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Quote of the Day
“They laughed at me the first time I wore jeans with a sport coat. I was the first wealthy man in America to ever do that, now they all do it!” – Hank Scorpio
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Zombie Simpsons on Wikipedia
“Lisa, I’m afraid we’ll have to stop getting you those volumes of Encyclopedia Generica from the grocery store.” – Marge Simpson “But, Mom, next week is Volume IV, Copernicus through Elephantiasis.” –...
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Quote of the Day
“Cartoons don’t have messages, Lisa. They’re just a bunch of hilarious stuff, you know? Like people getting hurt and stuff, stuff like that-” – Bart Simpson Happy birthday Matt Groening!
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Reading Digest: Most Everyone Loves Maggie Edition
“Everybody get ready, here comes the birthday girl in her very first dress.” – Marge Simpson “Awww.” – Everybody “She’s a little angel.” – Patty Bouvier “Yeah, I want to put a hook in her and hang her...
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Sunday Preview: Hardly Kirk-ing
Bart and Milhouse explore the perks of being an adult when a shaving experiment leaves Milhouse looking exactly like his father, Kirk. Also, Marge desperately tries to save Maggie from the dangers...
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Permanent Record: Maggie Simpson
“The boys certainly are taking a long time. I hope Maggie isn’t slowing them up too much.” – Marge Simpson For reasons of television necessity the Simpson family has always been an adventurous lot....
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Reading Digest: Foreign Art Edition
“This will be the art event of the century! The greatest masterpiece of Italian Renaissance, Michelangelo’s David, on a coast-to-coast tour, United States.” – Italian Art Guy “Sir, which cities will...
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Quote of the Day
“Nine hundred dollary-dos? Tobias! Did you accept a six hour collect call from the States?” – Bruno Drundridge “It was an emergency call from the international drainage commission in Springfield.” –...
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Reading Digest: Late Scratch Edition
“After evaluating millions of pieces of data in the blink of an eye, the Gamble-Tron 2000 says the winner is . . . Cincinnati by . . . two hundred points? Why you worthless hunk of junk!” –...
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Sunday Preview: Gorgeous Grampa
Homer’s obsession with the TV show “Storage Battles” leads the family to discover Grampa’s past identity as “Gorgeous Godfrey,” the most feared, villainous man in pro-wrestling history. What’s more...
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Compare & Contrast: Bart and Grampa Team Up (Plus Shameless Self Promotion)
“Hey, Grampa, do you think I could’ve been a Flying Hellfish?” – Bart Simpson “You’re a gutsy daredevil with a give ’em hell attitude and a fourth grade education, you coulda made sergeant.” – Abe...
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The Telltale Head Spews Truth
Today’s post is another installment in our long-running “series” of DVD commentary posts; the lucky victim this time is Season 1’s classic “The Telltale Head.” Featured speakers on the commentary are...
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Reading Digest: Overpriced Video Game Edition
“Thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty quarters, this better be good.” – Milhouse van Houten “Game over. Please deposit forty quarters.” – Waterworld Game “What a rip!” – Milhouse van Houten This week...
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Sunday Preview: Black Eyed, Please
When Flanders’ parents prove to prefer Homer’s company to his, he jealously responds by giving Homer a shiner, and then tries desperately to reconcile with him. Meanwhile, Lisa is at a loss to...
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Reading Digest: Sam Simon Rocks His Cancer Edition
“Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.” – Dr. Hibbert “No way, because I’m not dying!” – Homer Simpson “Second is anger.” – Dr....
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Sunday Preview: Dark Knight Court
In the episode, Bart is falsely accused of pulling an Easter prank involving the school marching band and stuffing rotten eggs in the brass section’s horns, and Lisa must step in as his attorney to...
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Quote of the Day
“Don’t be scared, Dad. It’s not so hard taking care of us.” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, I’m not scared. I think it’s a great chance to spend some time with you kids. Your mother always gets to be alone...
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Reading Digest: Great (And Not) Songs Edition
“Singing is the lowest form of communication.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, you sing all the time.” – Marge Simpson “No, I don’t. I hate to rhyme.” – Homer Simpson The first item this week isn’t even a...
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Quote of the Day
“Homer, please don’t make me choose between my man and my God, because you just can’t win.” – Marge Simpson “There you go again, always taking someone else’s side: Flanders, the water department,...
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Quote of the Day
♫“The nanny we want is kindly and sage . . .” – Lisa Simpson “And one who will work for minimum wage.”♫ – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Alf Clausen!
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