“The watchdog of public safety, is there any lower form of life?” – C.M. Burns

It would be one thing if Zombie Simpsons merely repeated ideas and stories that had been done on The Simpsons.  Given the enormous catalog of episodes, it’s certainly understandable that scenes and concepts would need to get recycled from time to time.  Hell, that was understandable way back in the heyday of the show.

For example, Season 2’s “Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish” has a great nuclear plant inspection, where we see gum used to seal a crack in the cooling towers, a plutonium paper weight, and ankle deep toxic waste.  But all that doesn’t detract in the least from the inspection in Season 5’s “Homer Goes to College”, because instead of showing us the same things again, it gives us a completely different set of horrifying looks into Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.

Looks comfy.

For starters, the inspectors show up during nap time, where meltdowns are averted by sleepy hound dogs and Smithers is curled up at Burns’ feet.  When the surprise inspection team rings the bell, Burns denies them entry and tells a pathetic lie about old fashioned cookies before the inspectors start hacking at the door with an ax.  The inspection hasn’t even started yet and already The Simpsons is at full speed, tossing off jokes and ludicrous ideas as fast as possible.

Compare that to the – ahem – “inspection” in “My Fare Lady”.  Instead of nap time and Homer falling asleep on the “Plant Destruct” button (“Please Do Not Push”), Burns just happens upon Moe, who has been hired as a janitor, mopping the floor.  (This whole thing is so inconsequential that we don’t even get an establishing shot and a crow screech.)  That immediately leads to a standard Zombie Simpsons joke, wherein the punchline takes forever to arrive, and is patiently explained to the audience:

Burns: Hey, swabbie, you missed spots there . . . another one there . . . and there!  Every other spot is begrimed!
Moe: It’s called a checkerboard floor, you unwrapped mummy.

At that, the camera helpfully pulls back to show us the aforementioned checkerboard floor.  Hi-larity.

No sooner has that happened then Smithers walks up with a bunch of inspectors in tow, “Sir, the NRC is here for a surprise inspection”.  Huh?  Even by the standards of incompetent Zombie Simpsons Burns, this is head spinning.  These guys just waltzed into the plant without Burns (or Smithers, apparently) even knowing they were there?  Somewhere, Season 5 Burns is scoffing at his successor’s haplessness.  One second they’re not there, the next they are; there’s no lie about cookies, no ax, no nothing.

In Season 5, once the inspectors do get in, we see them testing the plant employees while Burns and Smithers gaze down from above.  Except, of course, for the three workers who’ve been strategically diverted down to the basement with the important job of keeping a bee in a jar.

I always wondered what these guys did at the plant.  Accountants?

Down in the basement we see a glowing rat, dripping ooze, and several spilled barrels of toxic waste.  No other mention of them is made because it doesn’t need to be.  Moreover, the inspectors have no idea these three geniuses (and the improperly stored nuclear waste) are here.  They’re in the parking lot testing the employees.  Here’s the Zombie Simpsons version of the same thing:

See the glove?  The inspectors didn’t.

While Moe asks penetrating questions like, “You’re the head inspector, huh?”, nothing else happens except the unacknowledged gas leak and the slowly inflating glove.  It’s easily the best part of this scene, but it also makes the inspection team even more bland and boring than they already were.  (Thanks for the meandering story about your Queen cover band.)  The scene is Moe telling them they can’t come in after they’ve already come in, followed by them, despite already being inside and being, you know, federal nuclear inspectors, meekly accepting that and shuffling off screen.

This is basic stuff, the audience getting to see characters with personality do things instead of just listen to somebody we don’t know talk about something we don’t care about and can’t see.  To be fair to Zombie Simpsons, the inspection in “Homer Goes to College” is given more screen time, so things like nap time, bee guarding, and Homer causing a meltdown without any nuclear material being in the truck have a chance to breathe.  But it’s not like “My Fare Lady” was crammed with other great bits.  The episode has three different driving montages, one of which goes on for well over a minute.

Not that extra time would’ve helped.  More lines for incompetent Burns, more background jokes explained, and more of the nothingburger inspection team aren’t going to make “My Fare Lady” any better.  When the NRC shows up in Season 5, there’s a big ominous musical cue, and they begin to methodically test employees.  These nondescript cardboard cutouts (only one of them even speaks) get silence and deserve it.

“I’m the king of the world!  Woo-hoo!  Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson

The first and best link we have this week is a fan made poster of Homer’s disastrous attempt to teach Bart a lesson.  I cannot recommend it highly enough.  After that there are a bunch of other links to great fan made stuff, including Legos and crayons.  And after that, we’ve got the play moving to America’s wang, a whole website dedicated to Simpsons tattoos, idiotic donut marketing, and more.

Enjoy.

Cool Stuff: Official Mark Englert Simpsons Poster – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this high res poster of Homer not making over Springfield Gorge.  Outstanding.

It’s December 1941 in Casablanca. What time is it in Springfield? – As usual, the fading .gifs for the casting images are great, and “Dr. Wolfe as Major Strasser” is an inspired pick.  But I don’t think Wiggum is smart enough to be Captain Renault.  Rex Banner, maybe?

Milhouse – A fan made Lego Milhouse head.  Click this.  It even has his little cowlick.

Crayola Mini-Scultures of Bob’s Burgers, Simpsons, Groot, and More – The family carved into crayons.  Excellent.

Worst. Tattoos. Ever. – There is an Instagram just for Simpsons tattoos.  Neat.

Matt Groening and Lynda Barry: A loving and productive friendship. – Always nice to see them together:

“We disapprove of each other,” Groening said, after he revealed that he’d once asked Barry to marry him. (Her response: “THE HELL!”) She hates his swank Malibu house, and he calls Wisconsin, where she lives, “colder than Scott Walker’s tit.”

Bart Gets Hit By A Car – Season 2 often creeps up on the unsuspecting:

Well, here’s an episode that’s even better than I remembered. It’s sorta like “Simpson & Delilah”; I remembered it being good, but not as good as it actually was.

I barely moved all day the first time I got my hands on the Season 2 DVDs.

Pop culture unplugged: ‘Mr. Burns, a Post-Electric Play’ opens at The Hipp – The play goes to Florida, where “post-apocalyptic” just means “Wednesday”.

This Website Tells You Which Episode Your Favorite ‘Simpsons’ Quotes Come From – Daily Simpsons alerted me to this on Twitter.  It’s kinda fun.

Every Scene In “22 Short Films About Springfield,” Ranked – Our old friend Johnny Sugar naturally puts Skinner and the Superintendent at #1.  (Good YouTube there.)

[VIDEO] Christopher Lloyd On ‘The Simpsons’ — Plays Taxi’s Jim Ignatowski – Yes, that was Doc Brown last week on Zombie Simpsons.  No, nobody cares.

Homer Simpson Desk – A fan made animation of a desk way more complicated than Homer would ever use, but that is pretty cool nevertheless.

‘The Simpsons’ Fan Theory: Has Homer Been In A Coma For 20 Years? – No.  This has been simple answers to simple questions.

The Simpsons Is Now Streaming At 4:3, Too – Our long national nightmare is over.

Krispy Kreme Accidentally Promotes KKK Wednesdays, You Know, For Kids! – Via pretty much everyone, British outlets of American donut factories are not the best at marketing.

The most romantic moments in Simpsons history: #2! – I might’ve gone with this as #1, but that’s just me.

The most romantic moments in Simpsons history: #1! – But this isn’t a bad choice:

The police spotlight shining through the colander provides a romantic backdrop while they slow dance to a wonderful version of “Embraceable You”…is it any wonder we chose this for #1? The look of bliss on each of their faces says it all.

Plus there’s honorable mentions.

Happy Valentine’s Day! – Great .gif of Ralph’s empty Valentine’s Day box.

Electric Needle Room… – If you’re going to get facial hair burned off, you might as well cite Homer and Bart.

Bored Gaming: Simpsons Tapped Out – That game is evil, I tells ya, eviiiiil.

2015-16: New Competition in Disneyland’s Local Realm – Looks like the California park is getting the same expansion the Florida one got.

NECA To Release Wave 5 Action Figures Featuring Matt Groening, Lenny Kravitz, Adam West, Stan Lee & Tom Petty – Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the teevee show is made.

When Fiction Meets Fiction – And speaking of merchandising, Lego put Homer’s head on the Wolverine figure (plus some other combos).  Meh.

The Simpsons on Twitter: “RT to congratulate Moe on his new position as supervisor! – Twitter interns are the lowest level of the Hollywood totem pole, and pathetic crap like this is why.

The Simpsons has been on for a long time… – Some well deserved love for “Lisa’s Wedding”.

Know-This-Geek of the Week- The Tale of Two Apples….er…One Apple and One Apple… – Some well deserved love for Rich Appel.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons the simpsons… – Homer’s thought process.

“And with the prime suspect cleared and found completely innocent, we must now ask ourselves: who could possibly be as bloodthirsty as Waylon Smithers?” – Kent Brockman

Happy birthday Bill Oakley!

“Well, my work is done here.” – Leonard Nimoy
“What do you mean, ‘Your work is done’?  You didn’t do anything.” – Barney
“Didn’t I?” – Leonard Nimoy 

The sad news today is that Leonard Nimoy, repeat Simpsons (and Futurama) guest voice, accomplished photographer, dispenser of vocal wisdom, bard of Bilbo, Shatner-putter-upper-with, and, of course, the one true Spock, died this morning.  He was 83, and you can read his full obituary here.  The best I can say about him is that he did what he told everyone else to do: lived long and prospered.

In other news, there isn’t going to be a Reading Digest this week because winter finally caught up with me and I’ve been too sick to do much beyond move back and forth between bed and couch since Tuesday.  Sorry for the late notice, but I haven’t been able to prop myself in front of a computer for more than about thirty minutes at a stretch all week.

If your weekend is going to involve as much sedentary teevee watching as mine, may I make the following Nimoy-related suggestions:

“Marge vs. the Monorail”
“The Springfield Files”
Futurama – “Space Pilot 3000″
Futurama – “Where No Fan Has Gone Before”
Star Trek – “The Galileo Seven” (<- Nimoy saves everyone)
Star Trek – “Mirror, Mirror” (<- Evil goatee Nimoy)
Star Trek – “Amok Time” (<- This one sucks except for the fight, which that link will take you right to.)
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (<- Spock dies, sniffle)
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (<- Directed by Nimoy, and he gets to play a comic straight man)
Star Trek: The Next Generation – “Unification I & II”

Or you could just play Civ IV.  Feel free to leave any more suggestions in the comments.

[Edited to add: Transformers: The Movie.  How the hell did I forget he voiced Galvatron (the even more evil rebuild of Megatron) in the only Transformers movie that doesn’t suck?]

“Alright!  It’s time for ABC’s TGIF lineup!” – Lisa Simpson
“Lis, when you get a little older, you’ll learn that Friday’s just another day between NBC’s Must See Thursday and CBS’s Saturday night craporama.” – Bart Simpson

This morning, Al Jean retweeted this horrifying YouTube copy of ABC’s network promo for the 1982-83 season:

It’s eighteen minutes long and isn’t worth watching in full, but starting at the 7:15 mark you can see three of their new comedies.  Two are family sitcoms.  The first, “Star of the Family”, starred Brian Dennehy as the dad.  Here’s the IMDb summary:

Fire Captain Buddy Krebs’ 16-year-old daughter Jennie Lee begins getting show-business offers because of her singing talents in the country/pop genre. This scares Buddy because he does not want his daughter to grow up too fast. Adding to his troubles, are (1) his wife runs off with a bellhop, (2) his 17-year-old son has muscle instead of brains in his head, (3) his crew down at the firehouse are “strange”: Feldmand tells his mother he is a doctor instead of a fireman, Rosetti has only sex on the brain and Max, a Hispanic, speaks fractured English. Finally, his daughter signs with a manager named Moose; the name fits the description of the woman.

Two precocious kids and a wacky fire station with an ethnic!  Millions of dollars were spent to create that.  It lasted ten episodes.

The second family comedy, “It Takes Two”, is just as bad:

Sam and Molly Quinn are two hard working career people just too busy with their careers (him a doctor and she a lawyer) to pay attention to each other or their teenage children.

That one made it a full twenty-two episodes but, you’ll be unsurprised to learn, did not get a second season.

Finally we come to “The New Odd Couple“, which is two black dudes who are opposites instead of two white dudes who are opposites.  It was a remake of a series that was itself a remake of a movie which was an adaptation of a play.  Creative!  It lasted eighteen episodes.

Stuff like this is why I described 1980s American television as a “terrible world“.  NBC and CBS were making shows just as bad and just as repetitive, and year in, year out, those three crappy channels were it.  No cable.  No satellite.  No internet.  Thank Jebus The Simpsons destroyed these so thoroughly that “family sitcoms” never recovered.

“Lisa, you’ll have a fine time at the plant with Dad.  You’ve been interested in nuclear power for years.” – Marge Simpson
“I’ve signed numerous petitions to shut down that plant!” – Lisa Simpson
“Well, there you go.” – Marge Simpson

Per Wikipedia, Take Your Daughter to Work Day started in 1993, but:

The program was officially expanded in 2003 to include boys; however, most companies that participated in the program had, since the beginning, allowed both boys and girls to participate, usually renaming it “Take Our Children to Work Day” or an equivalent.[5]

In 1996, The Simpsons invoked it as “Go To Work With Your Parents Day” so that Principal Skinner could squeeze an extra day into spring break and keep his middle seat on his flight to Hong Kong (“Custom made suits at slave labor prices”).  That sent Lisa to work with Homer, and Bart, after trying to stay home, to the DMV with Patty and Selma.  It was a quick setup to get the episode going and, befitting The Simpsons, showed how high minded, well intentioned ideas could be taken advantage of for selfish reasons.

Today it is 2015, twenty-two years since the concept was hatched and twelve since it officially changed to include both girls and boys.  Zombie Simpsons, ever the creative laggard, simply called it “Take Your Daughter to Work Day”, which is both a verbatim use of someone else’s words and inaccurate.  In another context, that might be impressive.  Here it’s just lazy.

And the problems don’t stop there.  At the plant, Lisa does basically nothing.  First we see her in the auditorium while Burns exposits a bunch of stuff we don’t see.  Then she stands in a hallway and asks Homer a couple of questions about the plant (he doesn’t know the answers).  Then they go to the cafeteria where her lunch got ruined.  This is everything she says while she’s there:

Dad, what does that do?
Who’s that guy?
Where do those pipes lead?
Is it called the cooling tower because there’s-
How many kilowatts-
How many kinds are there?
Oh, no, my almond milk leaked all over everything.  Dad, do you have anything I can eat?
[30 so so seconds of montage]
Wow, Dad, thank you.

Literally her only line that’s longer than a few words is her expositing something we’re seeing as she says it.  She doesn’t actually do anything the whole time she’s there.

Get used to this view.

In the interests of fairness to Zombie Simpsons, here is an equally context-free version of Lisa’s entire dialogue from the first time she went to work with Homer in “Bart on the Road”:

No, thanks.  Do you have any fruit?
Why are there so many burnt out ones?
Maybe we can make your job more fun.  What are those?
Well, what if we used our imaginations.
Houston, we have a problem.  Homer 13 is spinning out of control, I’m going after him!

For starters, she’s actually speaking in complete sentences.  Better yet, when she does ask questions, it’s not a series of unrelated ones, she asks about actual things we see: Homer’s contention that “purple is a fruit” and his inability to change tiny light bulbs without an assistant.  Then we get to see her actually do something, playing with Homer in the radiation suits and pretending a stapler is a radio.

Characters doing things!  Neat.

And when you put the context back in, her visit in “Bart on the Road” shines even more.  Here are those lines with Homer back in them:

Homer: Donut?
Lisa: No, thanks.  Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple stuff inside.  Purple is a fruit.  Uh, oh, this is a map of nuclear sites around the country.  As a safety inspector, I’m responsible for changing most of these light bulbs.
Lisa: Why are there so many burnt out ones?
Homer: Cause they won’t hire an assistant.

Compare that to Homer and Lisa’s first scene in “The Princess Guide”:

Lisa: Dad, what does that do?
Homer: I don’t know.
Lisa: Who’s that guy?
Homer: I don’t know.
Lisa: Where do those pipes lead?
Homer: Not sure.
Lisa: Is it called the cooling tower because there’s-
Homer: Not my department.
Lisa: How many kilowatts-
Homer: Look, sweetie, would you like to go to the cafeteria and get some ice cream?
Lisa: How many kinds are there?
Homer: Twelve.

This actually ends with a joke, so by Zombie Simpsons standards it’s pretty decent.  But look how much thinner it is than the same scene in The Simpsons.  There, Homer and Lisa have a real conversation that also happens to crack wise about how horrible a place Springfield Nuclear Power Plant really is and just how boring Homer’s job is.  Zombie Simpsons is one note schtick designed to setup a lone ice cream punchline.

From there, of course, Season 26 Lisa sits around while Homer goes off on the episode’s first montage.  (There will be more, oh, yes, there will.)  In Season 7, on the other hand, Lisa and Homer start playing astronaut in the radiation suits, which ends with Homer telling us that it’s a lot more fun with a second person.  The difference is simple: in one she’s a real character visiting her dad at the plant, in the other she’s a prop.

The mindless (yet inaccurate) repetition of Take Your Daughter to Work Day, the time killing montage, and the hacktacular dialogue never would’ve passed muster in the 1996 writers’ room.  In the 2015 one, however, they’re good to go.  Maybe they should start bringing their kids to work.

“Check it out, boy, it’s like looking into a living snow mirror.” – Homer Simpson

Two different people in St. Louis decided to use this winter to make some snow Simpsons.  One is just Homer, but the other is the whole family and the couch.  It’s great.  In other impressive fan feats this week, there’s glow in the dark zombie Simpsons, a zombie Springfield, a grammar rodeo t-shirt, and money.  In addition to that we’ve got some excellent usage, lots of Nimoy links, reviews of old episodes and Season 7, and someone who literally agrees with us.

Enjoy.

Zombie Simpsons MAGGIE by Undead Ed Glows in the D by Undead-Art – A Maggie figurine, zombified.  There are lots more, including the rest of the family, Burns, Wiggum and Krusty.

Springfield Zombicide Map: (Part One) The Simpson’s House – A fan made look at what Springfield might look like post zombiepocalypse.   Nice touch on the plywood saying “P.S.  Screw Flanders”.

Zombicide in Springfield: Moe’s Tavern – Construction photos of Moe’s.

That’s it! Back to Winnipeg! – Excellent fan made National Grammar Rodeo t-shirt.

The Simpsons – The Springfield Files (Review) – A very thorough discussion of how The Simpsons and The X-Files complimented each other.  Also, heh:

o cite a convenient example of The Simpsons‘ anti-authoritarian leanings, The Complete Guide to The Simpsons pointed out that the episode which aired directly before The Springfield Files – the classic El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer – included a “blink and you miss it” gag about government surveillance. In a joke that seems even harsher in 2015, a quick peek through the Simpson family floorboards reveals that the phone is tapped by (handily labeled wires to) the CIA, FBI, ATF, NSA, KGB and MCI. No wonder the Cigarette-Smoking Man got down so quickly.

Money Art by Donovan Clark – One dollar bills with various characters on them, including Homer, Otto and Wiggum.

In Post-Apocalyptic ‘Mr. Burns,’ ‘The Simpsons’ Are, Literally, Legendary – The San Francisco version has opened to the customary positive reviews.

Hipp regulars light up stage in dark comedy ‘Mr. Burns’ – The play has also made it to Florida.  Like most things, it probably won’t get out alive.

Exploring ‘Trilogy Of Error,’ The Most Ambitious ‘Simpsons’ Episode Ever – I’ve never found it funny, but it is impressive in its way.

Jonathan Bradley on Instagram: “Feels like I’m drinking nothing at all… nothing at all… nothing at all…” – Flanders beer:

Remembering Leonard Nimoy’s Enduring Pop Culture Reach: Bilbo, The Simpsons and Big Bang – It’s been a week, but who couldn’t use a little more Nimoy appreciation?

10 times Leonard Nimoy proved he was the king of cameos – I didn’t know he was a bad guy on Columbo one time.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons leonard nimoy… – Great .gif of Nimoy beaming out after saving the monorail passengers.

RIP: Leonard Nimoy – Our old friend Noah does a send off.

Fashion Spotlight: Ridley Buster, As You Wish…, and Donut Portal – Donut Portal is great.

HYPE. THE SIMPSONS COLLABORATION – Yet more high fashion Simpsons clothing.

“The Streetsons” – And the Simpsons drawn with their own trendy threads.

The Simpsons Skin Pack now available for Minecraft on Xbox One, Xbox 360 – Excellent reference:

Are you ready to rasta-fy your Minecraft experience by 10%?

Father and son make snow sculpture of the Simpsons – That is fantastic:

If you watch till the end of the video, you can see the horrific, melted aftermath.  Plus someone else made a Homer:

Ranking all 25 Episodes of The Simpsons Season 7 – There’s a lot more in the “Not Classic” category than I would have, but to each his own.

‘Whoa, Mama!': A Voice Actress’s Road To Fame As A 10-Year-Old Boy – A four minute NPR segment of Cartwright recalling her audition for Bart.

One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish – There was no way around this:

-The first time I shaved, the scene with Homer teaching Bart how to do it was playing in my head the whole time. Probably because my Dad was the one teaching me how to shave, and he brought the scene up.

I never was able to get the piece of toilet paper thing to work.  Fortunately, it’s much easier to just not cut yourself in the first place.

The Way We Was – Heh:

-Homer: Debate? Like…arguing?
Teacher: Yes.
Homer: I’ll take THAT, you dingpot.
I have no idea what a “dingpot” is, but it’s still a great line.

I’ve always heard it as “stinkpot”, but either way, it is a great line.

Homer Simpson ‘discovered the Higgs boson’ – No, he didn’t, but they did have a similar equation in “The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace”.

11 Best Uses of Bad Grammar from ‘The Simpsons’ – There’s a little Zombie Simpsons in here, but not much.  I love “unfaceuptoable”.

Mid-concert selfie stage invasions – hasn’t Dvorák suffered enough? – Excellent usage:

There’s an episode of Simpsons in which Homer ruins a U2 concert by coming on stage mid-song to boost his campaign to become Springfield’s sanitation commissioner. As the audience boos, Homer explains that he would be, if elected, “the most whack, tripped-out sanitation commissioner ever! Can you dig it?” Not before time the security goons drag him off stage. “Don’t worry, he’ll get the help he needs,” Bono tells the crowd. A video screen behind the band reveals Homer getting his face filled in by the aforementioned goons – totally justifiably in my view – as the band play the richly ironic accompaniment, their song In the Name of Love.

20th Century Fox & FXX Unveil THE SIMPSONS Kwik-E-Mart Truck! – The headline tells you pretty much what you need to know, they’re going to have a traveling food truck trussed up as a Kwik-E-Mart.  The article refers to it as an “activation”.

The Simpsons has been on for a long time… – This August it’ll be five years since the date Lisa was supposed to get married in the future.  Time flies.

A Case of Plagiarism – Competing versions of “what MLB players would Burns hire today”.

Universal Studios: Krusty Burger – Heh:

The Krusty burger is just a regular burger with this yellow sauce on it, I believe it’s cheese? It’s a bit scary, the fact that I can’t tell what I’m eating, but I trust Krusty.

It probably wasn’t circus animals.  Probably.

QC on TV: A Series – Some love for everyone’s favorite attorney.

Hello! Hello! Hello! – .gif of Homer wolfing down NFL snacks.

Lisa Simpson on Thinking – Heh.

Sadly truth – Heh.

The Simpsons – A couple of cool Simpsons logo designs.

17 Simpsons quotes to cheekily work into everyday life – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us:

For me The Simpsons ended around season 13.

Anything after that doesn’t count as The Simpsons I watched at 6pm every night, except not on Saturdays during footy season when Channel 10 had the rights to the Saturday AFL matches.

It didn’t matter if you had seen the episode twenty times beforehand, something was reassuring about knowing the plot and jokes, even the ones you didn’t get because they referenced something from the early to mid 1990s in the United States.

I will continue to refer to The Simpsons in the past tense, as it is how I will always view it.

Agreed.  (Also, there are some great quote suggestions in there.)

“Bart, shouldn’t you be in class?” – Lisa Simpson
“I am.  It’s a little something I whipped up in shop, mostly latex.” – Bart Simpson

Chief Wiggum is mistakenly delivered a military jet pack, which he gleefully accepts and uses in order to fight crime. But when the jet pack crashes into the church, the congregation, led by Marge, must resort to gambling and counting cards in order to collect money to repair the church.

If Gerry Cooney doesn’t have a cameo in this I am going to be upset.  I’d say “This could be a whole new beginning for Springfield”, but I’d be a bald-faced liar.

“You’re a comedy writer?  My God, you’re so old!” – Roger Meyers Jr.
“I want my check!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Haha, you’re a writer alright!” – Roger Meyers Jr.

Sam Simon, one of the three godfathers of The Simpsons, died today at the age of 59.  It was almost exactly two years ago that he announced that he had been diagnosed with cancer, and from that moment until his death today he handled it with grace, generosity, and, befitting Simon, a lot of humor.  They gave him three-to-six months; he lasted nearly two and a half years, laughing about it all the way.

The tributes to him are pouring in from people who knew him and those who just knew his work.  I’ll only say this, the show he did so much to create treated life and death with a mirthful contempt that resonated with hundreds of millions of people throughout the world.  He’s gone, but he’ll still be making people smile for a long time to come.

Sayonara, Sam.

“Did you see their faces, Smithers?” – C.M. Burns
“Sir, you’re my god of generosity.” – Mr. Smithers

Rest in peace, Sam Simon.

Did you know he drew this?  I didn’t know that.

“You looked so peaceful lying there.” – Marge Simpson
“There’ll be plenty of time for that!  I got tons of important stuff to do!” – Homer Simpson

This post was originally going to go up Tuesday, then Wednesday, then yesterday, but I kept finding more great Simon articles to add.  Regular Reading Digest will be back next week, including all the non-Simon stuff I missed from this week.  Several of these are from @DailySimpsons and @rubbrcatsimp, both of which are great follows if you want news and quotes from the show.

By Ken Levine: My thoughts on Sam Simon – I will leave you with two brief excerpts from Ken Levine’s goodbye note, but it’s worth clicking on in full right now:

In 1985 David Isaacs and I created a series for Mary Tyler Moore. For reasons I won’t go into here, it was a nightmare. We knew Sam Simon from our time on CHEERS. He graciously agreed to join the staff and help on this Mary project. As things went from bad to worse to the brink of thermonuclear war, Sam stood by us. Most of the other writers bolted. Not Sam. He steadfastly hung in there with us. Honestly, we could not have done it without Sam. For that and that alone I have always loved Sam Simon. He could do no wrong in my book.

And:

I worked with Sam on seven series and pilots. He attended family seders, special occasions, and he spoke at my SITCOM ROOM seminar (telling students that sitcoms were dead – thanks for that). He had a wicked sense of humor, even during his recent suffering. A few months ago, when PBS aired the Roger Ebert documentary he was tweeting “get to the cancer already.”

Ha.

‘Simpsons’ producer Al Jean remembers Sam Simon – It always has been one of my favorite lines:

“Here’s a joke that he put in in a show that was written with him and Matt [Groening, the show’s creator] and Mike and me. Bart is doing something to be popular and Homer goes, ‘Son, being popular is the most important thing in the world.’ And that kind of summed up The Simpsons, where it’s this dad giving what seems to be TV Dad advice, but it’s the worst advice in the world. It’s what no TV Dad should ever say. There were very few jokes that encapsulated The Simpsons as perfectly as that one.

Sam Simon (1955 – 2015) – Our old friend over at rubbercat.net/simpsons wrote the best and most complete obituary I saw, and it’s got a ton of great links.

RIP, Sam Simon: How a lone fear led to creating a key character on ‘The Simpsons’ – Great story:

“He was a hard guy. He was a really tough guy,” Silverman tells Comic Riffs. “He gave me a dismissive hand at first.”
One of the show’s first-season episodes, though, proved a turning point. Silverman — who had also worked on the 1989 TV short, “The Simpsons: Family Therapy” — wanted a prominent onscreen credit for directing the episode “Bart the General.” Simon, ever the writer, told Silverman he would give him that screen credit if Silverman could prove that directors really made a difference.
After Silverman directed the episode, he went to the dubbing session. There, with a credit as prominent as the writer’s, was Silverman’s directing nod.
“The guy in the session said to me: ‘You proved it.’ Sam was tough, but fair.”

Sam Simon: 1955–2015 – And another great story:

He was the funniest dying person I’d ever met. He found it hilarious that people were praying for him, because he was an atheist, and because the idea of fans asking God to heal the cocreator of a show like The Simpsons was inherently ridiculous: “It must be His least favorite show.” Toward the end of our conversation, his assistant brought him a stack of printed email messages. Media requests from various outlets. He sifted through them and grinned. “I wish publicity cured cancer,” he said.

‘Simpsons’ Co-Creator Sam Simon’s Battle Over Three-Eyed Fish – I did not know this, but apparently the show pissed off the nuclear industry so badly that they got to take a tour of a nuclear plant.  That’s how you know it’s good comedy: when it can get you past two layers of razor wire and twenty-four hour armed guards.

How Sam Simon Helped Make The Simpsons What It Is Today – This is a little clueless in terms of being about the show.  (The author calls “Treehouse of Horror” a “crucially underrated moment”, because, you know, nobody remembers the Halloween ones.)  But it’s nice to see this in the toniest of tony Eastern magazines:

the cultural legacy of The Simpsons cannot be understated.

How Tension Between Sam Simon and Matt Groening Built “The Simpsons” – Speaking of tony and Eastern, The New Republic, everybody:

Simon was as responsible as anyone for the unique “Simpsons” sensibility, that combination of gleeful impudence and populist courtesy

You had me right up until “populist courtesy”.  What the hell does that mean?

Sam Simon Dead: ‘Simpsons’ Co-Creator Dies at 59 – This is true:

Decades later, he told Stanford magazine of “The Simpsons”: “It was largely based on what I didn’t like about the Saturday-morning cartoon shows I worked on. ‘The Simpsons’ would have been a great radio show. If you just listen to the sound track, it works.”

Sam Simon Wiki: 5 Great ‘The Simpsons’ Moments From His Era – A video heavy appreciation of some of the innovations of the early seasons.

Seth MacFarlane was nice:

Had the mind of Sam Simon not paved the way for all of us in primetime animation, I wouldn’t have a job. He will be sorely missed.

Via David Silverman on Twitter, here’s (L to R), Wes Archer, Silverman, Rich Moore and Simon looking like a bunch of high school kids on their way to prom:

Mike Scully with a great little story:

In 1985 @simonsam, who I had never met, called to go thru my spec Cheers script & gave me great notes & encouragement. Best rejection ever.

25 Years Later, This ‘Simpsons’ Episode Still Hits Too Close To Home – “Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish” was prescient in far too many ways.  Simon wrote it with Swartzwelder.

Sam Simon, Co-Creator of The Simpsons and Atheist Philanthropist, Dies at 59 – I did not know this:

“People say I’m trying to buy my way into heaven, which I don’t believe in. So that can’t be true,” Sam says. He paid for those atheist billboards that make news from time to time. Like the one by the Lincoln Tunnel, in New York, that read, IT’S A MYTH, on a picture of the stars over Bethlehem.

“The Simpsons” wouldn’t have been “The Simpsons” without Sam Simon – Good point:

Simon’s lasting effects on pop culture can be found in slightly more indirect ways as well. Just look at the accomplishments of former Simpsons staffers like Brad Bird (“The Iron Giant,” “The Incredibles,” “Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol”), Greg Daniels (“King of the Hill,” “The Office,” “Parks and Recreation”), David Silverman (“Monsters, Inc,” “The Road to El Dorado”), Jim Reardon (“Wall-E,” “Wreck-It Ralph”), and O’Brien, among so many others. Granted, they weren’t all Simon’s hires. But without his guidance, the show wouldn’t have lasted long enough to employ any of them.

I know that Daniels and O’Brien are more famous than Bird, Silverman and Reardon, but Simson did hire those three guys.  No need to pad the list.

Sam Simon – Chris Ledesma tweeted out his blog post from two years ago when Simon announced he had cancer.  This is a great image:

What I do remember is that he was very funny off the top of his head, he laughed heartily at things he thought were funny, and he was seldom without a cigar between his teeth.

I Hope To Die As Well As Sam Simon Did – Don’t we all?

Something called Voodoo Doughnut did this awesome tribute:

Maybe it’s not the best thing to say about the recently deceased, but I would eat the shit out of his jacket and head.

Was Sam Simon-era Simpsons the show’s golden age? – Half of it, yes.  This has been simple answers to simple questions.  (Oh, and I will argue the merits of Season 1 any time.)

I’ve linked this whole video before, but this seems like an appropriate send off:

“Hey, since you were a no show at all the big moments of my life, you owe me years of back presents: Christmases, birthdays, Easters, Kwanzaas, good report cards.  Hmm, seventy-five bucks a pop, plus interest and penalties . . . you owe me, twenty-two thousand dollars.” – Bart Simpson

Happy birthday David Silverman!

When Duffman undergoes hip replacement surgery and retires, the company sets up a reality show competition to find his replacement. Homer wins the competition, and because the job requires him to stay sober, he learns that beer isn’t as necessary as he thought to have a good time.

Oh boy, temporarily sober Homer wins a reality show.  Apparently the guest voice is Cat Deeley, who is the host of an actual FOX reality show, according to my wife.

I am not planning on watching this crap tonight, as watching the preview clips was awful enough, but I am going to go out on a limb and state that there is no way all of the humor in this entire episode will add up to the scene from “Duffless” where Homer gets kicked out of AA for eating the dirt under the bleachers.  Neither will the combined visual comedy from this entire episode reach a level that will compare to seeing Homer shakily scratch off day 30 on his calendar during that same episode.  By the way, I really like “Duffless”.

“Hey, it’s Duffman, a guy in a costume who creates awareness of Duff!” – Lenny

I was just getting ready to watch last week’s Zombie Simpsons when news of Sam Simon’s death broke.  I guess Wiggum got a jetpack or something.  This week, however, there was nothing to do but plow through it, as Homer got yet another job, this time as Duffman, and quit drinking at the same time.

– Couch gag wasn’t too bad, right up until Homer’s severed head.  Which was weird.

– This bicycle parade just keeps going.  And it’s filled with that really formulaic “setup-beat-punchline” stuff that is the hallmark of uncreative sitcoms, like Lou telling Wiggum not to go into the donut shop, only to have Wiggum immediately go into the donut shop.

– Hospital sign “Wishing You a Cold, Smooth Recovery” is pretty good.

– Brockman’s little broadcast with the Chinese landing on Mars was brief, at least.

– Homer’s explaining why he wants to be Duffman.  I’ll bet this is not the last time we have this explained to us.

– The “America’s Next Top Whatever” game show thing is going on way too long.  This is almost as bad as that American Idol episode they did.

– At least Homer got stabbed in the eye and is bleeding.  Haven’t seen that in a few minutes.

– Oh, another Game of Thrones opening.  They like these, don’t they?

– Homer’s monologue vow thing is really bad and goes on for the better part of a minute.

– Even the old timey beer commercials are long and boring and expositive.

– That aside with the formula and safe certainly ate some time.  So nice of them to put in an object, have someone ask about it, then drop it completely.

– “Duffman can’t drink”, that got repeated several times.

– Now Marge is expositing while Homer moans and beats himself about the head.

– Did they have to have Flanders stare at the camera like that after the t-shirt cannon thing?  Is this what counts as fan service these days?

– Uh, why were Burns and Smithers at this whatever ceremony in costume?  Oh, right, meaningless filler.  Now I remember.

– Montage.

– And a really drawn out scene about there being lots of executives.  That just kept going.

– And now, Homer’s looking at people through a beer telescope from a blimp.

– We dodged a bullet on that blimp fire.  They actually cut away.

– Now, in an attach of conscious that has been preceeded by nothing except a weird blimp ride, Homer is against beer.

– Homer getting away again and again in a race car only to circle back.  I’m actually surprised they stopped at only three.

– “Now, there’s one way out of your hell, prove you still love beer.  Drink this.”  When they have lines, and whole exchanges like this, you know the ending is a mess.

– Now Homer is back at Moe’s because the episode needed to fill some more time.

– And now we’re revisiting the old Duffman.  Oof, this one must’ve come in even shorter than most.

– Nice little Simon tribute, though.

Anyway, the numbers are in and they remain awful.  Last night, just 3.61 million viewers wondered what job Homer was going to get next.  That’s good for #9 on the all time least watched list.  With (probably) five episodes to go in the season, last year’s record low viewership average of 4.99 million is in real jeopardy.  The current Season 26 average is 5.32 million, and numbers that continue in the 3.60 million range will drop it well below five million by the end of the year.

“Only Duff fills your Q zone with pure beer goodness.  So drink up, and up, and up!” – Cartoon Doctor
“Duff Beer, proud sponsors of Amos ‘n Andy!” – Narrator 

It’s always nice when Zombie Simpsons provides a wealth of options for Compare & Contrast.  For “Waiting for Duffman”, I could’ve gone with Homer quitting drinking like he did in “Duffless”.  Of course, there he quits because Marge thinks he might have a problem and we see just how awful and ubiquitous beer advertising really is, whereas here he gets a fake microchip implanted in him and screams a lot.  I could’ve also gone with the Duff calendar contest from “Pygmoelian” against that hapless, celebrity voiced reality show facsimile they strung together this week.  I almost contrasted the time Lisa rejected being a corporate spokeshack in “Lisa the Beauty Queen” with Homer’s abrupt and nonsensical about face as Duffman.  Hell, I could’ve even gone with Homer being dropped into a store’s publicity event, which is done much better in “Homie the Clown” than it was this week.

Instead, I want to take a detailed look at that one-dimensional Yogi Bear beer commercial and how poorly it fares next to the one Homer and Barney see on the brewery tour in “Duffless”.  The premises here are exactly the same: wildly sleazy commercials from a time when advertising could get away with even more than they can these days.  The differences are all in the execution.

The problems with the Zombie Simpsons version begin even before the commercial itself.  The scene preceding the commercial is that big Game of Thrones montage that takes up nearly a minute and a half.  That thing finishes with Homer taking an oath in this room:

From there, the family and the beer guy are walking in this hall:

And from there, with nary a single word of intervening or introductory dialogue, they walk over to a TV and start watching:

Normally, I accuse Zombie Simpsons of overexplaining things, be they jokes, plot points, or whatever.  (And Jebus knows they do that enough elsewhere in this one.)  But this is them actually doing the opposite.  We can infer from the stuff on the walls that they’re in some kind of Duff museum, but the beer guy doesn’t appear to be giving them a tour (he certainly isn’t saying anything) and the TV they walk up to just snaps on without any of them so much as even looking at it.  Immediately they all stare at it and we go into the commercial in full.  There’s no transition, no continuity, just one unrelated bit stuck between two others.

By contrast, at the Duff Brewery in “Duffless”, not only do we know where they are and why they’re there, but we get a quick introduction that sets up the commercial.  The tour guide, fresh off denying that a batch of Duff had been contaminated with strychnine, says:

Here’s one of our favorite Duff beer commercials from the early 1950s.

This is how you set up a bit: it’s short, the tour guide is still in character with his fake pride (“one of our favorite”), and it seamlessly drops in the historical context.  From there we get the commercial itself, which is wall to wall with jokes at the expense of both Duff and the 1950s: “q zone”, the doctor telling people to drink “up, and up and up”, and, of course, “Proud Sponsors” of Amos & Andy, last and grandest of the nakedly racist mainstream minstrel shows.

Plus, look what Wikipedia just told me:

Adapted to television, The Amos ‘n Andy Show was produced from June 1951 to April 1953 with 78 filmed episodes, sponsored by the Blatz Brewing Company.

Real life Amos ‘n’ Andy was actually sponsored by a very Duff like beer brand, that’s fantastic!  That’s the kind of density this show has: it’s twenty years later and I just got something new.

Compare that with the unintroduced, not quite Yogi Bear ad.  This is the full transcript:

Narrator: When life looks hopeless, it’s not.

Chorus: Duff beer, feeling no pain/
Made from Canadian rain

Chorus: Tastes like nickle champagne/
Not Yogi: It will tickle your brain

Animals: Duff beer, feeling no pain/
Made from Canadian rain

By Zombie Simpson standards, that song is pretty good.  It only repeats a lyric once, and it doesn’t even have a clock eating montage stuffed into it.

But it also takes much longer than the commercial in “Duffless”, and, worse, it doesn’t come at the expense of anyone but Yogi.  It’s just this little, self contained thing that, however funny it may or may not be on its own, can be dropped into a random scene because it relates to precisely nothing else in the episode.

In addition to being part of an episode that goes out of its way to mock beer and beer advertising, the “Duffless” commercial had a point: the 1950s sucked and we are well rid of them.  Justly deserved ridicule is rained down on commercials where beer gets sold with health claims, minstrel shows on television, and the people dumb enough to fall for the former while enjoying the latter.  The Yogi hunting commercial, on the other hand, is little more than cartoon violence.

Ha ha, they got shot [snare drum].

And while there’s nothing wrong with cartoon violence (I’m certainly a fan), if you want to be The Simpsons or even pretend to, you need more than just that.  Your beer commercial needs to be part and parcel of a larger whole; one that itself is making fun of huge variety of subjects.  It’s a tall order, I know, and Zombie Simpsons is never up to it, but The Simpsons always was.

Sam Simon was so widely beloved that there was no way to sort through even a part of people’s tributes to him last week.  Now that the noise has settled down and big media outlets are on to the next thing, this week we’ve got a ton more great stuff about the man.  There’s other stuff too, of course, but mostly it’s Simon.

Enjoy.

My buddy Sam Simon. – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this long and loving encomium for Simon by a writer who met him over poker.  It’s long, but it’s a great read.

Someone built all of Springfield in Minecraft to recreate the ‘Simpsons’ opening – Now this is an impressive act of geekery:

There’s a little tour of the place at the link.

Dark Ink Art To Release Dave Perillo’s Second Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Print On March 17, 2015 – I do not have $50.  But that is gorgeous.  (And no Zombie Simpsons!)

The secret heart of The Simpsons – Our old friend Alec Nevala-Lee takes a look at the creative mix that made the show and how it’s impossible to either pin down or overstate Simon’s contribution.

Remember Sam Simon – Well put:

 Sam Simon’s legacy for The Simpsons was the creation of a cartoon that an educated person could watch and not be ashamed at; the humor would be intelligent and not dumb itself down for the lowest common denominator.

The Simpsons pub trivia is SUPER SERIOUS. – A great writeup of the last trivia in Chicago.

Easton Hospital buys site for new hospital in 1915 – Almanac March 11, 2015 – Look at all the neat stuff you can find digging through newspaper archives:

25 years ago: Be cool, dude: In answer to an Express Street Talk question about U.S. Postal Service plans to raise the price of stamps from 25 cents to 30 cents, “Who do you think should be on the new stamp?” Donna Snyder, of Allentown, said, “Tom Petty. I like his tunes.” Joanne Panulla, of Belvidere, said, “Boomer Esiason, he looks great on a football card and he would look even better on a postage stamp.” Said Phillipsburg student Robin Torquati, “Bart Simpson. He’s a cool dude and he’s my idol.”

Bartmania lives on.

Simpsons Homer Dan Castellaneta Remembers Sam Simon – Some nice words from Homer himself:

“I first met Sam while we were doing “The Tracey Ullman Show.” My first memory of him from those days was that although he had already been in the business for a while, he was still kind of a wunderkind.
He’d be sitting there with all these experienced guys — Jerry Belson, Jim Brooks — and there’d be times when people would be stuck for a line. I’d see Sam thinking and talking to himself, and then he would say something. At least 70% to 90% of the time, it would be a really great, succinct line.

Mad Men’s Peggy Olson and the allure of TV spin-offs – Excellent usage:

“Spin-off”! Is there any word more thrilling to the human soul?” Troy McClure, the Simpsons’ fading actor once asked. It’s a question you’d imagine AMC would respond to with a resounding “yes”, given how eagerly they seem to be churning out the things.

Akira, Redrawn Using The Simpsons, Is Incredible – More Bartkira, including a .gif of Bart on the motorcycle.

Robyn Urback: An ode to ‘Simpsons’ co-creator Sam Simon, the most cromulent guy around – We’ve all had moments like this:

Indeed, The Simpsons facilitated a type of cartoon-osmosis through which I learned the songs of an 1878 comedic opera, though that was just one of many worthwhile literary and cultural references I absorbed by staring at the show every weekday. There were references to the Salem Witch Trials, the Freemasons, contemporary American politics, religious and environmental issues and so forth, all delivered through a cartoon cast that was somehow made real. And if you ask those who know the behind-the-scenes of the show best, that was Sam Simon’s doing.

The Glesga Simpsons: student gets creative with Scottish inspired drawings of hit show – Fan made Scottish Simpsons images.

Here’s exactly what would happen if EastEnders characters were in the Simpsons – Heading South from Scotland, here are some fictional Londoners done the same way.

Ranking The Simpsons Season 8 – a review – I’d probably only have “Burns, Baby Burns” and “The Homer They Fall” under the “Meh” category, but at least they’re both there.

Groening and Barry Take New York – I think these two might just make it in showbiz.  Not everyone gets a writeup in The New Yorker.

‘Milhouse From Memory’, A Book Featuring Artists’ Illustrations of Milhouse From ‘The Simpsons’ Drawn From Memory – The link has a couple of samples.  Cool.  (via @DailySimpsons)

RIP: Sam Simon – Our old friend Noah says goodbye in cartoon form.

Let’s NP-Ify: The Simpsons – And has some great sketches of the rest of Springfield.

The Thrill: Kimmy Schmidt, Can-Con, and the Simpsons – A CBC podcast that discusses Simon and his legacy starting at the 26:50 mark.  They also spend some time agreeing with us that the show has gone to hell.

Ron English x Garageworks Industries x The Simpsons 1:1 Bart Grin Sculpture – A four foot tall Bart sculpture with teeth that are borderline H.R. Geiger.  Neat.

The Way We Was – Love this line:

“Get off the edge of your seat. They got married, had kids, and bought a cheap TV, okay?”

Homer Simpson’s Profound Quotes In One Place – Some of these are a little screwy, but at least there’s some YouTube and very little Zombie Simpsons.

128th-Final, Round 4: Homer and Apu vs. Sideshow Bob Roberts – That’s a tough one.

128th-Final, Round 5: The Homer They Fall vs. Lady Bouvier’s Lover – But this is not.

7 Wild ‘Simpsons’ Fan Conspiracy Theories – Reader Dan O. sends in this list of pretty out there theories.  As he said via e-mail:

5. THERE ARE MULTIPLE MOLEMEN. LOL

The Simpsons Meets Metal! – Great fan made metal version of the opening theme song:

The Simpsons – Building an Icon Set by Oliver – Fan made set of Simpsons sketch icons.  Bravo.

Hey, Kwik-E-Mart truck: Where’s the (wadded) beef? – A picture of that truck they sent to SXSW.

Bruce Vilanch to Lead SIMPSONS Writer Mike Reiss’ RUBBLE Reading Next Week – Reiss wrote something (play? movie? I’m not sure):

The story of RUBBLE is as follows: Alvin (Vilanch), an aging, down-on-his-luck comedy writer who — much to his chagrin — has narrowly escaped fortune, fame, and Emmy awards, is on a last-chance meeting with a network executive. During a spirited pitch of his new series idea, “My Brother, The Pope,” a massive earthquake hits LA, leaving him buried up to his neck in a pile of rubble. What ensues are a series of hilarious visits – from his older-and-more-useless-than-dirt agent Lee (Adler) and his ex-wife Brie (Wilson), to a pompous Dad (Still) and a singing and dancing Jesus (Maroulis).

Lisa Simpson’s Guide to Geek Chic (Book Review) – They released another officially licensed book.  Here is a review of it.

April ’15 – Sonic Youth – Once you were on The Simpsons, it defines you forever:

JAMIE: I still remember the very first time I heard of Sonic Youth. It was about 1996 and a 12 year old me was watching an episode of The Simpsons called Homerpalooza.

Vintage-loving hipsters can eat my shorts – Excellent usage, albeit copied and pasted direcrtly from Wikiquote.

Hold on to your hats! – Nebel with a great pull:

In the episode “Brother from the Same Planet,” Homer engages in a long, drawn-out fist fight with Bart’s Bigger Brother, Tom. It wasn’t until I bought the DVD set of season 4 in 2004 that I learned this was a direct reference to the 1952 John Ford film.
Showrunner Al Jean explains in the episode’s audio commentary:
“We were looking to rewrite the ending of the show, and [Sam Simon] suggested that we look at the movie ‘The Quiet Man,’ the John Wayne movie where he and Victor McLaglen have this huge fight that goes all the way across Ireland. And I remember we came in on a Saturday to watch that movie, or to watch at least the fight sequence, which goes on for a long time.
It’s a great fight. Just two huge guys pounding each other all the way across Ireland. And the people in the community really love the fight. John Wayne, at one point, is dragging his wife across town, and a woman comes up and goes, ‘Here’s a stick for you to beat the pretty lady with.’ It’s these attitudes you certainly couldn’t put in a movie now.”

VIDEO: Conan And Zachary Quinto Remember Leonard Nimoy – O’Brien recalls freaking out when he first met Nimoy.

The Simpsons Kwik-E-Mart Comes to LEGO and Second Series of Minifigures – Want to see lots of pictures of the Lego Kwik-E-Mart?  Here you go.

“Stupid sexy Flanders” – True:

During times like this, it may be better to try not to think about the thing we want to remember. Rather, just relax and let your mind wander back to what it’s supposed to be thinking off in the first place.

It includes YouTube.

Ballarat Swap Meet: Barney – Streaking Barney as a hood ornament?  Awesome.

Good Old Classic Homer – “And Maggie Makes Three” really should be the official episode to get parents to let their kids watch the show.

100 Funny Signs From Around Springfield on “The Simpsons” – And very little Zombie Simpsons.

Sam Simon – Please to be forwarding this to the Zombie Simpsons staff:

Simon cuts straight to the heart of the matter. He tells Maron there are 3 rules for good writing:
1. Story above all.
2. Don’t be afraid of the quiet moments.
3. Love your characters.

Can’t Do It: TV Shows I Stopped Watching – This is about when I quit:

When I Bailed: Midway through Season 14

A Sam Simon lament: Depression in the creative industry – Among a discussion of how writing and sadness seem to go together, here’s a full George Carlin quote:

“The biggest problem, though, was that Sam Simon was a fucking horrible person to be around. Very, very funny, extremely bright and brilliant, but an unhappy person who treated other people poorly.”

Universal Studios Hollywood: March 2015 Harry Potter and Simpsons Construction Update – The Simpsons land is coming to California, and there are construction pictures.

Annoying Popcorn, and Some Stuff About Sam Simon – Plenty of us did this:

People think it’s ridiculous to say some entertainment was important for your childhood, but “the Simpsons” really impacted me. I remember watching it in kindergarten, but others say I was interested in it from birth. One of my favourite feelings in the world is lying around on a lazy Saturday, maybe when it’s raining outside, and watching reruns of the show. I did that all the time when I was a kid, and sometimes I still indulge. When I felt lonely being the little kid in the house, I watched the show. When I dreaded going to school the next day, I watched the show. When I came home from the mall where I was supposed to meet my dad – separated from my mum – and he didn’t show up, I watched the show.

It’s a guaranteed pick me up.

The 8 Tragic Misfortunes In ‘Homer At The Bat,’ Ranked – Ozzie Smith needs to be higher here.

Man Seeking Woman Creator: The Simpsons is Behind Every Great TV Comedy – It’s true!:

I’m sure the cause is a lot of factors as to why TV has gotten so good, and some are cultural, some are just a shift in commercial realities, but if I had to point to one thing, I would say it’s The Simpsons. I know that sounds simplistic, but I think 25 years ago, nobody had ever seen The Simpsons, and now, every comedy writer has seen The Simpsons, and as a result, comedy in America has gotten funnier. I’ve never been in a writers room before where somebody didn’t reference The Simpsons once an hour. I don’t know how you would ever write a good show without constantly trying not to rip off a specific Simpsons script. So if I had to point to one factor, it would just be the fact that every comedy writer in 2015 has seen between 50 and 200 episodes of The Simpsons.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons mr burns… – Mr. Burns tenting his fingers.

New trending GIF tagged cartoon the simpsons the… – Blinky blinking.

New trending GIF tagged cartoons & comics cartoon… – Homer lounging in Herb’s pool.

New trending GIF tagged kiss 90s retro simpsons… – Homer kissing Flanders.

The Password Is: The Simpsons – How the show can warp on-line dating.

R.I.P. Sam Simon (1955-2015) – A fitting send off ends with:

There was a great outpouring of mourning and gratitude on social media following the news of Simon’s passing. All that can be said has been said by the right people.
So all I can say is: Thanks, Sam.

Amen.

“This is KUDD, 570 AM, hey, don’t touch that dial, you’ve got kud on it!” – KUDD DJ

“First question: if I could be any animal, I would be a) a carpenter ant, b) a nurse shark, or c) a lawyer bird.” – Mrs. Krabappel

Happy birthday, George Meyer!

“Hey, Bart, according to this magazine, in another million years man’ll have an extra finger.” – Lisa Simpson
“Five fingers?  Eww, freakshow.” – Bart Simpson

For obvious reasons, this site takes the position that The Simpsons was and is the greatest show ever.  (Zombie Simpsons naturally excluded.)  Of course, plenty of people disagree about that for one reason or another, but the nice thing about being a Simpsons advocate is that I get to cite examples, lots of them.

For instance, this week we have a link to an article about the best sitcom of the 1990s, the author presumes that The Simpsons is grander than all of them and excludes it because it isn’t quite a sitcom.  We also have an interview with Anne Washburn, author of the Mr. Burns play, in which she discusses considering and rejecting a number of other television shows for her premise.  We also also have someone explicitly saying the show will never die while pretending to praise Zombie Simpsons.  And that’s before we get into the tattoos.  And while I can think of no reliable source of information to prove it, I’m willing to bet that Simpsons is the most tattooed show in history.  Oh, and we’ve got usage, fan art, and all the other usual stuff.

Enjoy.

35 Simpson Tattoos – Whoa, are there some good ones in there.  I’m partial to Homer as the jack-in-the-box from “Treehouse of Horror II”, Rod and Todd on the thumbs, and Floreda.  Baphomet Lisa is pretty evil too.  As a bonus, here’s another one via Maggie Roswell’s Twitter:

BWW Interviews: MR. BURNS, A POST-ELECTRIC PLAY’s Anne Washburn Ponders Pop Culture After the Apocalypse – The play is coming to Minneapolis, and this is a great observation:

Q: What about “The Simpsons” do you think captures people’s imaginations enough that it would survive a nuclear meltdown?
A: I think people would remember really enjoying it. And it’s a show in which the humor is so verbally precise that lots of people enjoy the act of remembering it even now, and so I think chunks of it would be in readiness.

“verbally precise”, yes.

NewsRadio was the best sitcom of the 1990s – The link above also has a bit about other shows she considered, but statements like this are part of the reason why The Simpsons won out:

This is a high honor. The ’90s featured a host of great sitcoms. There was Seinfeld and Roseanne and Frasier and Friends and The Larry Sanders Show, all shows that are the ancestors of so many great shows on the air right now. (They also had the golden years of The Simpsons, which I don’t classify as a “sitcom,” because it’s animated. Accuse me of splitting hairs, if you must.)

You can have a debate about Newsradio versus other shows.  You cannot have one about The Simpsons.  It’s so absurd that it gets its own explanatory parenthetical in the opening paragraph of an argumentative article at a mainstream media site.

The Simpsons Get A Film Noir Makeover – Some of these paintings I’ve linked before, but I think the Mr. Plow one might be new.  It is gorgeous.

Don’t Have A Cow, Man – This is true:

As a child, I was allowed to watch The Simpsons.

Other children my age weren’t so lucky. Some parents considered The Simpsons as an evil that could negatively effect the minds of their innocent children. It was to be avoided at all costs.

Usually when I see that statement, it’s “As a child, I was NOT allowed”.  Good on your folks.

Northland, Politics, Transport, and Pork – Via reader James T. comes this piece of excellent visual usage from New Zealand:

Why is this important? Well, I suspect what all of these conservative parties have done, including National, is held focus groups where they’ve asked people whether they support more investment in roads. In response, many of these people have said “yes”. Something like these guys.

The Simpsons makeup! – The Marge makeup as used by an actual person.  Bravo on the two tones.

Simpson Characters V2 – Fan drawings, including the rather clever and awesome “Sideshow Warhol”.

How ‘The Simpsons’ Became Immortal – This is one of the most halfhearted defenses of Zombie Simpsons I’ve seen in a while:

I quite enjoy the new Simpsons’ episodes. Granted, they are not as great as the glory years, but I quite enjoy the long-running series’ hot takes on political issues.
And, I can always keep re-watching the old stuff, too.

Talk about damning with faint praise.

Tampa Bay Lightning with the A+ Simpsons reference to mock Bruins fans – This is truly excellent usage:

Hiekkamyrsky Helsingissä – I’m not sure what this all says, but if you scroll down you’ll find a well done Simpsons family, with couch, in beach sand.

March 19, 1990: America loves ‘The Simpsons'; Buffalo, not so much – There’s an image of a TV column from The Buffalo News from twenty-five years ago.  Apparently, “Life on the Fast Lane” didn’t do so hot in the local ratings that week, though the guy (who looks like Ron Swanson) does note that it’s doing much better nationally.  He even closes with this little zinger:

“Elvis” is being marked return to sender, address unknown. ABC is removing its critically acclaimed series from the scheudle and says it will return at a later date. Despite a strong lead-in from “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” “Elvis” has been getting destroyed in the rations nationally by Bart, Homer and the rest of “The Simpsons”.

According to IMDb, ABC dumped the rest of the episodes in the summer then canceled it.

Day 196-Simpsonized – A simpsonized caricature, part the first.

Day 197- Simpsonized – And another.

The Joy of Glitches – I gave up on Tapped Out a while ago, but that is pretty cool looking.

Bartkira! – Is Bender sneaking in there too?

Homer Vs. Lisa And The 8th Commandment – The Mt. Sinai parts are just fantastic:

-The animation of Mt. Sinai is terrific. It’s the kind of quality you can only get with hand-drawn animation. I really wish at least one animated show nowadays would go back to hand-drawn. There was a Peanuts special a few years ago that did that, and it gave the cartoon some nice, charming feel.

-There are lots of funny things going on in the background at the beginning. People beating the crap out of each other, guys chasing woman, and my personal favorite: Homer (the thief) stuffing his shirt with calf idols every time the carver-guy turns around.

Don’t worry, they’ll be wandering out there two weeks, tops.

Brazil legend Pele to lease forehead for commercial advertising – Pele is king of the soccer field, to be king of your lapels, use Crestfield wax paper.

How I’m Feeling Of Late – Heh.

Has ‘Bob’s Burgers’ Surpassed ‘The Simpsons’? – Zombie Simpsons?  Of course.  I think they did that about ten minutes into the pilot.

New trending GIF tagged television the simpsons the… – Remember The X-Files?  They’re back.  In .gif form.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons season 8… – Poochie would like you to recycle.

Happy Birthday, Spock! – No reason not to have some more Nimoy love, including Simpsons YouTube.

SMARCH with the Simpsons – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us:

Every Sunday at Tattooed Mom, there are free arts and crafts. For the lousy Smarch weather, we’re going to have a Simpsons themed night. Classic Simpsons episodes will play, Ninties episodes only! You will learn how to draw the Simpsons, color the simpsons and paint eggs from Vincent Price’s Egg Magic.

If you’re in or around Philadelphia, that’s happening Sunday night.