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Please Stop With the $14 Million Number
“If I’d spent my life listening to Dismal Doras like you, I wouldn’t be worth two-hundred-million dollars today.” – C.M. Burns “But according to your most recent biography, you only have...
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Rumor Control: Shearer Negotiations Still Open
“Is Mom gonna have another baby, Dad?” – Lisa Simpson “Maybe.” – Homer Simpson Apologies for the lack of Compare & Contrast, Reading Digest, and general radio silence around these parts the last...
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Sunday Preview: Mathlete’s Feat
When a modernized Springfield Elementary has a technical meltdown, Lisa transforms it into a Waldorf school. Meanwhile, Groundskeeper Willie becomes the coach of the mathletes Season Finale! For this...
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Behind Us Forever: Mathlete’s Feat
“Oh, my God! Lisa! She’s been crushed, and so have the hopes of our mathletics team.” – Principal Skinner Sorry (again) for the non-existant blogging around here, still been busy. There probably...
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Quote of the Day
“Hello, my name is Mr. Snrub, and I come from . . . someplace far away. Yes, that will do. Anyway, I say we invest that money back in the nuclear plant.” – C.M. Burns “I like the way Snrub thinks.”...
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Reading Digest: Open Audition Edition
“Sir, the actors are here to audition for the part of you.” – Mr. Smithers “Excellent.” – C.M. Burns It’s a short Reading Digest this week because I’m still behind the eight-ball, and the Dead Homer...
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Reading Digest: Pondering the Absence of Shearer Edition
“Oh, sir, what will you do next?” – Mr. Smithers “Well, first I’ll get that new hip I’ve been hankering for, then, who knows? Beekeeping, boxing, bocce ball, the world is my oyster, Smithers!...
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Quote of the Day
“Bart, I’m flabbergasted! Surely you knew as you were writing your own name in forty-foot high letters on the field that you would be caught.” – Principal Skinner “Maybe it was one of the other...
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Quote of the Day
“I, uh, don’t think this contest is over yet, Buzz, if that is your real name. I believe there is still a little something called the swimsuit competition.” – Homer Simpson “There’s no swimsuit...
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Reading Digest: Fucking CNN Edition
“Forget the hair, just give me the blush! Oh, we’re on.” – Kent Brockman Fucking CNN. This one is bad even by their impressive standards of idiocy and misinformation. Thanks to their sloppiness,...
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Reading Digest: Why Yes, It Is Time for Zombie Simpsons To End Edition
“Homey, I know you love me. We don’t need to get married again.” – Marge Simpson “Yes we do! I got us a divorce this afternoon!” – Homer Simpson The internet was still digesting the fact that Homer...
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Quote of the Day
“I really feel awful about your lawn, Marge. George can be so stubborn when he thinks he’s right.” – Barbara Bush “Well, Homer too. They’re so much alike.” – Marge Simpson “Too bad they got off on...
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Reading Digest: Moaning Lisa Has Aged Very Well Edition
“Just take mine. A simple cupcake will bring me no pleasure.” – Lisa Simpson This week we’ve got two links hearkening back to Season 1’s melancholy masterpiece “Moaning Lisa”, and two different fond...
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Reading Digest: Pancakes Edition
“This is gonna be the best birthday breakfast Mom ever had.” – Lisa Simpson “Hey, Lis, you think that’s enough for her?” – Bart Simpson “Maybe one more.” – Lisa Simpson Since the Fourth falls on a...
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Quote of the Day
“Mom! I found Sideshow Bob’s hideout and I got a secret message to the police and I had a blimp fall on me and I was in an atomic blast but I’m okay now!” – Lisa Simpson “Well, I wrecked the gate but...
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Shearer Not Gone After All
“In that family, nobody trusted nobody. They even brought their lawyers to Thanksgiving dinner.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Harry Shearer has decided to keep doing voices for Zombie Simpsons: Harry...
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How About Some GIFs?
“It’s that horrible Mr. Burns, isn’t it?” – Not Eunice “You leave Mr. Burns out of this!” – Streetcar Smithers “Smithers! Smithers!” – Streetcar Burns Apologies, but there won’t be a Reading Digest...
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Reading Digest: Contradictory Beer Edition
“Here you go, Red Tick Beer.” – Moe “Hmm, bold, refreshing, and something I can’t quite put my finger on.” – Homer Simpson “Needs more dog.” – Red Tick Brewmaster This week FOX announced that Chile...
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He Was Moe Green, Damn It!
“That screwball Marge Simpson, we’ve gotta stop her! But how?” – Roger Meyers Jr. “Drop and anvil on her?” – Cartoon Writer #1 “Hit her on the hear with a piano?” – Cartoon Exec #1 “Stuff her full of...
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