizarre mall party.

- Yet more piano music as Marge and the kids walk through a neon sign store that was supposed to be a montage.  It’s like two kinds of clock eating filler at once!

- Apparently they’re at the mall now, too.  I guess they ditched the old people?

- A giant gingerbread house just partially collapsed on Homer.  Carry on.

- Marge then appears, with a bow on her head, and says she’s Homer’s present tonight.  I, uh, whatever.

- And we (sort of) end on Homer making that beep-beep noise cars make when you lock them.

- We then get yet another musical moment of Maggie making a paper cutout and putting it on the tree.

- And then, because those twenty minutes won’t fill themselves, God and Jesus have a short argument.

- And then (x2), because this thing still isn’t long enough, there’s some kind of preview for next week’s episode that’s mostly a bunch of alien babies being born.

Anyway, the numbers are in and while they’re up from a non-football Sunday, they’re down from previous football Sundays.  Last night just 6.41 million viewers wondered when the last time the show had a decent Christmas episode was.  That’s down slightly from the last two episodes that had NFL lead ins, and may be the last football lead in of the year depending on how the playoffs get scheduled for TV.

“Look at how disciplined they are.  They’re just like the terra-cotta warriors of Xi’an.” – Lisa Simpson
“They sure are.” – Homer Simpson

First off, apologies for no Compare & Contrast this week.  I’ve got an unfinished draft that I promise I will finish next week, but this week my stupid real job got in the way.  For links this week, we’ve got a terra-cotta Bart Simpson, a Bonestorm blanket, some excellent references, a teaser for a Weinstein interview, a couple of lists, quite a bit of YouTube, and a chance to win a copy of the Mr. Burns play.

Enjoy.

This Is What Happens When The Terra-Cotta Warriors Meet Pop Culture – Oh, cool.  That Bart Simpson one is fantastic.

The Simpsons spinoff was once planned, reveals ex-showrunner – Twitter seems to be treating this as news, but I thought everyone already knew this:

A spinoff show from The Simpsons was once considered, according to former showrunner Josh Weinstein.  Springfield would have focused on the fictional town’s other inhabitants and was conceived in the mid-’90s.

The better news is that they’ll have a full interview on Monday.  Bonus: this is a nice backhanded slap at Zombie Simpsons:

“We felt at that time – around season seven – that we all knew the family so well, so let’s start exploring all these great side-characters,” he explained.

Two scientific journals accepted a study by Maggie Simpson and Edna Krabappel – This was making the rounds this week:

“I wanted first and foremost to come up with something that gives out the fake immediately,” the actual author of the paper, Alex Smolyanitsky, told Vox. “My only regret is that the second author isn’t Ralph Wiggum.”

Me fail science?  That’s unpossible to within a probability of 5%

Naming Rites: A Team Name and Mascot Blog – Destination Springfield: Celebrating Some Perfectly Cromulent Team Names – An exhaustive look at fake and real sports teams that have popped up in the show and on Zombie Simpsons.  (Thanks to @TeamNicknames for sending it in.)

Dan Shaughnessy vs. MLS: To Troll or To Ignore, That Is the Question – I’m with Paul & Lisa:

Petke’s retort is fun and makes for good blog headlines, no doubt, but the best course of action here is to ignore commentary for an columnist stuck in a 1987 world view about sports. Lisa Simpson’s and Paul Anka’s “Just Don’t Look” song from an old Halloween episode of The Simpsons often feels quite applicable under the premise if you don’t pay attention eventually (hopefully) they’ll go away.

Excellent reference.  (Shaughnessy is like 60 Minutes, his keen days are far in the past and he mostly exists to outrage old people.)

15 Best Comic Book Guy Quotes From ‘The Simpsons’ – There are far too many Zombie Simpsons quotes here, especially when things like “I have a master’s degree in Folklore & Mythology!”, “No groaning in my store.”, and “We’re racing for the title of the champion of the universe.” didn’t make the cut.

Every Christmas Episode Of ‘The Simpsons,’ Ranked – They did have the good sense to put “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” at #1.  And this may be the understatement of the week:

Oh, and the bit with Katy Perry and the Muppet Simpsons at the end was just a bad idea.

I still think that needs to be considered the “Star Wars Holiday Special” of Zombie Simpsons.  It’s that bad.

15 Homemade Gifts For the TV Fan In Your Life – #11 is a pretty awesome Bonestorm blanket.

The Animated Sitcom – A look at how animated comedies fit into the wider world of them.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons homer simpson… – He’s getting a pretty good sound out of that guy.

Cyclocross: the Groin Punch of Cycling Disciplines – Heh:

I am Hans Moleman. See my masterpiece, my finest production, it is me getting hit in the groin by a football. It is never not funny. In fact, the more it happens, the funnier it gets. It is pure parallax. High art medium, low art content. The two are not reconciled, and the impact could not had any other way. I am Hans Moleman, and I am racing cyclocross.

With YouTube.

The pointless Twitter accounts that will make you laugh every time – Our friends over at @simpsonsgreats make the list.

The Ten Greatest Songs of All Time: #9 – Rock Me Amadeus – A trip down memory lane, complete with Troy McClure YouTube.

Celebrities Who Look Like Cartoon Characters If You Add Variations To Their Face – I guess Jim Belushi could pass for Milhouse.

I Love Lazy Saturdays – We all sleep in sometimes.

Win A Copy of Anne Washburn’s Mr Burns! – The question isn’t the least bit difficult, but it would be cool to own a copy of that play that I swear I will see someday.

My 2nd Favorite Simpsons Gag – YouTube of the longest church hymn ever.

These Absurd Chinese Cop Cars Look Like Homer Simpson’s Designs – Photoshopping it in with Homer was a nice touch.

Long-lost teddies: The joy of being reunited with a beloved bear – And finally, here’s your “aww” usage for the week:

While in the car travelling down the M6 near Cannock, Staffordshire, recently, four-year-old Daisy Jewkes’s favourite bear, Old Teddy, flew out the car window. Distraught, she cried all the way home.
But there is a happy ending. After Daisy’s mother emailed the Highways Agency, the little girl was reunited with her toy bear last week.
David Smith, a manager for construction company Carillion, said: “I got the email and asked the guys to look out for the teddy and within days we found him in the central reservation. The look on the girl’s face was absolutely fantastic when she got him back.”
The hold a beloved bear can have on a young mind is quite remarkable. Just think of The Simpsons’ mean-spirited Mr Burns, whose otherwise concealed humanity is revealed in the episode “Rosebud” in which he reminisces about the stuffed teddy Bobo that he gave away as a child. He is overjoyed when he is eventually reunited with the raggedy toy through Homer’s daughter Maggie.

♫”Then all the reindeer loved him/
And they shouted out with glee/
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer/
You’ll go down in history!”♫ – The Simpson Family
“Like Attila the Hun!” – Bart Simpson

Simpsons Day was on Wednesday this week, and with it being a (relatively) big number, 25 years and all, it got more than the usual attention.  So we’ve got a lot of lists and retrospectives mixed in with some usage, a bit of fan art, one hapless defense of Zombie Simpsons, a couple of Hutz tributes, a pre-Simpsons David Silverman project, and several people who used the show to protest whichever high profile police killing we’re on now.  In addition to that, we’ve got several links about “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” and just how well it stands the test of time.  It’s true, and it’s nice to see people agreeing.

Enjoy.

(Oh, and I’ve still got that Christmas Compare & Contrast saved in the draft folder.  I’ll get to it, I swear!)

Christmas Merriment Review #17: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire [The Simpsons] (1989) – Like so many other links this week, Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is about that very first episode, and it’s spot on:

Yet the Simpsons don’t go unrewarded for their deeds. And that’s something that should also be brought up. The situation Homer puts himself through is not because of his own greediness (like in the later episode”‘Tis the Fifteenth Season”), but simply due to circumstance. He does what he does because he wants his family to have a merry Christmas of their own, even if it means he has to overwork himself to do it. He goes through his own internal struggle trying to be as successful as Ned, but never finding the means to. Yet his actions in this instant are pure and we root for him to succeed because of it.

This and that: “Um Dasher, Dancer… Prancer… Nixon, Comet, Cupid… Donna Dixon?”* – More love for “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” (among other things).

bathimpact advent calendar, december 17th 1989: The first episode of The Simpsons airs – I keep telling everyone the kids are alright, and here’s more evidence with a college kid talking about how well “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” has aged.

The Simpsons’ First Episode Is 25 Years Old And You NEED To Watch It Again – Yes:

Sometimes it’s odd to go back to the first episode of a long-running show and see just how drastically different everything became since, but while it’s fun to notice little things like Moe’s appearance and Ralph Wiggum’s lucidity, it says a lot that, actually, this episode feels like any other golden 20 minutes in Springfield. The script is peppered with sharp one-liners and running gags (“And Bart… well… we love Bart”, notes Marge after already listing how well everyone else is doing) but behind it all is a heartfelt story driven by flawed and larger-than-life but rounded and empathetic characters.

Many standard Christmas movies will be doing the rounds over the next few weeks but for a quick bite-size gem, definitely see if you can dig out Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire. It’s 25 years old but it’s a little piece of television history that’s as enjoyable today as it was in 1989.

Embiggening English: The Simpsons and changing language – Via a whole bunch of places, a high falutin’ English blog takes a look at some of the words from the show.  I am distressed that “Yoink” isn’t mentioned, but otherwise it’s a fine read.

‘MythBusters’ to test scenes from ‘The Simpsons.’ Here are five that should be re-created. – Good suggestions.  As always, it’s worth noting that none of them are from Zombie Simpsons.

5-sentence review of ‘The Simpsons: I Won’t Be Home Christmas’ – Heh:

4. The got the dog, Santa’s Little Helper, at the end of that episode.
5. Fortunately, “Simpsons” characters don’t age, otherwise that dog would be as dead as I feel inside when I watch the show 25 years later.

Germany’s Homer Simpson is actually 85 – The guy who does Homer in Germany has no plans on quitting.

Simpsons 25th anniversary: Why every woman should love Lisa – There’s some Zombie Simpsons in here, but it’s pretty solid.  And there’s this:

8) Lisa won’t date Millhouse, no matter how persistent he is
The only person who loves Lisa more than us might be Bart’s BFF Millhouse Van Houten. He’s been trying to get her attention for 25 seasons, but Lisa won’t let herself be distracted. Why? Because she doesn’t like him “in that way”. When I was a teen I had many moments when I thought I’d probably go out with anyone who asked (who doesn’t want a boyfriend?) Then I remembered Lisa and Millhouse, and thought again.

Nobody likes Milhouse!

20 Normal Things Simpsons Fans Can’t Hear Without Laughing – Some of these are a stretch, but “Aurora Borealis” and “Default” routinely get me to snicker, even among company that doesn’t get it. (via @woohootriviaCHI)

The Simpsons: 25 times real life echoed the show – Some of these are also a stretch, but there are some good ones:

11. When the Rolling Stones toured, despite being in their seventies

Lisa is given a glimpse into the future in the 1995 episode Lisa’s Wedding, which was actually set in 2010. One of the episode’s jokes was a poster advertising the “Rolling Stones Steel Wheelchair Tour 2010”. In real life, the Stones toured in 2005, 2012 and 2014, and are still going strong. Singer Mick Jagger is 70, as is lead guitarist Keith Richards; drummer Charlie Watts is 72, and guitarist Ronnie Wood is a comparatively sprightly 66.

via @DailySimpsons.

Sorry haters, The Simpsons, which turns 25 today, is still really good. – This is your standard “but it’s been better recently” whine.  Here’s our permanent rebuttal to these tired argument.

Artist imagines the Simpsons joining the “I can’t breathe” protests – That same Italian guy who did celebrities and such as Simpsons goes whole hog on “I Can’t Breathe”.  There’s even a little story in there, with Wiggum doing media and such.

Art In Wake of Eric Garner’s Now Famous Last Words – Subway art in New York with Homer as the cop instead of Wiggum.

Mashup: Eric Garner + Simpsons – Not sure where this is from, but the CCTV cameras pointing away are a nice touch.

Lisa Simpson’s Yeardley Smith, shares her memories of The Simpsons. – Points for comedy:

2. “The day U2 came to record with us and one of the band members mooned our music director because he told him he was singing off-key.”

And for honesty:

5. “The money. Because it’s given me incredible freedom of choice — the greatest gift of all.”

The True Meaning of The Simpsons – Some love for both “Marge Be Not Proud” and “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace”.

Top 10 Holiday Sitcom Episodes of the ’90s – Both of which also make the list here.

The Simpsons Arcade Game – A video game review as a 25th anniversary celebration.

Los Simpsons y un mundo sin abogados – I can’t read this, but it’s about the show’s anniversary and has Spanish language Lionel Hutz YouTube.

An Ode “The Simpsons'” Lionel Hutz – And speaking of Hutz, who doesn’t love him?

Saturday morning routines – Good idea:

So here is the challenge: Pick a saturday, any saturday and instead of following your regular routine, stay in bed a little while longer and stream some saturday morning cartoons. Why not even check out Marge vs. the Monorail* and tell me if you agree.

The 10 best movie parodies in The Simpsons – There’s no Zombie Simpsons on here unless you count the Guillermo del Toro opening.

The Proton Transmogrification vs. Round Springfield – Someone did a compare & contrast between The Big Bang theory and “Round Springfield”.  You can guess which wins.

TV: My Christmas With…The Simpsons and Bob’s Burgers – Comparing “Marge Be Not Proud” to a Bob’s Burgers Christmas episode.

“Chanukah at Bubbe’s” is the best Hanukkah special you’ve never heard of – It’s like Jewish 80s Muppets, and David Silverman did the puppets (one of whom looks a lot like Bart).

D’oh of Homer: Professors employ TV’s Simpsons – The gospel of putting the show into schools spreads.

mmmmm donuts at work – .gif of Homer getting slowly closer to the poisoned donut.

New trending GIF tagged horror vintage cartoon the… – Sit with your family, Lisa.

Day 293: Keep digging! There’s a Simpsons reference in here somewhere! – Heh.

25 Best Simpsons Episodes Ever – This is from Time, and since Zombie Simpsons sucks so bad, they didn’t even have to change the list much from 2003.

Today Is The 25th Anniversary Of ‘The Simpsons’ Debut On Fox – This is an Uproxx open thread for Simpsons quotes.  Zombie Simpsons is not well represented in the comments.

Throwback Thursday – The Simpsons: Bart vs. the Space Mutants (1991) – Well put:

Bart vs. the Space Mutants is a licensed video game in the worst sense of the term. Something strictly for fans and something that will only become a worthy experience if you’re willing to overlook its shortcomings and spend an inordinate amount of time making small, incremental, and frustrating, progress. It’s not a terrible game by any measure, but it’s not something that has stood the test of time either. Not that it would have, as by the end of 1992 a further 7 video games starring Bart Simpsons were released on home console. And this is generally considered to be one of the good ones.

Happy 25th Anniversary – The Simpsons – Quoted in its entirety:

Forgot to say Happy Anniversary to my childhood – I mean, The Simpsons. 25 years ago, on December 17th, this beautiful, dysfunctional family was born.
I don’t remember a time when they weren’t on TV or in my life. So, thank you: Marge, Bart, Homer, Maggie and Lisa. Oh, and Santa’s Little Helper and Snowball V. Thank you all for being a constant in my dreary life.

Preach it, sister.  Preach.

“Homey, I think someone is saying hello.” – Marge Simpson

Mad Jon’s lovely and talented Mrs. gave birth to a bouncing, baby Beatrice this morning.  This is what he texted me:

“It’s a boy!  And what a boy!”

Mother and daughter are both doing well, and I also have an artist’s rendition of Jon right now:

Congratulations, parents.  You gave your little girl the worst possible birthday.  Merry Christmas.

“I am not cleaning that . . . eh, who am I kidding?” – Marge Simpson

Happy (one day belated) birthday, Tracey Ullman!  

Bonus Ullman:

“Now, each one of you take a floor and get started.” – Marge Simpson
“I call the basement!” – Homer Simpson
“Fine.” – Marge, Bart & Lisa Simpson
“D’oh? . . . D’oh!” – Homer Simpson 

With Christmas and New Year’s falling on Thursdays this year, the last two weeks have been somewhat disorienting.  With two of the biggest holidays of the year in the middle of the week, I’ve had to constantly remind myself what day it is.  And so, this morning, it dawned on me that not only was it Friday, but that I hadn’t put up a Reading Digest last week.  Whoops.  Anywho, we’ve got several year end wrap up links below, along with an unusually large amount of kick-ass fan art (including painted fingernails, Lego posings, sketches, and more), a couple of people who agree with us, and plenty more.

Enjoy.

“Mr. Burns: A Post-Electric Play” and the nature of stories and storytelling – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this detailed look at how they’re getting ready to put it on in Chicago.  Theater looks hard.

Fan Art Friday: The Simpsons by techgnotic on DeviantArt – A huge collection of fan art, much of which I’d never seen before (via).  Bravo, internet.

The Simpsons Road to Ruin (Ramones Album Cover) – And speaking of fan art, here’s the family as The Ramones.  Hey, I think they liked us!

That Name Again? It’s Mr. Plow! – Mr. Plow themed nail art (with underpants)!

The Refinement of the Decline – A 2014 review of the year in pop music illustrated with many Simpsons .gifs.

Using The Simpsons to Enhance Literature at Every Grade Level in High School – A high school teacher runs down some of the episodes she can use to teach literature.  There’s some Zombie Simpsons, but it’s mostly very solid.

Was the McBain movie planned, or are we watching The Simpsons with rose-coloured glasses? – Plenty of McBain clips here, but I don’t disagree with the conclusion in the least.  Nobody ever said it was all planned, it’s just that most crappy action movies are so formulaic that you only need a handful of scenes to basically recreate the whole thing.

Simpsons tour includes stops outside Springfield – Visitors to Eugene, Oregon can take a tour of some city sights that look an awful lot like those in Springfield.

25 Years at 742 Evergreen Terrace – A loving appreciation of the show includes this accurate if very weak defense of Zombie Simpsons:

We’re nowhere near the heydays of the mid-nineties, but it’s absolutely not the worst animated show on television.

The Perfect Nativity? – No nativity scene is complete without Homer, Marge, and some storm troopers.

The NBA’s ‘Simpsons’ Superfan Reveals His Favorite Episodes – I just got a new favorite NBA player:

This was clearly a man who’d spent his formative years at 742 Evergreen Terrace, so I asked him to come up with his top five (or actually six or seven) episodes.

“I’ve been thinking about this and it’s tough,” he says by phone. “That Golden Age is so good. There’s not really a bad episode – in my opinion – in seasons one to eight. Can’t find a bad episode.”

Lots of good YouTube and nary a Zombie Simpsons sighting at the link.

They Live! – An alternate casting of camp alien movie They Live! with Homer and company.  He came here to eat donuts and kick ass . . . and he’s all out of donuts.  Well done with dissolving .gifs to give you the right idea.

[Review] The Simpsons Minifigure Series – A detailed review of all of the individual Lego figures you can buy that comes complete with instructions on how to tell which one you’re getting.  At the end, he also staged some scenes from the show, and the “Grampa is shrinking one” is fantastic.  Plus there’s this:

Much like the house set, this minifigure series falls into the better-late-than-never category. “The Simpsons” as a show is long since past it’s glory days as the cultural phenomenon it once was. This is clearly evidenced by the show-specific accessories included with the figures, with all but one (Marge’s magazine) being from 10+ years ago. It’s kind of a double-edged sword as by finally getting these iconic cross-over figures, such merchandising is probably only further delaying the merciful plug be pulled on the TV show.

Thanks to reader Zach P. for sending this in!

Lego has new Simpson minifigs and a Kwik-e-Mart set coming in 2015 – And speaking of Legos, a certain subsidiary of Nordyne Defense Dynamics appears to be getting the block treatment.  All hail merchandising.

Character Profile 1: Lisa Simpson – Another internet love letter to Lisa.  You can probably guess which of her many famous scenes it ends on, but it’s too good to not revisit again.

Itchy and Scratchy – Good move:

Instead of being productive, I decided to draw Itchy and Scratchy as humans.

You can really see the resemblance in the mouths.  Excellent.

December Loot Crate Review: Anniversary – Including a cool Simpsons wallet.

Did Michael Jackson Actually Sing On The Simpsons? – A complete breakdown of Jackson’s appearance in “Stark Raving Dad”.

Q&A: Mitski on Losing Glasslands and Watching ‘Simpsons’ Reruns – Awesome:

How is Bury Me At Makeout Creek different than your previous albums?
It really comes down to instrumentation. My past two records were written on piano, with orchestral instruments. My third record was written on guitar for guitar, with traditional “band” instruments.

You referenced The Simpsons on the record’s title, are you a diehard fan?
I’m not! I just grew up abroad where there was very little English-speaking television, and The Simpsons was one of the few shows that aired on TV. During the creation of this record, I was casually watching an episode when Milhouse said that line [“Bury me at makeout creek”]. In that moment I just thought, “welp, that’s the album title.” Often times the most important decisions I make are the ones I don’t put much thought into.

The Biggest Reason We Steal Other People’s Ideas – George Meyer is wise:

To combat kleptomnesia, psychologists recommend reducing distractions and cutting down on multitasking. It can also be useful to minimize exposure to similar work. For example, comedy writer George Meyer avoided watching “Seinfeld” while writing for “The Simpsons” (16 seasons!). “I was afraid I might subconsciously borrow a joke,” Meyer told me.

The 10 best Christmas TV episodes – “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” comes in at #4.

tvDownload’s 2014 Rewind: The Ten Best Holiday Episodes EVER – The first episode comes in at #3 here.

We Love Legitimate Theatre: Mr. Burns, A Post-Electric Play – A review of the play when it was in Arizona, like most it’s very high on it.

Worst TV Moments of 2014 – The Family Guy crossover makes the list at #8.

The 5 Worst Pop Culture Moments of 2014 (Chris ZF version) – And #5 here.  It really was bad.

Scenes I Love: An Officer and a Gentleman – Indeed:

You know that a scene has become a cultural mainstay when The Simpsons did a parody of it which ended up being just as memorable as the original.

The D’oh of Homer: Professors employ TV’s Simpsons – Our old friend Denise DuVernay makes an appearance here, but if you’re reading this blog then you already know how inadvertently educational the show is.

Macro Photography : Maggie Portrait by LCoutinho – Simpson Lego figures working a camera.  Neat.

Day 5 in Peru, Part 2 — Ollantaytambo is a Fun Word to Say – Attention everyone: there is a Kwik-E-Mart in Peru.  That is all.

Fact Check: Episode of ‘The Simpsons’ didn’t really predict Ebola – Uh, Florida newspapers?  No one actually thinks they did.

Homer – Pretty good Homer pea-brain sketch.

Sketch O’ This Day: 12/31/2014 – And one of America’s favorite cat and mouse team.

Happy New Year! – Itchy & Scratchy on a wall in Vancouver.

Maggie Simpsons Earrings – Do it yourself Maggie earrings.

2015 “Homer at the Bat” Lineup – What might Burns’s lineup of ringers look like with today’s pros?  Click the link to find out.

Mini MAC Haul! – A photographic look at the Marge branded cosmetics.

A Quick Thought: Bob’s Burgers and The Simpsons – Don’t worry:

Now as I see the newer episodes I can’t help but think either, “Wow that was clearly just a stupid gimmick episode.” or just plain, “Meh..” However, despite this, I would hate for the series to just be straight up cancelled, because like Bob’s Burgers, I believe this series still has the potential to become great. The Simpsons has been torn up and down multiple times in its lifetime, and I believe that it can once again rise up from the ashes to become something great once more.

[…]

I would honestly much rather The Simpsons die as a beloved cartoon icon that was great than as an average cartoon that was just really old and had to be put down.

When the show does die, my hunch is that while people will remember that it was on forever, they’ll almost exclusively rewatch the good ones.

How To Watch The Simpsons…These Days – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us:

Certainly The Simpsons’ should have died over a decade ago- likely with a finale viewed by the most of the world in possession of a television, but as much as that affords you in artistic merit (e.g. Breaking Bad), it doesn’t bring in the assured pennies. The Simpsons- a most regrettable Cash-Cow.

Who knows what adventures they’ll have between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable?

The Simpsons get on the wrong ride on a trip to the Dizzneeland amusement park and are transported to Kang and Kodos’ home planet, where Homer finds himself on the locals’ menu.

Happy New Year everyone.  Let us begin 2015 with what has to be one of the most outlandish plots I can remember outside of the understandably far-fetched THOH stories. I don’t know what else to say except “Sorry but there’s profit to be had.”

“Are you going to need us tonight?” – Kang
“I had ballet tickets!  Not that they’ll do much good now.” – Kodos 

It’s now clear that Al Jean and David Mirkin (who co-wrote), and David Silverman (who directed), would much rather be working on Futurama than Zombie Simpsons, and I don’t blame them.  Like various Star Treks, that show gave its writers and directors a functionally unlimited amount of creative leeway.  Need to make fun of something?  Make up a new planet or a new species or a new anything and there you go.  Zombie Simpsons, on the other hand, is rigidly straight-jacketed by twenty plus seasons of stories and the need to keep the show basically the same as it’s always been lest habitual viewers lose interest.  The very existence of Futurama is a testament to the fact that Groening and company were getting bored with The Simpsons after ten seasons; and now, after sixteen more years, Jean and Mirkin seem to feel the same way.

So, what was this thing?  Well, it was either a relatively creative episode of Zombie Simpsons or a relatively weak episode of Futurama, depending on how you look at it.  To give you an example, near the end, Homer uses the same Dickens quote that Shatner does at the end of Star Trek 2.  It’s not even trying to be funny or anything, but as a Star Trek reference, it’s outstanding and a very Futurama thing to do.

None of this story needed the Simpson family to be there, and the whole thing would’ve been less awkward generally with the Planet Express crew than residents of Springfield, but what are you gonna do?  That show got cancelled, this one is still on, and it’s not like having Kang and Kodos in a regular episode is going to lower anyone’s respect for the show or defile it’s history.  That damage was done long ago.  Tacitly acknowledging that by discarding all the rules for an episode about a weird alien planet that’s crammed full of sci-fi references and sign gags is fine by me.  I’ll even go so far as to say that this is the best episode of Zombie Simpsons since probably “Trilogy of Error” back in Season 12.  It’s weird and chaotic, but for once those things are intentional.  Well done, Messrs Jean, Mirkin and Silverman.

- Couch gag is relatively brief, always a plus, and actually works with “Pictures at an Exhibition”.

- I understand that the “Are We There Yet” scene is meant to be a callback, but there’s way too much drawn out Homer aggravation.

- Ethnic Princess section is pretty good, but didn’t need Marge to exposit it.  This will be a repeated problem.

- As a counter example to the above, the State of Mickey (or whatever) with a sign advertising $7 pretzels only works because nobody read it out loud.

- The bug scene wasn’t bad, and there is a certain catchiness to “Certain death awaits if you get off the bug”.

- As usual, the pre-explanations of the jokes never help.  Yoda saying “Purchased for $4 billion, I was” is just fine on it’s own without first reminding everyone that Disney owns Star Wars now.

- The busty figurehead reading “Our Bodies, Ourselves” and the rest of the politically correct Pirates of the Caribbean ride is the same.  Really didn’t need Lisa explaining it when they already had a sign that said “Politically Correct”.  One is enough.

- Look, a sign gag that works and didn’t have anyone explaining it:

- This thing with everyone getting melted in the Cool Zone is very Futurama-ish.

- Ditto the screams of terror from the people on the “Let-Go Loop”.

- The sign gags are actually decent:

- “The kind of fun that attractive families have in commercials” isn’t bad.

- And the “Continue Spending” sign being pulled by the plane during the cutaway to the bench line works too.

- And we’re going into space on a flying saucer.  When they disconnect the rest of the episode from the opening these days, they really disconnect it.

- And in the first of what will be many, many, many Star Trek references, there’s the bridge noise from the original series.

- “This isn’t Halloween!”, we know.

- Okay, it was a little expository, but I did like “easily reassured fool”.

- Oof, this potato chip scene with the Blue Danube playing goes on way too long for a callback to Season 5.

- Stuff like flying past a game of Asteroids, also very Futurama-y.

- Though I could’ve done without Homer repeatedly chopping off his own hand, and then growing one on Marge’s head.

- I’m going to assume the symbols on those animated billboards (“Have your cups lost their suck?”) is also a Star Trek reference.  Klingon, maybe?

- So, that was a little weird.  The lights just went out and Kodos turned on a flashlight, then the lights were back on.

- “We have federal rebates for the panels, but few take advantage of them.”

- The multi-birth thing, feh.

- Further cementing my suspicion that this is actually an episode of Futurama, the family is now the attraction at a zoo.  Where have I seen that before?

- More good sign gags that (gasp) didn’t have themselves exposited:

- There’s even an alien doctor who doesn’t know basic human anatomy. Why not Zoidberg?

- Seriously, there’s a FORTRAN joke!  Jean didn’t have FOX goons kidnap David X. Cohen and Ken Keeler, did he?  Have people seen them recently?  Are they okay?

- Putting it to a vote seems like a very un-Marge thing to do.

- And the voting scene goes on too long generally.  Though it was kinda funny that Homer wrote “The Boy”.

- And there’s our ultra obscure Star Trek 2 reference.  Shatner mumbles that line so badly that I didn’t recognize it for a long time and I doubt I’m the only one.

- A lot of the voices don’t sound like themselves anymore, but Shearer’s Vin Scully remains very close to the original.

- “His hobbies include, sitting, lying down, and reaching for things without success.”

- There’s been plenty of the usually “meh” Zombie Simpsons animation here, but this scene with the children’s choir is pretty neat.

- They can’t break all their bad habits, though, “A transporter beam, someone is trying to steal our sacrifice” is about as unnecessary as exposition gets.

- Tell me this doesn’t sound exactly like something Prof. Farnsworth would say, “Space Broccoli has the most advanced feelings of any creature in the universe.”

- This Matrix 2 joke isn’t bad, but didn’t need to be nearly that long.

- There are a lot of freeze frame sign gags here, way more than usual.  The only thing that was close recently was the end credits of the Futurama crossover:

That whole thing is on-screen for less than a second and it’s enjoyably sclerotic and absurd.

- “Seriously, are we listening to the same guy?”

- “Why do you care?  It’s just your sex mate and spermlings.”

- Here’s some good animation combined with more good freeze frame sign gags:

They pop in quickly enough that while you can see them, there’s no way you could read “The Complete Works of Shakespeare Made of Chocolate” without pausing.  Also, that is dead Rod and Todd there, which is way bleaker and darker than you normally see on Zombie Simpsons.

- And while this thing is really unevenly paced overall, it moves well here at the end.  Homer going back to save his family obviously isn’t going to work, but they don’t draw it out at all, just hard cutting to “All will be eaten”.

- The glaze thing, on the other hand, takes forever.

- This ending kinda drags, though.

- But on the good side, this “So it will be as if none of this ever happened” callback is the only one.  They don’t repeat it ad nauseum like, oh, say, “Everything fits together” yada yada.

- They’ve now dropped any remaining Star Trek subtlety, but it’s kinda fun.

- “Like three bean salad at a barbecue, we will remain untouched.”

- I try not to be a sucker for cheap fan service, but Clausen hits one out of the park with this Star Trek version of the ending theme.

- And posing all their characters in Star Trek scenes was a nice send off.

I mean what I said about “Trilogy of Error” above.  Like that one, “The Man Who Came to Be Dinner” is deeply unusual in a way that even their three-part “storytelling” episodes aren’t.  Aliens, melted tourists, a panoply of Star Trek stuff, it’s generally more bizarre than it is outright funny, but none of it is any weirder than, say, killer robots, talking bar rags, popped eyeballs, and the host of other assorted shit they’ve done.  At least this time they’re acknowledging it instead of asking us to take them seriously.

Helpfully, it is almost completely devoid of the string music of suspense and the weird seriousness that drags down so many Zombie Simpsons episodes.  They acknowledge right at the start that wacky and (appropriately enough for Star Trek) non-canon stuff is going to happen, so even when Homer or the family is in danger of getting eaten, it’s played as 100% silly with no pretending there’s any real danger or drama.

None of which is to say that it doesn’t have problems.  This is still Zombie Simpsons we’re talking about, so there’s the usual array of them: too much exposition, half-hearted slap stick, general filler, etcetera.  But like “Trilogy of Error” and unlike most Zombie Simpsons episodes, this one had a premise and stuck to it.  That premise may have been crazy and weird, but a lot more care and thought were put into this than most, and it shows.

Anyway, the numbers are in, and I can just let TV by the Numbers explain:

The Simpsons earned a adults 18-49 rating, up 59 percent from a 2.9 for its most recent original episode. It was the show’s highest rated episode since January 5, 2014, when it also followed a playoff game.

Last night, 10.51 million people wished Futurama had gotten another season.  This is why networks like FOX pay such ridiculous amounts of money for football.  Sadly for the numbers, however, both of FOX’s remaining Sunday games are early and won’t lead in to primetime.  But for once, the numbers are good, and even more unusually, there was something sort of worth watching.

“I am the wondrous wizard of Latin!  I am a dervish of declension, and a conjurer of conjugation, with a million hit points and maximum charisma!” – Martin Prince 

This seems to be the week for rare, higher quality stuff, and while there are fewer links than usual below, what we lack in quantity we make up for in quality.  There are three or four that would be a Link of the Week most of the time, including the Latin language link, the six eras of the Simpsons link, the 9 minute video about Homer, and the one about movie plots.  And that’s not all!  We’ve got the family made out of snow, a great fan painting, a couple of looks at Season 1, and more.

Enjoy.

Latin on “The Simpsons” – An impressively thorough recounting of the many ways Latin has been used and abused on the show.  Also, there could even be a Latin root for cromulent:

The most famous coinage on “The Simpsons” is “cromulent,” which has become a perfectly cromulent word meaning “authentic” or “legitimate,” ever since its initial appearance in “Lisa the Iconoclast” (3F13, 1996). I’m sure writer David X. Cohen coined it with no thought for its possible etymology, but given that adjectives ending in “-lent” are usually derived from Latin, I propose an etymology from the Latin word “croma,” a first declension noun defined by the 1982 Oxford Latin Dictionary as a “surveying instrument for taking bearings to fix lines of orientation.” The noun’s diminutive form would notionally be “cromula.” I know no other Latin word with the root “crom-,” and it’s easy to imagine that a small instrument whose purpose is to measure straight, accurate lines could yield an adjective meaning “legitimate” or “authentic.”

Watch S2E17 – Homer Simpson – This is a 9 minute video with a talking cardboard box describing the rise and fall of Homer as a character.  The premise gets a little wobbly near the end (I only buy one shift in Homer, not two; and I don’t think According to Jim and various other terrible shows influenced Zombie Simpsons much, if at all), but overall it’s very well done and uses big words in addition to simpler ones:

“The Homer of today is very different from the Homer the show started out with.”

Bristles Babbles #22: The Simpsons Season 1 Review (1989-1990) (SPOILERS) – I got the above link from this thoughtful dissection of Season 1, including this which I’d never noticed before:

Yet another slip-up in episode 8 that I managed to catch on to just by being lucky enough to pause at the right moment comes when the chalkboard gag “I DID NOT SEE ELVIS” changes for a frame before it goes off screen to “I WILL NOT WASTE CHALK”, which was the gag from episode 2.

It really was just a single frame:

Good eye.

Season One: In Retrospect | You Don’t Win Friends With Simpsons – And speaking of Season 1, our old friend Noah P has started a rewatch them all blog.  Here’s his Season 1 retrospecticus with links to each episode.

Saturdays Of Thunder – Episode #044 – And speaking of watching every episode, Ash is up to the National Fatherhood Institute.

Movie plots I have pieced together from The Simpsons – We’ve all had the experience of seeing a movie and thinking, “Wait, I saw that on Simpsons”.  And there’s nary a trace of Zombie Simpsons.  Well done.

Review: The Simpsons: “The Man Who Came To Be Dinner” – I rarely read other reviews of Zombie Simpsons, but this being kind of a weird week, I did read this one.  I am unimpressed.  The author has given a “B-” or higher to every episode so far this season, then he writes stuff like this:

It would be a lot easier to make the case that The Simpsons still has value if the people behind the show seemed to give a damn. But an episode like “The Man Who Came To Be Dinner” is a product of such slapdash, breezy disregard for what makes The Simpsons The Simpsons that it functions as a dispiriting signpost to the show’s hastening irrelevance.

And this:

The Simpsons has survived because of that world and the characters in it—that’s why it can stretch itself into ludicrous shapes for an episode and spring back to its original shape unharmed by the next. The show has rules, the characters have integrity, and actions and emotions have consequences. When “The Man Who Came To Be Dinner” just says, “fuck it” and throws the show’s reality out into space, The Simpsons is left just drifting there, unmoored from what makes it itself.

And that’s not true of pretty much all Zombie Simpsons . . . how, exactly?  Everyone gets their own opinions on the internet, but if you’re willing to swallow – just so far this season – Moe coming down the chimney, an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon without Itchy, Homer getting repeatedly washed overboard during a hurricane, a giant & secret drilling rig in the middle of Evergreen Terrace, and all that weird, magical shit at Burning Man, how does Kang and Kodos cross a line?  The show lost all of its dignity and rules a long, long, long time ago, lamenting that this episode somehow damaged something is illogical and inconsistent at the very least.

The Way They Was: Six Totally Different Shows The Simpsons Has Been – Thanks to reader Cory F. for e-mailing this in, and thanks to the at least two people who linked us in the comments.  I don’t think you can chop up the early seasons with quite that much granularity, but this is one of the more inventive takes on the show I’ve read in a while.

The Simpsons Go Original Star Trek – A rundown of some of the Star Trek references from last week’s closing credits.

In the veganning: Part 1 – A conversion to veganism explained (partially) through the medium of Simpsons references:

When I figured out that lamb chops came from lambs (my Lisa Simpson moment), I refused to eat them anymore.

In Tune With The Drip by Duane Gavins Jr. – Absolutely excellent fan made painting(?) of Lisa and her sax.

Making the Best of Snow – Among other things, there’s a guy next to the entire Simpson family on a snow couch.  Bravo, good sir.

The ‘Mythbusters’/’Simpsons’ Crossover Finally Has A Trailer – Crossover seems like the wrong word here, anonymous headline writer person.

Characters tackle post-apocalyptic challenges in Simpsons play – The play is headed to Albuquerque.

TV Legends Revealed | What Famous Guest Wouldn’t Let ‘The Simpsons’ Make Fun of Him? – But that’s because he was the greatest entertainer in the world.

New trending GIF tagged tv the simpsons pizza… – We got everything we need on you.

‘Bartman’ Outsells ‘Batman’ In France, And So Do These Other Comics – Not much to this more than the headline, but it’s kind of interesting.