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Simpsons Survey
“I hope all you kids come out this weekend and really pack this place, just to show ’em how grateful I am. I told them you would! Don’t make me a liar.” – Krusty the Klown Our old friend Philip J....
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Reading Digest: Fan Made Crossovers Are Better Edition
“But first, move over Baltimore! Springfield has stolen your idea!” – Kent Brockman Some internet genius put together a version of the opening credits of the third season of The Wire, including the...
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Some Examples of Jerkass Homer From More Recent Seasons
“Hey, kids? Always recycle . . . to the extreme!” – Poochie Johnny Sugar, who once wrote a guest post for us titled “Where Al Jean Went Wrong”, has made it to what passes for the big time if you’re a...
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Reading Digest: Bands! Edition
“You got Poison to play at our wedding?” – Becky “We’re Cyanide, a loving tribute to Poison.” – Cyanide Singer “We need a ride home!” – Cyanide Drummer This week we might have a link of the month...
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Reading Digest: Global Calls for Cancellation Edition
“First of all, his accuser is a very shady character. That waiter, Mr. LaCoste, not only wasn’t born in Springfield, he wasn’t even born in this country!” – Blue Haired Lawyer “From now on, you tell...
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Tuesday Evening Cartoons
“Bart, take a letter. Dear Mr. Burns, I’m so glad you enjoyed my son’s blood, and your card was just great.” – Homer Simpson Liver spots are one of those undeniable signs of aging that remind us and...
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Reading Digest: Marriage Through Simpsons Edition
“There certainly are a lot of stains on the ceiling.” – Marge Bouvier “Marge, I’m sorry. I wish I could afford a better place.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, I’d be lying if I said that this is how I...
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Character, Story, and A One Syllable Punchline
“Hello, Bart. Now, you know the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie, don’t you, son?” – Judge Moulton “Maybe.” – Bart Simpson There’s a great exchange near the beginning of the...
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Reading Digest: What Do You Want, It’s August Edition
“Lisa, don’t sit in front of that telly like a fly stuck in a toffee. It’s a great big world out there!” – Shary Bobbins “Been there, done it.” – Lisa Simpson Very short Reading Digest this week on...
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Reading Digest: So Short It Barely Exists Edition
“Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. Come on, kids, let’s go home.” – Homer Simpson “We are home.” – Bart Simpson “That was fast.” – Homer Simpson It’s a holiday weekend and I’m very pressed...
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Quote of the Day
“I’m here to share my moral outrage. But this time it’s not about that giant, inflatable Dos Equis bottle.” – Marge Simpson Happy Birthday, Julie Kavner!
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Reading Digest: Arty Milhouse Edition
“Ever since I became a movie star I’ve been miserable. I had to get up at 5am just for makeup. I like the way the blush brings out my cheekbones, but it’s not worth it.” – Milhouse van Houten...
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Quote of the Day
“Look, my stomach really hurts.” – Bart Simpson “All I can give you are these chewable Prozac for kids. Your choice: Manic Depressive Mouse, or the Blue Bird of Unhappiness.” – Lunchlady Doris Happy...
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Quote of the Day
“Burns was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then transferred to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his condition to alive.” – Kent Brockman Happy 20th...
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Quote of the Day
“Well, Homer, I guess you’re the winner by default.” – NASA Guy “De fault? Woo-hoo! The two sweetest words in the English language! De fault De fault!” – Homer Simpson
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Reading Digest: In Denial About Season 27 Edition
“Homer, I want you to look at this drawing Bart did.” – Marge Simpson “Oh, it’s beautiful! Oh, let’s put Bart’s beautiful drawing up on the fridge-” – Homer Simpson “Homer, stop! Would you please...
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Saturday Morning Cartoons
“This is what love costs a month?” – Homer Simpson “These are standard stable fees, Mr. Simpson. Plus I’m teaching your daughter riding, grooming, and, at no extra charge, pronunciation.” – Lady at...
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Sunday Preview: Every Man’s Dream
Homer is diagnosed with narcolepsy — but instead of returning home with his prescription medication — he returns home drunk. He and Marge visit a marriage counselor and have a trial separation, during...
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Quote of the Day
“We studied traffic patterns and found that drivers move the fastest through yellow lights. So, now, we just have the red and yellow lights.” – Professor Frink “C’mon, stay yellow! Stay yellow!...
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Quote of the Day
“Okay, you can go out and play, but no more you-know-what in front of the house, alright? . . . Hey! What did I just say?” – Marge Simpson Happy birthday, Mike Scully!
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